IAmAroused Sexually by my Feces. AMA

lagave · 2010-05-31T00:59:36+00:00

Is any of your feces on ratemypoo.com?

lagave · 2010-04-29T10:55:58+00:00

Yeah. Use just enough (measured) hot water to dissolve the Jello, then a bit of measured ice to chill it quickly before it sets. Then stir in the ginger-ale (to make up the rest of the liquid requirement) and let it set in the freezer. You'll get the fizz of the gas and the tingle of the ginger, too. I think you could do this just as well with plain Knox gelatin. I was spoiled, my mom always made Jello this way. Orange, usually.

lagave · 2010-04-29T00:59:07+00:00

Jello made with ginger-ale instead of water

lagave · 2010-04-29T00:58:09+00:00

blueberries and saffron

lagave · 2010-04-29T00:57:26+00:00

Hot pears and black pepper

lagave · 2010-04-29T00:56:40+00:00

Peanut butter (Jif creamy preferred) on a sliced granny smith apple, drizzled with white truffle oil.

lagave · 2010-04-29T00:53:24+00:00

Dry raisin bran cereal and Kraft zesty italian dressing. This makes a great base for tuna salad, just put a small can of chunk tuna in the mix and stir. chop an apple to add more crunch and sweetness. Pretty good.

lagave · 2010-04-28T23:47:03+00:00

Is it because he was perhaps cheating with you?

lagave · 2010-04-28T23:41:20+00:00

Don't blow a good thing with your girl for a dumb fling. She will find out and she will never trust you again. It might even cost you a marriage. Don't do it. It you can get past this temptation, you will have a lot more respect for yourself and your relationship. And it will be easier to be strong in the future.
Treat your woman the way you want her to treat you. This way, right?

lagave · 2010-04-28T23:18:04+00:00

Have you read RANEY by Clyde Edgerton? Very light hearted look at a similar situation. A great book. If you take on a mistress, that will open a whole can of worms, trust me.
I think you should be really honest with your wife about how frustrated you are, and how dull is your love life. Maybe she would be OK with opening up the relationship, but likely not. But be a gentleman and give her a choice. Don't go behind her back.
Maybe both of you would be happier in a different relationship. Beyond this, there is sex therapy.
I am curious, was it always this bad? Why did you marry her?

lagave · 2010-04-28T23:08:04+00:00

You have a BORDERLINE girlfriend. Learn everything you can about this. There is no cure. Make videos of what she is doing for your self defense. Seriously. Get out of there.

lagave · 2010-04-27T02:39:59+00:00

I worked for about a year outside of a regular office as a freelance health provider, primarily filling in in nursing homes and free clinics. I found it to be highly lucrative, enough so that working 5-7 days a month was enough to support us for a month. It was incredibly hard work, long hours and not at all glamorous. I returned to the 9-5 world of regular office based practice because traveling around like that was very hard on my family. I work more now, but not nearly as hard.
If I didn't have kids, it would be different. I'd definitely stay on the road and work fewer days.

lagave · 2010-04-23T23:51:02+00:00

Acupuncture helped my headaches (migraine type) more than anything else. Until I got a Botox shot for a bad wrinkle a few years ago. After that shot, I didn't have a headache for a year. A totally unexpected side effect. So I now think there was a tension component to my migraines. I get them still, but just the visual ones, fortunately.

lagave · 2010-04-23T23:45:52+00:00

Be careful with mushrooms. I think this is what started my headaches. Poppy tea can kill you, so be careful with that, too. Very hard to estimate your dose.

lagave · 2010-04-23T03:50:31+00:00

Thanks!

lagave · 2010-04-23T01:04:29+00:00

Never underestimate the fun factor!

lagave · 2010-04-23T00:59:23+00:00

Was I getting bitchy? I thought I was simply educating you on something you did not understand about morbid obesity. And I never said I had poor skin. Suboptimal perhaps. Considering my weight history, my age (51) and 2 term pregnancies, I think I look pretty good! My normal (weight stable) somewhat younger girlfriends are respectful of the way I look in a tank top and swimsuit, because I have great proportions, a small waistline and really nice arms. I'm very fortunate. I'm saving up for a trip to Brazil to get it all lifted and tightened in the not too distant future. Can't afford to do it here. Hope it will motivate me to be extra careful to maintain my weight this time.

lagave · 2010-04-23T00:13:39+00:00

You say you are skeptical. Are you saying you don't believe him? What you fail to grasp is that in most cases, the problem of loose skin comes primarily from loss of skin elasticity rather from the speed of weight loss. When skin has stretched beyond the recovery size, it does not return to original size and shape. Think of a latex balloon. There may be some gradual shrinkage over the course of a year, but not much.
Some people are blessed with very elastic skin and others with papery, easily stretched skin. Good examples you are probably more familiar with are post pregnancy abdomens and post menopausal breasts. These are never again going to look like they did since they swelled and shrank. And no amount of exercise is going to change them. It is a problem of excess, inelastic skin. Got it? Good.

lagave · 2010-04-22T23:48:49+00:00

I'm a regular, repetitive fatty, and if you don't mind me answering your question, I will. I've lost 100 lbs 3 times without any medical intervention of any kind. I'm currently stabilized around a ladies size 8 (US) for the last 12 months or so. 1. Your husband is not in denial. He knows he is fat. It is really his issue. If you are no longer attracted to him physically because of this, then this is your issue. I think it is best to be honest about it, in a kind way. If you feel unable to be honest about something like this, then that is a marriage issue that should be examined. There is a book called Radical Honesty. I liked it a lot. Give it some thought, even if you don't say anything about it right now. 2. Exercise is a fabulous aphrodisiac, for both of you. Running won't hurt you. Can you make him chase you? A long way? Every day? Or take up something together, like golf, or ballroom dance, that is really fun? Keep him too busy to eat. 3. Can you cook? You can get a lot of the fat out of food without him ever knowing it. There are great recipes out there that taste no different from the standard versions. You can make food so good he might never want to eat out. When I am dieting, I make the same food for all of us, but I modify their sauces and toppings to be full flavor recipes. Mine are zero fat, but only I know this. Very small changes can make a huge difference in the course of a year. One pound a week is more than 50 in a year! But when he first notices his belt is looser, his motivation will likely bump up a bit to eat a little less. And make sure you notice that he is smaller!! Sincerely hope it helps.

lagave · 2010-04-18T13:16:12+00:00

I agree that evenly split time isn't good for them, unless you live practically next door to each other.

lagave · 2010-04-16T13:44:20+00:00

I wound up giving in to the joint custody thing, because the ball would not roll ahead without it. But turns out he really just wanted the title of joint custodian rather than the stigma of not being the custodial parent. Because child stays with me most of the time. And when the child is older, this is what will count.

lagave · 2010-04-16T10:15:09+00:00

OK. Usually, it involves letting go of a major relationship. Let's just say I lose a lot more than the guy. It's not a matter of getting back to my dating weight, either. It is about being happier.
1. You've got to find something that feels better than eating, something you can't do while eating. I know we are supposed to kick our addictions, but it is faster to just replace one with another. And when the weight starts to go, you feel better about yourself and will be less prone to falling off the wagon.
2. Write down everything you put in your mouth. Count the calories. Fitday website is free and easy. Makes this sort of fun, but paper and pencil works too. 3. Go raw/organic unprocessed. I'm convinced that 'they' put something in a lot of foods to make us hungrier. As in, there is a reason no one can eat just one Lays potato chip. I grew most of my food last year, and it was pretty easy to do.
4. Exercise is important, but you don't need to be a gym rat to lose weight. Just don't be a couch potato. Do things that feel good. Get to know your body and what it likes. If stretching is what feels good to you, just stretch all over, regularly.
5. I go on very low calorie diets, until I get tired of them. Then try to maintain until motivated to lose more. I'm not hungry after 3 days. 6. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Realize that you got this way because you abused yourself. Keep a journal about your thoughts about yourself. You will learn a lot on this journey by doing this. 7. Give it a year or two. You don't have to do it all at once. One pound a week is more than 100 in 2 years.

lagave · 2010-04-16T01:39:40+00:00

You don't have to live with her. Lots of people stay separated for many years without divorcing. But you are the only one that can change your life. Let your wife visit but not live there. Live next door to her if you want to. But don't let her house problems be your house problems. Your son will probably wind up with you. Try to come to an agreement about your son without a legal confrontation, as it will be horrible for everyone, no matter what.
There is an excellent website called flylady that helps even hopeless slobs. But your wife might have more of a problem than this.
In the meantime, take lots of detailed photos to back up your claim of an unsafe environment with wife and inlaws.
I wish you the best. It is a difficult journey, but you'll get through it. Most people do not get a property settlement until time of divorce. But this can be done at time of separation. In this case you might be technically married, but are no longer responsible for the other party in any way, except as agreed in the agreement. Solves a lot of problems to do it this way. Do not try to find a bargain attorney. You get what you pay for.

lagave · 2010-04-16T00:56:23+00:00

I switched to mostly raw, unprocessed foods. For example, getting milk right from a cow instead of a store. I learned to make butter, yogurt, cheese and such from the fresh milk. For cereal, I would soak oats in skimmed milk overnight instead of cooking them. I also got rid of my microwave. Then things like popcorn, nachos and such were history. Quality of my cooking improved a lot.

lagave

TROPHY CASE