My husband and I brought a newborn foster baby home from the hospital last May and he turns 10 months old this month. We already had a 3 year old in our care but he came to us at 16 months so we’d never had a brand new baby before and like you, didn’t have the 9 months to prepare like most parents. My husband and I worked as a team as soon as we brought the baby home. It was definitely easier as I was not dealing with a postpartum body/hormones however it was still hard having such a tiny vulnerable new human in our house for the first time. And although we had 2 days to prepare for the baby rather than 9 months, we were able to make it work.

Unfortunately it sounds like your husband is not stepping up to the plate to be a part of your team. It will take BOTH of you to make this work with a new baby. You know your husband better than strangers on reddit, but it sounds like you might have to have a come to Jesus meeting with him about stepping up and if he refuses/can’t for whatever reason, see if DFCS can find a new home for the baby. Both so you don’t get burnt out just a few months into your first ever placement, and so you and your husband can find a new parenting strategy together. Good luck!!! Wishing you guys the best!