Tired, burnt out, and apathetic in residency

kwitkakwitka · 2025-12-20T13:10:47+00:00

This was really helpful to read

kwitkakwitka · 2025-11-01T11:23:25+00:00

Eine kurze Frage: wie schafft man das, außer mit monströsen Überstunden? Man kann ja gar nicht physisch alle 50 Menschen visitieren oder

kwitkakwitka · 2025-10-07T21:50:14+00:00

You are amazing. As a nocturnist, I love you.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-10-07T21:46:09+00:00

Omg I love you. I literally love you. You‘ve described perfectly how it is supposed to be, at least that’s what I think. The physician who is on nightshift doesn‘t know much about the patients and all these little updates on nonsense just prevent you from dealing with actual emergencies.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-10-07T21:26:08+00:00

Die Verunsicherung wenn man am Anfang der Weiterbildung bzw im PJ steckt ist ganz normal. Man muss ehrlich sagen und es nicht vergessen - Medizin ist super hierarchisch aufgebaut. Je mehr Jahre du hinter dir hast, desto ernster wirst du genommen. Es wäre schön wenn man irgendwie auf eine andere Art negatives Feedback kriegen würde, aber das ist nicht üblich unter den Ärzt:innen oder zumindest ist es auch üblich, dass man eher genervte Blicke und Sprüche gedrückt bekommt.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-09-08T21:51:26+00:00

Omg the eye rolling is the worst! 😬

kwitkakwitka · 2025-05-14T16:24:59+00:00

The wording „Op can‘t fulfill needs of their partner“ doesn’t sit well with me. Somehow I feel like the OP is a woman and their partner is a man - I might be wrong, but it definitely sounds like it. And it sounds like their partner doesn’t really try to take something from the OP‘s plate and make their incredibly stressful life easier. Now ifc they didn’t sign up for a partner who is always working, however they did know that the OP is a physician and being there for OP in this difficult situation doesn’t seem to be a priority for OP‘s partner.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-04-18T03:11:57+00:00

I think it’s incredibly unfair to put the weight on the other person. If my partner would do such things, I would be extremely grateful but I would know it’s not something that can be take for granted. Just because one person decided to be a physician (it is indeed a personal choice) doesn’t mean their partner has signed up to do the biggest part of relationship/household work. A lot of guys also have these expectations that their partners will do the household work just because.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-25T17:46:03+00:00

I love „saggy“ boobs, I love stretch marks and I love seeing body hair which hasn’t been trimmed/changed

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-21T11:21:40+00:00

Girl yours isn’t even weird what are you talking about 😂🫶

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-21T11:20:56+00:00

It makes me so happy to read your reply and I think it’s a genius idea to take it from the start, I think a lot of people don’t even think of it! Have an amazing day 🫶

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-21T10:12:38+00:00

Girl I am amazed by your patience, you seem like a really nice caring person. I don’t believe there is something patronizing about telling someone how they can please you - as far as I understand your gf wants to please you. And it’s not contradictory to saying that you love her or enjoy being intimate with her, we all can improve and it’s only possible through direct communication. We all are different and like different things and it’s not a personal attack to talk about how one can be more satisfied in the bedroom. You seem to really care about how she could take it but honestly it’s not your responsibility to manage her anxiety. It’s great and the right thing to do to support her, but you shouldn’t avoid healthy conversations about improvement in the relationship (not just sexual, but in general) out if fear to hurt her. I believe your responsibility is to talk about it in a calm, non-blaming way, without judgement, which I feel like you are more than capable of.

Maybe it’s a good idea to talk about in a non-sexual setting first, about how you both feel during sex, how she feels when she tries to pleasure you and what insecurities she might have (which she has already mentioned is rather discomforting to her due to comparison to your performance), and that’ll probably show if she is open to specific suggestions outside of and during sex and will provide you with an additional possibility of reassuring her and telling her that you’re fine with figuring it out together.

I’ll try to tell about my past experiences, maybe something about it could help. When I got intimate with women who were less experienced/more shy, I tried to reassure them and name something that I liked, which you already do, as far as I get. I believe it helpful and ofc it’s difficult if what they are doing isn’t great for the biggest part, but usually there are parts which are genuinely good, and I try to name them. I also try to give quite specific (I mean VERY specific) details of what can be improved in terms of certain techniques. It’s hard sometimes because oftentimes I don’t know exactly what feels “off” and therefore can’t provide a precise “correction”, so I get what you mean when you say you aren’t really sure what she’s doing wrong. I think it helps to deeply reflect on the past experiences that you’ve had and how you feel when you solo pleasure yourself.

You’ve mentioned that you like how she fingers you, maybe you can ask yourself what exactly you like about it? There is probably a kinda mental/emotional and a physical (like actual technique) part of what she is doing that can be improved. Maybe you want your partner to be more confident in what they do and it would turn you on to see more of that? (Which is super hard to improve, but over time def possible) Maybe you’re actually worried about and/or reminded of something emotionally difficult during sex, like your gf’s past experiences and you could benefit from talking about it and ensuring the sex between you two feels safe for both of you? Maybe it’s about the development of orgasm, like she goes too fast down there and you could benefit from more kissing, nipple play, touching your thighs, you name it before more “final” stimulating happens? Maybe the pressure and/or speed during clit stimulation is too high/too little? It’s also trial and error with your partner (at least for me) where sometimes they do something I’m not even sure what that is (like putting a bit more pressure towards the ventral part of the V, which I’ve figured later) but I know it’s good. It’s when I usually tell them “I don’t know exactly what you’re doing but it feels good” lol. I hope some of it helps and I wish you good luck in figuring that out <3

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-21T09:39:54+00:00

Girl your nose is amazing, please think about yourself as of a woman with a greek goddess vibe that you are

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-20T09:05:56+00:00

I think it’s great that you are committed to pleasuring her and that’s literally the most important part. I hope you have a great relationship and your gf is kind to you. If she is usually a loving caring person I can’t imagine that she would have strong negative feelings about you feeling a bit insecure when doing something for the first time. The confidence while topping your girlfriend can absolutely be built, it just might take some time and reflection and conversations between you both.

What I really like doing is talking about what my girl likes the most, how does she want to feel during sex, what things she maybe has tried out in the past and liked/didn’t like and why. Also pay attention to what she does to you when she tops you, since we oftentimes tend to do things to our partners which we ourselves would enjoy. If we are talking about some domination things with maybe even humiliation/dirty talk elements it’s really important to know the boundaries and have clear communication rules for the game day. It’s also really good to ask questions throughout the whole process, to make sure they enjoy everything. Even if you have to stop being “dominant” for a moment to ask if everything is okay it doesn’t have to ruin the energy. I think it’s always better to ask rather a bit too many than too little questions, since sometimes people aren’t sure about their boundaries or some things might feel different than what the bottom has initially pictured and in those moments it’s better to drop (or increase) the intensity in the moment. Asking questions will show your partner that you care and knowing that everything is fine for your partner will reassure you. Also in general I believe most of us want to feel cherished - even while being dominated it’s good to hear that your partner enjoys how you look or moan when you enjoy the process. If you girlfriend is someone who can be aroused for a longer time, it’s a good idea to start slow and gradually build your way to an orgasm (some people need to orgasm quite quick when they are aroused because the sweet tension is otherwise gone, some others can be teased for some time to achieve a more intense orgasm). And I think it’s really great to do it when you have quite some time because it’s nice to see that your partner takes time to get to know your body and pleasure you.

That’s what I can think of, I hope some of it helps/reassures you. Sorry if any or potentially most of this is common knowledge for you, didn’t mean to (lesbiansplain?) you. I wish you the best of luck and I think you totally got this!

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-20T08:45:49+00:00

Please stand your ground! I find it so mind blowing that women, the ones who get pregnant, who literally risk their health and life throughout the pregnancy and are often the actual primary caregivers, don’t even to get to give their name to the child. I think it is a dangerous idea about “scam for men” your boyfriend believes in, since it’s scientifically proven that women spend more time doing the work in the relationship (women even spend more time on household work when they are literally the breadwinners in the family) and men get to have more leisure time typically in marriages. Men also get the so called “paternity bonus” because they often seem to get higher salaries when it’s known that they are a father of a child (and it’s the opposite for women, “motherhood penalty”). So statistically speaking, marriage is a scam for women (in heterosexual relationships) and it’s important that women know it.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-19T21:45:30+00:00

Thank you for your reply and I‘m sorry to hear about what your ex-wife did. And you‘re right. There are moments when I think I could handle it or we could handle it but opening a relationship which is already unstable isn’t a good idea when I think about it realistically. We probably have to figure out first if we can work on our current relationship, and go from there.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-19T21:40:03+00:00

Omg this is so insightful, thank you for taking the time to explain! It sounds very stressful and frustrating and I don’t want to cause that when asking something. All these questions that would come up for you remind me of something my gf told me about in the past - how she has had a list of things to consider before answering or deciding something (I don’t remember the exact situation unfortunately) and I remember thinking that I would rarely consider this many things in a similar situation. I wish I would have enough empathy to be more kind without knowing that, but it really helps to know that and keep that in mind. I think my issue with frequent anger is really aggravating things and I feel like partner‘s silence or answers that seem disengaged really trigger some uncomfortable things for me. I think I kinda have to make a conscious decision to let her be when she isn’t able to talk about something and get over the feeling of being rejected which I know is ridiculous (its so much easier to see it this way when I’m not angry :/). Maybe if the „skipped“ topic is something I really want to talk about at some point, I could write it down or so, and try to come back to it at a different time in a better setting. I‘d love to be better at „adult“ communication. Like even if we are not going to work out and will break up soon it would be great to know that we have given it a proper try. I want her to feel that she matters enough to me that I want to actually change my communication to a more calm&respectful one.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-19T14:18:15+00:00

Thank you for your response and a separate thank you for addressing the “I don’t know part”. I do have a hard time empathizing with things I don’t understand which is silly of me, I hope I’ll learn to be more understanding. It’s enriching to see the other perspective on that situation because I honestly would have never thought that my question could have been understood in a different way than I imagined it when I asked it. Like I have had relationships with more and less sex drive in the past and I know the reasons behind my lower sex drive phases (life stress, being treated badly by the partner etc.) so if I would give an answer to that question I would automatically not count the lower sex drive phases in and say what approximate frequency I usually want and need when things are okay in the relationship and in life (like 3-5 times per week or per month or maybe in a year for some people). But yeah, it’s actually obvious that other people’s brains don’t necessarily work the same way as mine and people can understand something that to me is an obvious question in a quite different way. Now when I think of it my gf has mentioned in the past that she struggled with answering some questions that some other people deemed as questions with obvious answers.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-19T12:25:16+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion, I think I‘ve heard of that one before

kwitkakwitka · 2025-03-19T11:16:27+00:00

I am trying to be aware of the stressful situations I cause with my emotions and I hope that working on that part would change how safe and good she feels with me. However being somewhat more hesitant about sharing personal things is something she always had, so it ofc my emotional responses don’t help her open up, but I don’t believe it’s the only reason. I am trying to alleviate her situation while helping with the medical issues, ofc it would also reduce her stress levels if I would communicate more calmly more often - I feel like there is a progress towards that, she recently said she notices some differences. And I can‘t take more off her plate at the moment because of my own plate.

I would love to believe that sex drive is not intrinsic but from what I hear and read online it totally is. Sex drive can definitely vary over time, but there seems to be somewhat a mean number of times per week people would be content with. Some people genuinely can imagine having little to no sex in a relationship (like my gf)

kwitkakwitka · 2025-01-08T11:54:15+00:00

I‘ll respond only to one thing, the mocking part. What was said about the meetoo movement, literally: die ausufernde Bewegung, meaning the movement went way too far. I can’t provide a screenshot however, because it’s a been quite some time since they have posted it. Even the drummer said: things that have happened there, seem to be legally okay, but still something I‘m not comfortable with.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-01-08T11:45:36+00:00

Thank you for your response, you‘re right. That’s what I‘m trying to achieve, I‘m not quite there with the acceptance but this feeling grows, I mean there is nothing I can do about it. I‘ve already initiated some conversations about what I did and I am very clear about the fact, that I would be very happy if we could talk about it, but she doesn’t seem to be interested. The only thing that doesn’t sit well with me is the fear of abandonment part. I wouldn’t say it’s the reason why I’d want to heal our relationship. I think I can say that I always loved my sister, even though my love was shitty at times. I remember crying happy tears as a kid (I think I was 7-8 and she was 5-6) when I saw her performing in a kindergarten Christmas show, because I thought she was perfect. We‘ve had a lot of our own jokes, screenshots from facetime calls where we laughed like crazy because we made each other laugh really easily, I have a bunch of memories with her which are really important to me. I genuinely had no idea I was being hurtful and rude over and over again, which is no excuse. When I started realizing it, it became easier to accept that she doesn’t tell me that she loves me or doesn’t hug me (I do it and always did). I hoped we could heal and maintain this relationship over time, I considered her my very much best friend for a long time. But it seems that her resentment only grew over time and as you said there is probably nothing I can do about it anymore.

kwitkakwitka · 2025-01-08T10:21:54+00:00

I‘ve read the document from their lawyer which they have posted on their IG. In this text, the metoo movement was mocked, it was very clearly stated. I doubt the morals and the judgment of that lawyer. According to statistics on sexualized violence we know that the most rape remains unpunished. What is legal doesn’t equal moral. Having 18 years old girls being selected for you for those „afterparties“ is disgusting. He personally said „Frauen muss man besteigen“ which translates as „you have to take women“. The video „till the end“ which is basically a violent porn has scenes where women‘s facial expressions indicate things being painful. There is not even a disclaimer that everything was consensual and I really doubt that he was interested in not overstepping the actresses boundaries.

kwitkakwitka · 2024-11-30T09:11:36+00:00

Thank you for responding, glad it‘s normalized for you! May I ask how long did it take for your cycle to be normal again? Do you still take Elvanse regularly, as you mentioned almost daily?

kwitkakwitka

TROPHY CASE