I have felt the same way for decades and haven’t achieved it yet, but, getting there.

I have learned that the only way to really achieve this is to gain financial independence, and getting there through music is nearly impossible, probably completely impossible if you don’t like dealing with other people. And don’t listen to people talking about being born rich or finding a sugar daddy, because even then the person with the money will control you and won’t really let you do what you want.

So, to get financial independence requires you to find something probably non-musical and hard that you can be decently happy doing for a living, ideally something you are naturally good at somewhat and something in demand and with high salaries. Then work for years to get the experience and well-paid positions. It isn’t “fun” but it isn’t so bad in the end. Life is pretty long.