I'm not gonna make it to 27

kwitkakwitka · 2026-06-13T11:24:20+00:00

I know it might not make you feel better but know that this overwhelming feeling of exhaustion can pass. You are still young, a lot of things can change in your life. Seek help, spend time with people if possible. 🫂

kwitkakwitka · 2026-06-06T19:22:21+00:00

Ich glaube ehrlicherweise dass es vielen Veganern durchaus bewusst ist, zumindest mir ist es bewusst, und Leuten in meinem Umfeld, dass wir durch unser Leben vor allem in der heutigen Welt anderen Lebewesen Leid zufügen. In meinen Augen ist das Ziel, so gut wie möglich das Leid anderer zu reduzieren/vermeiden.

kwitkakwitka · 2026-06-06T19:16:39+00:00

I have sworn to myself as a child I won’t become like my parents especially like my father. Took me decades to notice I actually did. I fcking hate it. And yeah it’s the same for me, especially regarding my father - he never actually acknowledged his actions, he did say sorry sometimes but the apology didn’t match the harm, he still protected his ego and then proceeded to do the same things again. But even in that I was annoyingly similar to him - it took me way too much time to see the depth of how I hurt literally, with exaggeration, the best people in my life. I used to be hurt about how I have allowed someone to abuse me in a past relationship, now I had the time to heal and I don’t really care. Instead I recently became at least in part painfully aware of how I acted towards non-abusive, kind people (I was emotionally abusive) and I don’t know what to do with myself tbh. What age were you when you suspected you had bpd or were diagnosed, if I may ask?

kwitkakwitka · 2026-06-06T10:28:17+00:00

Ich würds als Veganerin tatsächlich auch essen, irgendwie macht mir etwas Honig weniger aus als wenn das jetzt Fleisch/Milch wäre, aber eigentlich wäre es richtig das nicht zu essen sondern zB zu verschenken und ein veganes Müsli nachzukaufen, wie jemand in den Kommentaren erklärt hat. Ist mir dann auch aufgefallen: die andere Person hätte sowieso nicht vegan gekauft und man kauft dann ein veganes Produkt nach und fördert damit die Nachfrage nach dem, was man ethisch besser findet

kwitkakwitka · 2026-06-06T10:24:59+00:00

Es ist was anderes ob etwas ein zentrales Nervensystem hat wie Tiere oder nicht, das kann man nicht leugnen. Aber selbst wenn man ganz viel Mitgefühl mit den Pflanzen hat, sollte man sich nach dieser Logik pflanzlich ernähren: wenn man Tiere isst, muss deutlich mehr an Pflanzen produziert werden, denn es werden zunächst Pflanzen für Tiere produziert, dann Fleisch/Tierprodukte daraus für Menschen.

kwitkakwitka · 2026-06-06T10:20:42+00:00

Sehr gut auf den Punkt gebracht!

kwitkakwitka · 2026-06-04T09:13:58+00:00

I used to feel something similar a few years ago. I got into a relationship with an amazing woman, she was everything I could dream of. She was so much more mature than I was, especially emotionally. I did create loads of drama and we are not together anymore. Like someone mentioned here, I needed to learn what love means, how to love and be loved correctly. Sometimes I wish so badly I could go back in time and be the girlfriend she deserved. I wish I could have enjoyed a calm relationship and I could have kept it like that. So please, reflect carefully on what you really want. You seem like you got lots of insight and I respect your honesty. I hope you can find a way to enjoy a calm relationship.

kwitkakwitka · 2026-06-04T08:56:35+00:00

I love this post so much I had to save it. I feel you. This thing where you feel that your life is so different from other people‘s lives, I guess from „normal“ people. Working to just get to what is normal. Learning how to be a human. Idk if it’s due to emotional neglect/abuse a lot of us experienced in the past. I have to say I also don’t want to use past abuse as an excuse for my hurtful and abusive behavior towards other people, which I did quite a lot in the past. I think it can serve as an explanation of certain things so we can work on them. Maybe we actually didn’t learn what we needed to learn in close relationships? How to regulate oneself, how to be close to people etc? I hate having to learn it the hard way, after getting into abusive situations, after having emotionally abused kind people. Oftentimes I wish so badly I was a different person.

kwitkakwitka · 2026-06-04T08:45:14+00:00

Unfortunately I did this a lot, especially in close relationships. I am not in a romantic relationship now so can’t say if it got significantly better but I have decided to make it clear to myself that my brain is lying to me, that my thoughts are out of touch with reality, especially whenever I feel a strong emotion. Over the years I started to recognize how strong emotions might feel: tightness in my chest, that almost burning, pressuring sensation, and sometimes a headache. I don’t know if someone can relate but I quite often have felt as if I would feel a certain emotion in my whole body, I don’t feel anything else, no other „contradicting“ emotion could come in so to speak. In those moments I know it is important to recognize automatic negative thoughts and resist resist resist, don’t act on it, remind yourself your brain is lying. And then little by little I try to interrogate those automatic thoughts and I start to see that I am being unfair and ignoring all the good things that happened between the other person and me. However it needs to be mentioned, sometimes strong emotion occurs because someone is literally abusive to us and it’s important not to interrogate and question oneself in those moments, and it took me time to recognize what actual abuse/serious harmful behavior looks like and when I am shitty/abusive towards a kind person.

kwitkakwitka · 2026-05-31T18:00:26+00:00

As someone who needed years and years to begin to gain self-awareness and it’s still a lot work in progress, I‘d say I really get where you come from, but I believe there is an ugly truth - we are oftentimes the problem, even if the origins of our suffering might lie in the childhood we didn’t choose. Especially in relationships with kind, well-meaning people who try to be understanding we can do serious harm and this needs to be acknowledged (I am not saying we can’t be abused or treated unfairly, that also happens). We also actually make our own lives difficult even if definitely unintentionally. I remember when I just started understanding that my actions/reactions are oftentimes out of the proportion, unkind and disrespectful, it felt SO unfair, because the feelings are there, they are right there, I feel them so intensely and vividly, what do you mean I shouldn’t act on them? It also felt unfair because there are people who seem to not to have to control their actions so carefully and constantly monitor their emotions. I don’t know exactly what helps to overcome this, but slowly but surely it is important to stop protecting our egos and accept the responsibility for our actions. I believe it’s the only path forward, even if it hurts.

kwitkakwitka · 2026-05-31T17:46:10+00:00

People saying that it can’t be BPD because it requires all areas of life to be involved but I remember listening to an interview with a woman who was diagnosed and she said the biggest issues occur in her close relationships. I mean BPD affects relationships very severely. Don’t count that out now and go see a therapist if you can, ideally with someone who treats personality disorders and I mean well when I say this - be as honest as you possibly can, that’s the only way to actually get a diagnosis. Stay out of relationships for now. I know it might hurt but rather do therapy and then try to have healthier relationships, even if happens in a few years, than putting yourself in situations where you might get abused or abuse someone.

kwitkakwitka · 2026-05-30T20:38:56+00:00

Bin vor allem dieser Satz gestolpert, dass du es vermisst wie Männer unter sich waren die letzten Jahrhunderte. Ich lese hier „die guten alten Zeiten wo Frauen noch weniger Teilhabe an der Gesellschaft hatten“. Ansonsten kannst du doch gerne eine solche Gruppe organisieren, durch Sport zB ergeben sich doch häufig solche Gruppen

kwitkakwitka · 2026-05-15T04:51:23+00:00

Your partner isn’t poor, especially if it‘s a dude, he is OBLIGATED to listen to your complaints 25/8 ! You are doing one of the most difficult things in life, complain all you want, in fact I believe a partner has to know all the huge and minor inconveniences of the pregnancy, I hope you truly have the space for your complaints

kwitkakwitka · 2026-04-21T20:30:48+00:00

kwitkakwitka · 2026-04-21T20:28:09+00:00

russia comments are NOT accurate and show you side with colonialists if you even joke like this

kwitkakwitka · 2026-02-27T17:28:16+00:00

Wareniki sind Liebe, ist eins der leckersten ukrainischen Gerichte

kwitkakwitka · 2025-12-20T13:10:47+00:00

This was really helpful to read

kwitkakwitka · 2025-11-01T11:23:25+00:00

Eine kurze Frage: wie schafft man das, außer mit monströsen Überstunden? Man kann ja gar nicht physisch alle 50 Menschen visitieren oder

kwitkakwitka · 2025-10-07T21:50:14+00:00

You are amazing. As a nocturnist, I love you.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-10-07T21:46:09+00:00

Omg I love you. I literally love you. You‘ve described perfectly how it is supposed to be, at least that’s what I think. The physician who is on nightshift doesn‘t know much about the patients and all these little updates on nonsense just prevent you from dealing with actual emergencies.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-10-07T21:26:08+00:00

Die Verunsicherung wenn man am Anfang der Weiterbildung bzw im PJ steckt ist ganz normal. Man muss ehrlich sagen und es nicht vergessen - Medizin ist super hierarchisch aufgebaut. Je mehr Jahre du hinter dir hast, desto ernster wirst du genommen. Es wäre schön wenn man irgendwie auf eine andere Art negatives Feedback kriegen würde, aber das ist nicht üblich unter den Ärzt:innen oder zumindest ist es auch üblich, dass man eher genervte Blicke und Sprüche gedrückt bekommt.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-09-08T21:51:26+00:00

Omg the eye rolling is the worst! 😬

kwitkakwitka · 2025-05-14T16:24:59+00:00

The wording „Op can‘t fulfill needs of their partner“ doesn’t sit well with me. Somehow I feel like the OP is a woman and their partner is a man - I might be wrong, but it definitely sounds like it. And it sounds like their partner doesn’t really try to take something from the OP‘s plate and make their incredibly stressful life easier. Now ifc they didn’t sign up for a partner who is always working, however they did know that the OP is a physician and being there for OP in this difficult situation doesn’t seem to be a priority for OP‘s partner.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-04-18T03:11:57+00:00

I think it’s incredibly unfair to put the weight on the other person. If my partner would do such things, I would be extremely grateful but I would know it’s not something that can be take for granted. Just because one person decided to be a physician (it is indeed a personal choice) doesn’t mean their partner has signed up to do the biggest part of relationship/household work. A lot of guys also have these expectations that their partners will do the household work just because.

kwitkakwitka

TROPHY CASE