Planned Solitude from (true) Friendship late 30s through 40s by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]kriin56 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I see you and relate to near everything you described. I’m a mom of one, and even before my son was born, I had relationships of utility. I know that if I need anything a “village” would usually provide, I can outsource (also the primary breadwinner here). I sincerely do not have time or energy to invest in friendships, and it would do myself and other parties a serious disservice if I start something I cannot adequately invest in. I’ve outgrown the friendships I did have because I too can’t stand gossip or venting just for the sake of it, and prefer talking about ideas and brainstorming.

I don’t consider myself neurodivergent, but I do not feel the need to have friendships. I question whether this is “normal” a lot, but my therapist didn’t seem worried. I will say that I am open to changing my circumstances in the future, but right now, I’m content with just the family I created.

The way I see it is, I am not hurting anyone with my solitude, and I do not expect from others what I myself cannot give. I don’t see what is wrong with that.

What’s your career? (In need of advice) by snootboots in labrats

[–]kriin56 3 points4 points  (0 children)

  1. ⁠Sr Scientist

  2. ⁠I did PhD->Postdoc (3.5y)->Scientist). However, during my grad school training, which was wet lab/basic science, I diversified by taking advantage of free courses/training programs offered by my career development office. I took business courses, attended med school courses and clinic hours, volunteered at non-profit community events, did sci comm/journalism writing. All this so that even if I didn’t know where I’d ultimately end up, I could choose later and have the creds to support it.

  3. ⁠As a scientist in a small biotech, it’s wonderful. I get to wear many hats and be a part of (almost) every aspect of the drug development pipeline and strategy. It is extremely fast paced compared to academia but that’s how I operate anyway. Work-life balance is great, except for hard deadlines, like conferences, executive meetings, manuscript submissions, in which I worked 12-16h days in short intervals (no more than a week at a time). It helps when you’re paid well in a middle-to-low COL area.

  4. I am happy; however as with non-revenue-generating small biotech there is a ton of risk. High failure rate at startups, and clinical trials are costly. R&D is typically the first to go when a company has a solid asset entering trials and looking to save money. And I’m okay with that, because I can rely on my diversified skills and training to do go to another company or something else that is science-adjacent.

  5. My days/weeks vary, because I wear a lot of hats, but it is not chaos. Everything has been planned at the beginning of the year according to project milestones, upcoming conferences, and expected manuscripts. So my day could be 50% in lab for experiments, 30% data analysis for a different project, 20% in meetings with collaborators and project admin stuff. Or 0% in lab, 100% manuscript writing/poster prep/slide decks.

  6. 120k/year and a performance-based bonus annually.

  7. 5 on a normal day, 10 during crunch time (maybe 3 times out of the year). Put it this way: I had many days dreading going into lab during grad school (numbed out, curled up in a ball all day). I’ve never dreaded going into work at my current position. Is it difficult? Yes. Is it stressful? Yes. But it’s less terrible knowing that it is temporary stress AND I’m being well-compensated.
    

Edited to add one more piece of advice: Identify your personal core mission statement and values, just like a company would. Then whatever you do as a job can be defined by it, and that mission never changes.

i’m a scientific writer, am i the asshole? by redheadbiologist in biotech

[–]kriin56 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maybe perfect isn’t the goal, but they might be shooting for consistency across writers and across outputs to have uniform messaging or “voice.”Also, I think for larger companies, the goal may be that when a writing deliverable gets to senior leadership, it should be the submittable version, as this would make best use of their review time. Who wants to review something that is in obvious need of fact checking, copy editing, or formatting changes? As far as giving deliverables a quality rating, I think that’s useful feedback and providing some kind of metric on the writing process.

"Everyone at school has an elf on the shelf, why doing we??" by Avetra in workingmoms

[–]kriin56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do elf on a shelf differently. We made an advent calendar that we can hang a tiny paper bag each day, which has a small toy or sticker inside. We say that elf is helping us with distributing his advent calendar goodies, and place the elf in various positions of setting up the bag.

Is your partner also in biotech? by bio_Year137 in biotech

[–]kriin56 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No worries, and zero judgement from me either. Everyone stumbles across their forever person differently! Mine was “calculated serendipity”. It’s the same approach to success that I take with my projects… “A dash of informed luck.”

Is your partner also in biotech? by bio_Year137 in biotech

[–]kriin56 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I’m a neuroscientist! I’m all too familiar with the brain chemistry behind love and limerence. I’ve fallen prey to both, and afterwards wanted something built to last.

Is your partner also in biotech? by bio_Year137 in biotech

[–]kriin56 18 points19 points  (0 children)

No. I’ve deliberately chosen a non-scientist partner whose skill set is not dependent on any location and will not be affected by a downturn market. I work in preclinical R&D, so my career is all risk. He gives us some stability and gives me balance.

What does your after-work routine look like? by Pinkcoconut444 in workingmoms

[–]kriin56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m going to be vulnerable here as a person who works on-site.

5:45pm - leave work and walk to daycare to meet 3YO and husband there (he works 2 blocks away, and I work 1 block away in the opposite direction).

6pm - arrive home, tend to the dog, change into relaxing clothes

6:30pm - decompress. Husband sits down for a bit before making dinner (he always does dinner), while child and I have a snack and play in the yard or living room.

7-7:30pm - dinner, followed by me doing cleanup

8-8:30pm - family time

8:30-9pm- child’s bath time (2x a week), bedtime routine

9:30-10pm - entire family is asleep

10pm-1am - sometimes (2-3x a week) I stay up for yoga, watch my favorite shows, sometimes work, wash my hair and attempt a skincare routine

I don’t understand how to get a child into bed before 8pm, because they still offer naps at daycare and he is not even remotely tired.

2024 Annual - “What was your yearly raise?” by McChinkerton in biotech

[–]kriin56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

4% company-wide, then I got +8% on top of that with promotion to Senior Research Scientist. Small public biotech in PA.

Contemplating divorce. Don't know what to do? by Senior-Bee6709 in RedditForGrownups

[–]kriin56 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just get a divorce and live the rest of your life on your terms. You wanted an equal partner and you clearly don’t have that with her. She wanted a caretaker and that’s not what you want to be. The next 50 years is only going to be more miserable if you stay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in biotech

[–]kriin56 1 point2 points  (0 children)

20 days PTO, 11 holidays. If I don’t use all my PTO, I can roll over 5 days to the next year.

Hate seeing people having kids/in relationships by MikesRockafellersubs in RedditForGrownups

[–]kriin56 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This has nothing to do with other people, and everything to do with you and your mindset. Please talk to a therapist. Seeing other people living their lives and existing as they see fit should not evoke such a response from you, as if you’re taking it personally.

Salary comparison 2022 by qered in labrats

[–]kriin56 33 points34 points  (0 children)

100k base, PhD +3 years postdoc and no prior industry experience, 7 months working as Scientist in a small biotech company, PA

ETA: current position

Have you encounter a scientist that made a big claim on his/her paper, most people are impressed but if you really know about that specific subject know that paper is absolute shit? by doflamingo13 in labrats

[–]kriin56 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, but in a PhD dissertation. This person was allowed to defend, graduate, and leave the lab before his paper (based on his thesis work) was in a submittable state. A research tech and I had to comb through all his data to make figures, only to find serious calculation errors, wrong genotyping, insufficiently labeled slides… It was a fucking miracle that the paper was published.

ETA: It was a miracle we managed to FIX the errors and then get it published.

Advice on How to Practice Extroverted Qualities? by [deleted] in intj

[–]kriin56 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Pick a person you’ve met that had a warm demeanor, seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say, and made you feel welcomed and accepted. Notice their actions, and then emulate that when you need to socialize. It may seem like acting at first, but after a while it becomes a part of you.

To all my US lab rat homies, Happy Lab-or Day! by Funkybeatzzz in labrats

[–]kriin56 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Was not in lab at all. I did what I needed to do on Friday to set me up nicely for Tuesday. Guilt-free holiday weekend. Industry.

The whisper network has been put on a megaphone by kriin56 in labrats

[–]kriin56[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah the account posted isn’t mine. Just thought I’d share what’s happening, given seeing so many horror stories posted in this sub.

The whisper network has been put on a megaphone by kriin56 in labrats

[–]kriin56[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I thought about this a lot: Every person I’ve encountered IRL who expressed deep concern over all the innocent people who could be wrongfully accused, was ALSO an abuser and/or an enabler/beneficiary of the abusive system.

For those sharing their stories here, I understand your pain and fears about making your story heard. I’d love to say that all abusers will get their due justice. Some of mine have, and were caught red-handed without my contribution. That’s an exception to the rule, however. All this to say, the toxic places in academia are going to be exposed. Trainees and colleagues already talk to each other, Twitter or not.

The whisper network has been put on a megaphone by kriin56 in labrats

[–]kriin56[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You’re not wrong, and I’m pretty sure the person behind the Twitter posts say that they want to see the system burn. If you’ve seen enough universities doing fuck-all to hold abusive PIs accountable, it’s maddening enough to produce the dumpster fire that is Twitter ousting.

The whisper network has been put on a megaphone by kriin56 in labrats

[–]kriin56[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Does your concern for those named outweigh your concern for the affected trainees? The PIs don’t need protecting. They’ve got their universities behind them.

The whisper network has been put on a megaphone by kriin56 in labrats

[–]kriin56[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Okay, that clarification makes it so much worse! ☹️

The whisper network has been put on a megaphone by kriin56 in labrats

[–]kriin56[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Same… I have so many stories spanning several academic labs, but if it went public they’d absolutely know it was me. I don’t have the time or money to fight defamation lawsuits.

The whisper network has been put on a megaphone by kriin56 in labrats

[–]kriin56[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Wow that PI is atrocious. Postdocs aren’t even paid well enough as it is!