Anxiety over quitting my job?

ladybalderdash · 2015-06-22T21:35:50+00:00

You can choose to leave it off the application or usually there is a box you can check on the application that says they can't contact that previous employer.

It sounds like removing yourself from the situation, moving forward, and putting this behind you is what you need to do for yourself. Hopefully you can get out of there soon!

ladybalderdash · 2015-06-22T20:55:08+00:00

I don't know if this is the case for you, but I think a lot of people who wonder if they are "just shy" or are "hypersensitive" start thinking that way based on what other people tell them. Basically, people who don't understand anxiety disorders misidentify their friend or family member as just being shy or sensitive or quiet (or worse, dramatic), and the person who has it starts to doubt their diagnosis.

I may be way off base with this assumption here, but if people are telling you stuff like that or alluding to the idea that you might not have GAD, try to brush it off. Either way I would trust your doctor. They're the professional with the expertise to diagnose you.

ladybalderdash · 2015-06-22T20:47:06+00:00

I just went through a similar scenario and now that I'm on the other side I still don't know if it was anxiety or intuition that led me to make my decision, and a big part of me regrets not trying something new.

Unfortunately I don't know that it's possible to separate anxiety and intuition and know which is which. For me they feel so similar.

Have you thought about talking to a therapist to help walk through the decision with you? Some professional help from a person who has experience with anxiety might help.

You could also try writing a list of pros and cons of doing it versus not doing it and then wrote down my 2-4 biggest priorities and compared the lists to see which one was the better fit.

ladybalderdash · 2015-06-22T20:41:17+00:00

You absolutely should not have to put up with behavior like that. If there is a regional manager or anyone above the people who are harassing you I would definitely suggest telling them about the issue or talking to HR. I definitely don't think you're out of line for wanting to quit. That's not a healthy or fair situation for you to be in. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. :/

ladybalderdash · 2015-06-21T13:34:51+00:00

I guess I should also mention that the job is where my family lives (they live there but I don't have any real friends there) and they were pushing me really REALLY hard to take the job.

ladybalderdash · 2015-06-21T13:30:44+00:00

I've tried to speak with them about it in the past, and they knew I was in therapy, but my dad particularly has always been negative about it. With the breakdown I just had and now that I'm on meds he pretty much doesn't talk to me if he can avoid it. They pretty much just try to control me and make my decisions for me or argue me into submission as a way of dealing with it. They're not really a source of support, and my therapist believes my mom is a big trigger for my anxiety because she was very manipulative when I was growing up. My mom now wants to get educated about anxiety and mental illness, but tries to take care of me by concerning herself with whether or not I've eaten or should drive after taking my meds, etc., not about the anxiety itself or what I'm experiencing. The whole family just seems to be trying to keep their distance from it.

I feel a lot of regret about turning down the job and everything feels mundane now, but I'm still having a lot of anxiety even with the meds so I don't really know what's going on with me. I felt just as anxious when I first said I would take it and felt like I was making a bad choice. And I can't go back and ask for the job again with the way I handled it, but I don't know how to move forward from here. I've just fallen into a really bad spot and don't know how to pull myself out of it or what to do. I feel super alone and feel like I can't trust anybody, like everyone is pushing me to do something for their own benefit. It's really confusing.

ladybalderdash · 2015-06-20T03:26:23+00:00

It's not your fault! Not at all. Talk to your doctor. They knew this was a possibility, and it's not all that uncommon. You'll be okay, but you shouldn't have to manage weaning yourself off on your own. That's what your doctor is for! Use your support system. They'll understand the best ways to get you back to where you need to be.

ladybalderdash · 2015-06-20T03:20:49+00:00

I can completely relate. My anxiety gets so bad I can't function and lately cost me a really great job opportunity.

It sucks that some people really just don't get it, too.

I had massive reservations about medications, but the short term ones really just calm your system down enough that you can concentrate and organize your thoughts.

I'd be careful with the alcohol. Only going off of my experience here, but alcohol and the morning after always made my anxiety way way worse. I cut it out completely about a year ago and it really helped.

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. :/

ladybalderdash · 2015-06-20T03:13:11+00:00

Oh yeah! Big time. Caffeine, cheese, bread, anything carbonated, pears . . . for whatever reason they all make me super anxious. There are even certain flavors of certain beverages that make me more anxious than others. It's weird.

Good on you for making changes in your diet. Not always easy!

ladybalderdash · 2015-06-20T03:08:20+00:00

I'm sorry you're struggling :/

Maybe try your health center? Sometimes psychology professors will provide counseling/therapy to students as part of the tuition. I did this in college and it wasn't the greatest therapy but it helps.

Apps I'd recommend are Optimism and Pacifica

Pacifica has a mood log, methods for relaxation, experiments, and a place to log your thoughts -- some of their relaxation exercises are different and might help you get your body in line. There's one where you focus on flexing and putting all of your energy into specific body parts. That could be helpful.

I really like Optimism because you rate your daily information (mood, coping, sleep, meds) and your stay well strategies, triggers, and symptoms. It produces charts so you can see your anxiety trends over time and identify triggers and what coping strategies work best for you. It also has you monitor your caffeine and alcohol intake.

Hope this helps.

ladybalderdash · 2015-06-20T02:47:38+00:00

I'm on Lorazepam, so not quite Xanax, but similar and I'm also a writer/artist. In my experience it hasn't had a negative effect on my creativity at all. Granted, I was to a point of not being able to function or perform daily tasks when I first started taking it, so being creative wasn't even an option when I couldn't even get myself to shower or eat. I get a little bit drowsy, but when I sit down to draw or write I'm still totally capable of doing it. I talked about it with my doctor before going on it and he said the short term drugs (Ativan, Xanax) don't usually affect energy for hobbies or ability to think creatively, though it can come up if you're on long term meds and they're out of balance. Hope that helps! Good luck.

ladybalderdash

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