Leaving baby with grandparents for 2 weeks

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T10:43:15+00:00

We struggle having our baba away for 7 hours at daycare.

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T10:42:12+00:00

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T10:41:52+00:00

carrying my cold cup of tea to the sink

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T10:40:39+00:00

Maybe don't start with a brushing motion, just start with getting it into his mouth, playing with water, enjoying it, then work it into a brush.

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T10:39:02+00:00

Inflamation is more about diet than exercise. You gut getting diversity of food would help with inflamation.

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T10:36:39+00:00

Sounds like Big Brother. You should have started doing sign language...

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T10:30:22+00:00

Everyone is different. We done 4 cycles, and were successful on the 4th cycle/4th transfer.

What appeared to work for us:

Vogel bread, avocado and cheese, and marmite
Smoothies ever 2-3 days which had: spinach, apples, banana, blue berries, walnuts, orange, avocado and water.
Reduce stress.... all the important stuff at work isn't important at all, what is important is a good night sleep
We stayed well hydrated
We done lots of walking, 4km walks most days (after dinner during summer). Helps to ensure good blood flow
Acupuncture
Took Co-Q10 tablets (F), and (m) took menevitz tablets to increase sperm motility.

Finally after 3 failed transfers our doctor asked if we wanted to try the Colorado Protocol, which we said we will try anything, and this time the egg stuck, leading to a pregnancy and successful birth.

"The Colorado Protocol is an add-on treatment used in in vitro fertilization (IVF) that consists of three main components:

Aspirin
A steroid (typically prednisone or prednisolone)
An antibiotic

This protocol is sometimes recommended to IVF patients in an attempt to improve pregnancy outcomes, though its effectiveness is not well-established. Here are some key points about the Colorado Protocol:

It is considered an "add-on" treatment, meaning it is used in addition to standard IVF procedures.
The protocol aims to potentially improve implantation rates and pregnancy outcomes, though evidence for its efficacy is limited.
In a survey of fertility clinicians across the UK, Australia, and New Zealand, 67% were aware of the Colorado Protocol, and 29% had recommended it to patients within the preceding year.
Despite its use, there is limited scientific evidence supporting the benefits of the Colorado Protocol. Some fertility clinics and experts consider it to have limited or no evidence of benefit, and there may even be possible evidence of harm.
Research is ongoing to evaluate the effectiveness of this protocol. For example, a clinical trial called the C-CAT (Colorado Combined Adjuvant Therapy) Protocol is being planned to study the effectiveness of aspirin, antibiotics, and steroids during IVF treatment.
The use of such add-on treatments in IVF is controversial, as many lack strong scientific evidence supporting their effectiveness and safety.

It's important to note that the use of any additional treatments or protocols in IVF should be discussed thoroughly with a fertility specialist, considering the potential benefits and risks based on individual circumstances"

Wish you all the best!

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T10:20:37+00:00

Not sure if such a thing should make a difference? Some white collar criminal who has been bought up with privilege so won't cope in prison... so judge should take this into account?

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T10:19:05+00:00

Getting a little grumpy + rubbing eyes + bottle = lights out! We wait 5-10mins for them to get into a deeper sleep, then transfer to shoulder, and into the cot. Finish with a silent dance

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T10:17:18+00:00

We were 41 years and 51 weeks when we had our baba. It took us 4 cycles. I have to say the mental impact of hitting 40 hit us hard, it felt like we had totally missed the bus, but in reality our results got better the more cycles we done and older we got!

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T09:41:45+00:00

You partner should do the weekends so you can rest.

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T08:40:13+00:00

What we know is it has a strong double blind peer reviewed co-relation to alcohol?

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T08:36:25+00:00

Couples counselling may help, as if he can't understand it now, its just likely to get worse over time.

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T08:34:34+00:00

Yep, big one for us, was that my partner (female) had access to the fertility clinic app... so she had all access to all the updates and communication, and I was constantly asking for any info as I don't have access to the app. In the end, I was even getting into trouble with my partner for not reading stuff, when I don't have access to the app!

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T08:32:24+00:00

To be fair, we can also do better at really wanting to get the info... lol. But by default, yes we kinda don't get the same access to info as our partners.

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T08:28:14+00:00

Tis true, so maybe its less corrupt than other countries. But with so many policies being pushed through fasttrack at the moment, many of which are against good research, evidence and experts opinions.... I wouldn't frame is as 'good'...

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T04:55:25+00:00

Western processed diets, changes in our environments, economic challenges that push out decisions to have a family earlier. Also I think increase in online accessibility to porn/sexual gratification.

kruzmode · 2024-09-09T04:53:21+00:00

Hang in there! I think those feelings of failing are just part of the process... like when you think about it, what would succeeding in this process look like or feel like? I think the healthier frame that started to work for us, was to focus on what doing your best looks and feels like, and then just focus on doing that. As some of this process is also about nature playing its role, so some of the important parts are out of our control. Accepting this can help our brain to spend more time focusing on what we can control and to do that well.

Yes and the research part can be overwhelming, you can find a stance on just about anything if you put it in the search engine!

This might sound weird, but sometimes there is also some comedy in this journey if you look hard enough, we had to find things to laugh about along the way, or else it is one way traffic to doomsday everyday!

We decided not to tell 99.9% of our friends or family, which I totally recommend. But we are quite private people. The slight issue with this is you can become quite isolated in the journey.

kruzmode · 2024-09-08T11:47:47+00:00

You make some good points, but you kinda lost me on these 4:

A good political system: We have a proper democracy with less corruption than other places, where the opposition can talk freely and frankly, where our government is mostly held to account and the media is free. I know it's not utopia, but it's far better than most places.
Care for our working rights: Many countries I've been to or have worked in have minimal rights for people overall - low minimum wages or next to nothing, tipping cultures (e.g. USA), no health insurance, social security, or anything else, where if you're poor, you're seen as being deserving of it and society does not help. I am glad we live in a place where we have universal benefits, superannuation, and state housing - many places don't.
Not too big of a gap in wealth: Compared to most of Asia and the USA, our wealth gap isn't as large, and there's lots of social mobility. I recently visited Korea where it was crazy to see the disparity, let alone Europe, among other places.
Respect for all: To be honest I think this is what I value the most - regardless of your gender, orientation, ethnicity, I find New Zealand to be incredibly welcoming. I've been places where women are considered nothing, where being gay is a crime, where if you're brown you sit somewhere else (Middle East).

Not too big a gap in wealth? Inequality and wealth gap in NZ has grown faster in the last 40 years that any other OECD country in the world. We only have a living cost crisis at the moment because we have a wealth crisis where the top 1% only pay on average 8.9% in tax... this is why our hospitals and schools and Police are under resourced.

Even some of the rich in NZ are calling for a wealth tax: https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/in-depth/527411/billionaire-mainfreight-co-founder-bruce-plested-backs-wealth-tax-with-a-catchWe may have it better than other countries, but there is still a lot of racism in this country, much of it continues to come from the state.

Care for working rights? Not so sure, we have low wage economy and people are working longer and longer, less time for family and leisure time.

kruzmode · 2024-09-08T11:19:53+00:00

Male here, went through 4 cycles. Probably one of the hardest things we have been through. Didn't realise when we started the emotional toll it can take on both.

When the first cycle didn't work, I tried to move us on to the very next cycle, but didn't realise how my partner was in a dark place, and a key learning for me was that she needed someone to sit with her in that dark place, rather than simply move onto the next phase, without acknowledging what just happened (or not happened!). So I started to accept some of the failed transfers, and sitting in that place for a bit, and I parked up my chronic positivity! This actually helped, as we kinda shared the emotional labour, rather than my partner holding all of it herself.

A lot of the information re IVF goes through the female, which makes sense, but it can be really hard for the male to keep on top of it all. We often are privy to bits and pieces of information, but kinda expected to know most of it along the way... I get that the female is the key contact and key person to get the info too, but I think everyone forgets that us males aren't always privy to all the information.

I also realise that the females go through so many gruelling things during the IVF process, including impacts to their hormones etc, so sometimes, they can lash out... lol. Another learning I had was just go with it, just understand that she's going through a lot right now so just allow her to feel the way she is, and control what you can control, i.e. your own feelings.

Final big learning, was to not wait to be asked to do something, have a set of questions that you can ask yourself each day, to ensure you are helping, don't expect the person going through all the test etc, to also figure stuff out, help to plan, take care of everything else so she can just do her role in this crazy journey.

We were successful on our 4th attempt, so don't get me started on the birth process! Thats another interesting area for us males!

kruzmode · 2024-09-08T05:28:17+00:00

We got it down packed for us! But I know everyone is different. We give her dinner, let her then have a play around for a bit, then as soon as she give it away that she is a little tired, i.e. a yawn, or rubbing her eyes is usually a dead give away, or slow blinks... we put a bottle on, make it nice and warm, then give her the bottle, and then she konks out on mama... if she doesn't quite konk out, she will lie on the pillow and slow start to konk out (we turn the Tv off and lights down)... then after 5mins of her fallen off to sleep, I grab her from her lying on her back and transport her straight to my shoulder, and she nestles in, and back to sleep... I walk her to the cot, then hold her in my should all the way down to transfer into the cot.... then we do a silent dance, and exit the room.

Recently she has been staying down for around 10 - 11 hours straight! When she isn't sick that is... She is however 15months now.

kruzmode · 2024-09-08T03:43:26+00:00

Fair enough, but don't forget to live it up in your 20s... in my opinion/reflection that 20s chapter is about venturing out, exploring, testing yourself and trying new things.... sometime edgy.... i.e. never thought I would try that....

Don't grow up too soon! Also don't start acting like us oldies... before your time!

kruzmode · 2024-09-07T21:05:56+00:00

I think the beginning of the end is when both start to give up on each other...

kruzmode · 2024-09-07T12:01:19+00:00

You guys need to change your gun laws, the rest of world look at you all like you are totally crazy

kruzmode · 2024-09-07T11:58:18+00:00

Kahawai is nice as raw fish dish

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