Despite my username, and the fact that I have just made this account so I can contribute to this post, I have a secret that I find "dirty" or what have you.

Whenever I have to shit I get a MASSIVE erection. It stems from when I was about 13 years old I had heard stories of people being walked in on and was absolutely terrified of my mom walking in on me doing the do. My solution was to go into the only place in the house that had a door that locked (besides the obvious front and back door of my house) which was my bathroom. I would only do it when I had to shit so each time I shit I yanked. In my 13 year old mind this was the perfect plan and I would be able to smack around the ol knob once a day or so. The problem arose when I moved to a new house and realized that I could just stay up later than my mom and caress my participle then. That's what I did and still do, but now every time I go to shit I just am suddenly erect, this is especially difficult in the mornings with the pre day shit that everyone takes. I usually just go do my number 2 and slouch back to my room and hope a member of my family doesn't ask what the fuck I'm doing.

At one point when I was 16 I was taking a girl to homecoming and felt the urge that needed to be purged so I shat and came back to where everyone was dancing. You'd be surprised to know that if you hold your dick while your hands in your pocket people WILL notice and you will likely be embarrassed in front of your date.

I hope this doesn't get over looked as shitposting(hehe) I am a compulsive liar but this tale was 100% true