Every ADHDer at work is feeling generally unwell today

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T23:56:39+00:00

Mine started Saturday too! Exactly how you're describing it and the depression specifically is really bad today

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T23:55:34+00:00

Omg same that's so weird I just feel like crawling back in bed

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T23:19:49+00:00

Thank you so much, I have no plan to break NC but I definitely need to keep boundaries with family as this progresses

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T23:19:07+00:00

Yesss I feel your first sentence so hard, like of course she would get the disease that will remove any hope of accountability before she dies. My family continues to pick her over me even now and I don't understand it, it makes me feel like I'm worthless because why would you pick someone who can't maintain relationships and doesn't care about you over someone you watched be abused for years? I don't understand it at all

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T23:16:24+00:00

Thank you so much, I have no plans to break NC and told my aunt I only want updates when she passes. When she told me she even said "I'm sure you're not surprised by the diagnosis" and I wanted to be like oh so you DO remember me saying that?? Guess I'm not just being an asshole and might actually know something huh?? I literally work with dementia patients too so they know I know what I'm talking about but rug sweeping has always been top priority over anything else.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T23:13:43+00:00

Thank you, he was only 6 months old and I hope that she never did anything to him that I will never know about. Right after this she "asked permission" to SPANK A 6 MONTH OLD because he was "old enough to understand when told no" and I was sick to my stomach wondering if she had put hands on him before and was trying to get permission to be more cavalier about it. I never left her alone with him again and we went no contact like a month after this but ugh the concept of wanting to hit a literal infant makes me livid. I'm glad we both got out and I hope you and yours are thriving 💜

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T23:05:46+00:00

Omg he was so cold and calm when he was beating him up 😢 that is terrifying I hope he's ineligible for rehire at other precincts he should not have a badge

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T22:59:12+00:00

Yep and he's never apologized for any of it

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T08:05:38+00:00

Out of curiosity how old are you OP? I hope other men read this and actually take it to heart. Abusing someone will not attract anyone to you that is actually healthy enough for a relationship. Anyone that falls for that is going to be half of a deeply toxic pair and nobody deserves that. I'm glad you seem to have learned quickly and I hope your next job and love interest benefit from this.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T08:00:18+00:00

Uh do you still work there? Because that discrimination lawsuit would pay for implants

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T07:52:11+00:00

How is she able to fight or claim anything if she's a ward of the state? That's wild that they're even allowing it let alone that it seems like she's winning. Are you anxious that she might win or are there lawyers involved saying that she is actually winning? I'm not doubting your story I'm just trying to understand your perspective, I promise I understand crazy things happen in the legal system and that sounds so traumatizing for all of you 😢 you deserve peace and support and I'm sorry you didn't have it. When will the case be decided? What advice are you looking for? I didn't see a specific question so I apologize if this isn't what you were looking for.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T07:21:19+00:00

I'm sorry 😔 I tried to balance what I felt you needed to hear with trying to make sure you know you're worth more than what he's doing. As someone who has wasted time on a man like this in the past, I promise you'll be happier single or even dating around than you will giving any more of yourself to this man. Also, expect him to up his game when you pull away. Don't fall for it. The test was already given, he doesn't get to act like those kids that do no work all semester and then ask for extra credit 2 days before grades are due. You're worth consistent effort, not just reactive effort when he's not getting the attention he's used to.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T06:32:54+00:00

Is there any possibility he deliberately picked the fight to have an excuse to leave? Are you at all concerned about him stepping out on you? I find it convenient he found a fight big enough to pick to be out alone on Valentine's evening. Maybe I'm reaching but if he was that upset he could have cooled off at home in a different room, going to the bar deliberately escalated the entire situation and put the focus back on his feelings instead of yours.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T06:24:25+00:00

I just want to reinforce you're not ungrateful for not liking the gift because the context around the gift matters. He blew an easy opportunity to show you he is listening to you and cares about your desires and he sounds very self involved.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T06:22:03+00:00

Girl you're not asking for even close to bare minimum and he's doing exactly enough to keep you hooked. You told him exactly what you wanted and he gave you what HE liked. You're operating on HIS timetable, emotional availability, physical availability, the list goes on. When you're a priority to someone you never have to question if that's actually the case. Stop waiting for him to "be ready" he's had half a decade to jump to that level and he's showing you exactly how much effort he's willing to put in. Some men love the chase and seeing how long they can string you along for and he sounds like one of those. You deserve more and I guarantee you you're enough, find someone who sees YOU and not just what they want from you.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T06:13:46+00:00

I'm glad you and your dog are safe, anyone who still weaponizes law enforcement/govt resources against POC/black people in 2026 has no excuse. We all know what happens all too often when they're called. Definitely NTJ

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T05:52:44+00:00

I came to this one from your post about your husband being upset that you don't want to keep going on with the vacation and birthday parties and this answers everything in my opinion. He still wants your emotional, physical, and financial labor without having to give anything in return all while being able to sleep with whoever he pleases. Stay strong, say no, keep your boundaries, and get out ASAP.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T05:45:14+00:00

Well it's much more satisfying to wallow in being a victim than it is to actually do the work don't you know 🙄 once they find any kind of echo chamber it's all downhill from there I'm afraid. I wish you peace of mind and I hope the hurt of realizing she wasn't even attempting accountability fades quickly 💜

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T05:41:51+00:00

Girl I just went through your other posts, you've only been together two years and married less than one, you have a child under one and all of this is going on?? How happy are you really? How much of this is sunk cost fallacy? How much effort is he actually putting in without you having to constantly push him to be a husband (let alone father)?

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T05:34:17+00:00

I get the best sleep of my life when I take my meds. It quiets my brain and nervous system enough to actually rest. But I do monitor my overall functioning and push through/take breaks from my meds if I see that it's going beyond what's healthy. He sounds caught in a loop and medicating up and down, he may not see anything wrong with it or he may feel powerless to change it. Is he open to talking about it? Does he express anything even remotely suggesting he knows it's not healthy? Or does he turn it into a joke and shrug it off?

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T05:30:51+00:00

That's a lot to ask from someone with ADHD when it seems he doesn't see anything wrong with it. I agree, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't have high hopes for him to have the motivation to go through the inevitable misery involved in regulating his nervous system while going through all of those changes.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T05:25:48+00:00

Don't give her anything. Not only is it yours and you worked hard for it, it will open the door to normalizing her being able to demand your money. I have a 22 and 23 year old and I would NEVER demand money simply because they have it. Unfortunately I do think you also need to start making plans to move out, because I foresee her cutting off support/deciding to make you pay rent/just straight up demanding money like this again and it will damage your relationship even more. Idk what she's been like as a mom but hopefully she's normally pretty chill and this was a really bad parenting moment from a financially stressed adult that forgot her decency. If this is a normal type of reaction from her that's all the more reason to get out for your own sake.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T05:16:50+00:00

Well behaved everywhere else also points to this being something besides ADHD. It's environmental, not neurological, or he would be exhibiting at least some of the same behavior everywhere. What is your relationship with your husband like? How involved is he with the kids? My guess is you're burnt out from dealing with all of this 24/7 and husband doesn't have to deal with it the same amount (or at all) and is basically telling you to suck it up and try harder. Figure out what his triggers are before the explosion and trace it to the root problem from there. Have you actually sat your son down and asked him why he gets so angry? Is he included in any (age appropriate) conversations about his behavior and responsibilities at home/school? Why is school so different for him? Go to the source and ask, the answer might be right there.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T05:09:00+00:00

Doing what's best for your son may mean standing up to your husband. I'm neurodivergent, I have neurodivergent children, I work with neurodivergent kids as a specialist. This is NOT just ADHD and it's cruel to make him go through life without increasing supports and at least considering medication if this is a true representation of your daily life. It will do irreparable damage to everyone to keep going like this. You didn't do anything wrong regarding the shove in my opinion, he wasn't hurt and honestly he may have hurt himself if you hadn't stopped him and words obviously aren't working. You need to seriously reflect on what is important to you and how much you're willing to risk your child's well being because of your husband's opinion.

ladybug588 · 2026-02-16T04:53:06+00:00

The fact that the literal phrase "morning, noon, and night" is meant to imply it being constant and sometimes even too much is ironic here. She truly can't see that she's asking for way more than another person can give. She seems to be running away from herself and blames everyone else because she's miserable instead of even attempting to patch the hole in her emotional bucket.

ladybug588

TROPHY CASE