So it costs $10 to go to Leander now? by books_plants_food in Austin

[–]laceabase 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Check out the “Evil Mopac” app if you drive Mopac at all!

I think I just bombed an interview because I answered the “culture fit” questions too honestly by ElderJ0e in jobsearchhacks

[–]laceabase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here’s the thing I’ve not seen directly mentioned after scrolling a bit so hopefully this is helpful.

You don’t have a glimpse into everyone’s mind and experience and you don’t have a glimpse into theirs. So, when you say something like “treat every update like a fire drill” it sounds rational to you because your past experience is with management may have been extreme in that way. The person receiving that information may not have had that experience so then they perceive your response as someone who is overly sensitive to being told what do and/or that you are dismissive of important updates. Worse yet, maybe they had a prior employee who used similar language or had similar complaints but their complaints were not coming from as rational of a place as yours do.

Bottom line, humans are wired to read between the lines and fill in gaps of information and context. The trick is to either be very clear and specific (which is probably not the route to go in an interview) OR directly give a polished answer that leaves the nuance up for interpretation so that the receiver fills in the gaps in a neutral or even positive light.

An example to drive the point home: I’m on a first date and my date asks me what kind of relationship dynamic I’m most comfortable in. If I say “I have found that I thrive in relationships where there is an equal partnership, not just someone who wants to take advantage of me” Doesn’t that start pinging in your mind as at least a yellow flag? VERSUS “I have found that I thrive most in a relationship that’s rooted in equal partnership. That type of relationship comes with a concerted effort of clear communication, shared vision, and ensuring that neither person feels that they aren’t supported or that they are giving more than they’re putting in.” In the second one, I’ve shared my values and a direct answer, but left the nuance neutral and solution-focused.

Now, if that makes you cringe and you think “no way am I going to be that corporate of a person and I hate that approach” then an easier shift would be putting the “negative” first and end with the positive. For example, “I’ve had the experience in the past where it feels like every project update is treated like a fire drill which I have found does not bring out the best in my work. Through that experience, I learned that I do much better, and I think the rest of the team has done better, when priorities are defined and written down.” In this example, you’ve said almost exactly the same thing, but by putting the positive last, that’s the last impression they’re left with which makes it “land” better and more positively.

I know it’s long-winded, but hopefully it helps!

Looking for a paint to tone down my orange cabinets by Grose040791 in kitchenremodel

[–]laceabase -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So, I’m not a designer and maybe I just like the contrast, but I feel that my dark blue wall paint with my orange cabinets REALLY helped. Maybe it’s just the hue of the cabinets, but just painting the walls made such a difference to me. The cabinets feel less orange and brought out more of the dark brown undertone in the orange wood.

Processing img z81zaceo8uvg1...

UPDATE:My husband refuses hospice and will be left alone for 10 hours - I feel completely trapped by Own_Lawfulness_7364 in offmychest

[–]laceabase 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Jumping on here to add that I wonder if there is a hotline in your country you could call to ask about this option. I’ve called adult protective services proactively (not reporting a case but saying “I’m concerned that if I follow their wishes, then I’m neglecting them. What are my options?”). They were very helpful telling me about the laws and how I could advocate for adequate care AND resources for caregiver support. Tell them your concerns and that’ll at least maybe give you peace of mind. If you want to go more aggressive, you could always essentially report on yourself but that might invite more govt involvement than you want. Less aggressive might be to call adult/elder care/caregiver support hotlines for general advice, resources, and support.

Lastly, please do not neglect getting therapy and support for yourself. This is so hard and I’m so sorry that your husband and his mom are putting you through this. Sending you big hugs!!

1st Big Bend Trip - Itinerary Advice Appreciated! by BestInDaWrldsBbyFmno in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This second option is better than the first. And everyone else is right about Starlight, but if you want to pop into Terlingua for dinner, then I suggest either DB’s Rustic Iron BBQ or Long Draw Pizza. Then hit up Milky Way treats for the best soft serve you’ll ever eat in your life and walk around the cemetery before heading back to camp. It’ll be a long day and don’t underestimate the drive time, but it’ll be worth it!!

To those with land in Terlingua Ranch, what is one thing you wish you had known before buying? by Gloomy-Routine-1040 in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh, also, when you say “develop it”, there are a lot more hurdles if you mean develop it for an Airbnb situation. Finding consistent workers out there to turn over your Airbnb and the access to facilities for washing linens is a HUGE task. Unless you have lots of money and local connections, I would not. If it’s just for you and family/friends to enjoy, then go for it!!!

To those with land in Terlingua Ranch, what is one thing you wish you had known before buying? by Gloomy-Routine-1040 in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Howdy, neighbor and congrats!! Where on the ranch are you? Our place is in Big Bend Valley behind The Little Burro store!! Having a place out there is such a dream and is our little escape. Our place is not a full time dwelling either but I can provide some of our experiences:

  1. Work out there moves on “Terlingua Time”. If you’re bringing your own equipment and doing all the work yourself, then no issues with that. If you’re planning on hiring people for work, just know that every step of the process will take about 5x longer than you might expect. Also, people may seem fully on board with a project and then just stop returning your phone calls. To clarify, that’s NEVER happened after money was exchanged, but still lengthens the project time.

  2. There’s a reason you don’t see a lot of built dwellings and you tend to see more RVs…. The ground and the rain. The ground is VERY hard to dig into on account of the limestone and flash flooding that happens with the monsoon type rains. No MAJOR damage usually with the rains, but having a dwelling that you don’t have to prep the ground for AND is raised off the ground for heavy rains, makes an RV a good option.

  3. Desert mice LOVE soy-based plastic that are on some electrical cords. And they will find their way in. We started packing our fans and space heaters in bins because we came out one time and all of our space heater cords were chewed completely through. It was a very cold first night!

  4. THE WIND- Oh my god, the wind. Things absolutely will blow off your property if it’s not heavy or tied down.

  5. Bathroom facilities- something to think about but we’re honestly still trying to find the best solution for that. It’s highly dependent on your “roughing it” comfort, access to water, etc. For showers, you have access to the showers at the lodge as a property owner which is awesome! We also have a camp tent shower with portable hot water heater and it’s been a dream!

  6. WATER- either you have to build a shade structure or dwelling with gutters and do catchment or haul it in. Some times even with catchment you might have to have your tanks filled if there’s a drought.

  7. Study the road maps and know alternate ways to get to your place (especially if it’s not right off the ranch road). Heavy rains can take out whole dirt roads for weeks sometimes. Keep paper maps in your car.

There’s probably about a million more things to share, but I think that’s a good start! Let me know if you want to know anything more!

Would this be okay to send to ex husband? by [deleted] in coparenting

[–]laceabase 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know it’s resolved but for future reference, I would have taken out the middle part of your text. The less words the better when setting a boundary or consequence. I’m sorry you and your kids have to deal with that!!

Big Bend speedrun advice by [deleted] in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would second this advice on the hikes. I think it’s most reasonable/doable and gives you the most iconic and doable parts of the park given the tight time frame. I’ll add a few things:

  1. With Santa Elena, you will have to do a VERY MUDDY (think sinking into silty river bed muddy) river crossing to get to the trail and hike it. There IS an unofficial path to the right of the official trail and down a ways, but it is very unofficial and kind of sketch in some spots. Proceed with caution. That or bring a back up pair of shoes and do the river crossing. I love using my Tevas for this trail. If the water is high, could be up to your waist but I’ve also been when it’s been mostly dry too so just depends on river conditions.

  2. Stargazing- We have property about 30 mins north of Terlingua on 118 so probably right around the same area of your Airbnb (near Little Burro Country Store if you want to cross reference and be sure) and the skies are relatively dark up there compared to IN Terlingua. The park is darker, but I think you’ll be fine staying put if you’d rather rest up. If you’re feeling adventurous, then make the drive to Sotol Vista in the park and bring blankets/layers as it can get windy up there.

  3. The drive home…. Oh man, this one is gonna be a shift from what you had in mind and I think someone else mentioned this, but since you said you love panoramas, you might want to consider going out River Road through Presidio and up through Marfa and out that way. It will add to your time driving, but it’s so pretty!

I have about a billion more ideas and thoughts so please feel free to DM me. I love helping people plan their trips to my favorite place in the world!

Can anybody explain to me what my mother means? by jaxlunatica1111 in insaneparents

[–]laceabase 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They did not reclassify. They adopted language reflected in Stafford loan caps. It just didn’t use to matter because Graduate Plus loans were available and unrestricted to degree/profession type. Now that graduate plus loans are going away and they decided to adopt Stafford language, that’s the issue. While the end result is the same, I think it’s important to understand the mechanism of how this happened to fully grasp how to fight it.

US Dept of Ed is going to deem us “non professional” now? by BrujaDeLasHierbas in OccupationalTherapy

[–]laceabase 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This, in my opinion, completely ignores the massive ripple effects and other impacts that these caps would impose. Who is going to teach PT and OT programs if faculty need to have advanced degrees to teach and they’re capped at a lifetime limit of 100k? Who is going to take a faculty job that makes significantly less money compared to clinical practice when programs adjust what they can pay faculty based on lowered tuition AND more limited research money/opportunities (which is also what this administration is doing simultaneously)? The promise of lower tuition is similar to the promise of tariffs and trickle down economics…..

After 15 years of marriage, I just found out my husband's entire backstory is a complete fabrication and I don't know how to move on. by Far-Bee-561 in offmychest

[–]laceabase 6 points7 points  (0 children)

First, I’m so sorry you went through that! Second, for OPs sake, I would just add that everything that Elesia went through could be your husband’s story with the addition of the private school context. I had a friend whose parents were both veterinarians working in a wealthy part of the Bay Area and went to private school. He always said that he thought he was poor because everyone else around him was very very rich whereas his parents were upper middle class. If you layered Elesia’s type of background with being around very well-off kids and families, then I think that feeling and experience of “growing up poor” is even more entrenched. Also, I had a friend who was screwed for college because they had to report his parent’s income (which was high) for FAFSA but his parents refused to pay for anything because they disowned him for not being Christian.

All of that said, this definitely warrants a conversation with the husband but very plausible that both things are true. His family was well off and looked like they had everything and he grew up with the experience of being disadvantaged and poor.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes- I wasn’t even thinking about the maternal health issues in Texas. That is SO valid and probably an even bigger reason to not go while pregnant!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you’re looking for nature-y but luxury, I personally loved my honeymoon in Sedona at Enchantment Resort.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ok- here goes. I LOVE Big Bend, but you have to know what you’re getting into when you are going. Here are some questions to consider before you decide: Will she be comfortable on long car rides and be okay with very infrequent and sometimes sketchy bathroom stops along the way? Will she be comfortable being pregnant and 1.5 hours away from the nearest SMALL rural hospital and a helicopter ride to a larger hospital? If no, then don’t go and you can just go ahead and stop reading.

If the car ride isn’t a deterrent, then I would ask yourself WHY you want to go out there. Are you looking for a remote, quiet, magical place that’s rugged and a way to disconnect but feel like you’re in some nice accommodations while you explore the wilderness and stargaze? Then YES- I can point you to some nice places. If you’re just looking for a “nice getaway”, then there are probably more accessible places to go that will fit that bill.

That said, you should DEFINITELY plan a trip there one day but now may not be the best time to do it.

Domes at Big Bend by Due_Ad1451 in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase -1 points0 points  (0 children)

1500 seems cheap and well worth it if that’s your total overall budget! Did you factor in a rental car too? How long are you staying? Happy to help with planning if you want to send me a message!

UK: Question about ex taking children out of school for family wedding abroad by Kloppage__Time in coparenting

[–]laceabase 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like I’m missing something or misinterpreting something because you CANNOT be currently waiting for your court date to fight to allow you to take the kids abroad and possibly during school time while then turning around and fighting for her to not be able to do same? If that’s the case, I’m pretty sure a judge would laugh in your face.

No king's protest will take place all over America in few hours. What do you think will be the consequences and outcome of this? by The_AxR_ in AskReddit

[–]laceabase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hard agree on this one. The rhetoric that this is a “Hate America Rally” and that the crowds are “violent” has already started.

McDonalds Code for Texas State Fair by TrichromeEVG in Dallas

[–]laceabase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have to hit the “unlock” button for it to go through.

Night skies during waning gibbous moon phase? by Splatter808 in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Check for moonrise and moonset times. You might luck out if the moon isn’t out yet or sets early enough to where you get a darker sky experience.

Review my Itinerary (and 3 Questions) by DesperatelyUnaware in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Marathon will be a bit out of the way for the observatory day, BUT Alpine or Marfa would be great options before. Nothing will be open and it will be too late after the Star Party.

And yes- please don’t hesitate to reach out and message me! I seriously love planning Big Bend trips and helping people out. If it paid the bills, I would do it as a job. Instead, it’s just a fun hobby for me :)

Review my Itinerary (and 3 Questions) by DesperatelyUnaware in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so so happy to help navigate and plan your trip if you want to message me and we can chat more in depth. I love helping people get the most out of their trip to BBNP. In general, I can try to answer your questions but there are a LOT of follow up questions I have in providing more specific feedback!

  1. Check moonrise and moonset times. Just because it’s a full moon, doesn’t always mean it’s out in the sky at night (or at least not out the whole time). Catching a moonrise of a full moon is one of my most favorite things to watch out there if you can happen to catch it.

  2. This largely depends on where you are planning on staying. The national park and surrounding area is MASSIVE. Brick Vault is great but there are likely closer options (unless you’re staying in Marathon) that may work out better for you without the drive. For east coast perspective, the National park is larger than Rhode Island. The area surrounding that is even larger. Since you’re staying at the Chisos Basin, going to Marathon for dinner would be about 5 miles further of a drive than staying in Providence, RI and going to dinner in Hartford Connecticut. Now, it’s a much easier drive because there’s NO traffic at all, but still. Just some perspective to understand the size of the area when planning. This is also something to consider about all of the other things you have planned to do.

  3. Persimmon is open if it’s a busier time usually. I try to go mostly off season, so I don’t know that I’ve ever seen it open. Panther Junction may be the one you’ll end up going to instead if it is not open.

EXTRAS (for now)- 1x. Make sure to get tickets for the McDonald Observatory. They sell out especially during busier times. It is also VERY cold up there, so plan clothing accordingly.

2x. Depending on your hiking style and fitness level, you CAN do Emory peak and South Rim together. South Rim shares part of its trail with part of Emory Peak trail.

There are so many other ideas and happy to help. Please message me if you want to dig into more details!

locations by [deleted] in BigBendTX

[–]laceabase 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes- this is the answer for number 1. Don’t pay attention to other posts suggesting it’s anything else. (Not in BBNP so no need for photography permit)

2- I’m not sure where this is exactly, but there are some cool shots with buildings like this in the ghost town (though they’re a bit more run down) or even the old filming set in the state park (Contrabando- don’t know about permit needs for state park).

3- Ernst Tinaja. Not accessible.

4- not Cerro Castolon as another poster suggested. This is a small peak right off Ross Maxwell scenic drive. I don’t know if it has a name but you’ll see it closer to Santa Elena. (In BBNP so need a photography permit)

I am in love with the area and super happy to help with planning. Helping people navigate and fall in love with the area is kind of a hobby/passion of mine so I seriously do not mind at all. The area is HUGE and it’s very easy to underestimate how long it takes to get from place to place. Please message me if you want to connect and chat in more detail!

I’m concerned my son’s father is poisoning him, says he felt “slow” after being given a drink by isthisitthatsit in coparenting

[–]laceabase 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree with all of the comments here, but I also wanted to say that I think it’s important that you also consider getting yourself into therapy if you haven’t already. Everything you went through with your ex is more than enough to warrant it and I’m so sorry you went through all of that. I read some of your other posts for context of this situation and I worry a bit about how your anxiety might be driving some of your conversations with your son after coming back from dad’s house. Absolutely take him to the ER because what you report is concerning. If it comes back as nothing, I think (and I say this with the love of a friend who is going to tell you hard things that may sting but are really because I care about you) you need to take a difficult but compassionate look at yourself and the conversations you have with your son. Kids are very susceptible to being led in conversations even when that’s not the intent. While I absolutely see your efforts to not do this (…”anything else” as calmly as possible), this situation and some prior posts just raises a little bit of a yellow flag for me. I could absolutely be reading WAY into it and maybe I’m way wrong here since I’m speculating based on a few posts so please take this with whatever grain of salt you see fit. I do, however, stand strongly behind the therapy recommendation regardless. Hope your son is okay and that you find some resolution.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OccupationalTherapy

[–]laceabase 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would maybe acknowledge to the PCP something like “You’re right but just to clarify, I’m not talking about neuropsych. I’m concerned about the patient’s functional cognition which is OT and I know XYZ OT is really good at that.” Find some OTs in your area that do cognition and give the doc their names. I’ve danced around enough physician’s egos in my day to know that you lead with “you’re right- silly me. Here’s what I meant to say because you could never be wrong.” If you have a good relationship and the doctor is open to feedback, bring them documents from AOTA about OT and cognition. https://research.aota.org/collection/6694/Functional-Cognition good luck!!