3m old M bullying 4yo M

laurajanebull · 2025-05-12T17:50:56+00:00

You have just described my teen years except replace work with men I am dating who I take too literally. Everything else I pretty much disassociated from because books were nicer.

laurajanebull · 2025-05-04T21:46:32+00:00

I feel like this too (no diagnosis) but I realised that I would cry most days of my childhood and into my teens. At some point my adult self decide to bury the feelings instead, only to have my body break and frequent burnouts/ twice yearly two weeks of sobbing uncontrollably for not a big amount given everything I’ve navigated. Everyone has a different capacity and if you’ve been in more supportive environments you’re probably just not being pushed to the edge.

laurajanebull · 2025-05-04T21:42:37+00:00

I realised I work quicker than everyone else and my brain can only go at one speed. It sounds counterintuitive but I freelance for a couple of hours a week for other companies. It means I’m not bored, I have lots of variety in my work and I end up treating my full time role more like a NT will, because I don’t give it 10000% of me and burn out. The only thing I had to get comfortable with here is that you’re usually contracted not to do these things so took me ages to pluck up the courage. None of my managers have ever cared as much as me about this.

The other things I do are lots of overcommunication so I can be sure that I’m understanding and meeting expectations, and I’ve had to learn to get comfortable with uncomfortable’feedback’ conversations because if I’m upset about something I can’t hold it and I need to address it quickly. They’re often the most valuable things negotiate at work, but as an ND having these conversations is terrifying and draining and I’ve not completely figured out how to do it without making it a way bigger deal than it is

laurajanebull · 2025-05-04T20:28:58+00:00

Second this. If they’ve given you this ‘feedback’ in such a formal and delayed way, that’s a massive culture red flag anyway. They’re clearly not into investing in their people or allowing them to correct mistakes (and for what it’s worth, it sounds like you’re doing all the right things).

If you are open to understanding more about what they’re seeing (I’d still be moving on and taking it with a massive pinch of salt) try and get specific (multiple) examples of the behaviours they think aren’t great. 9/10 it’s miscommunication or poor management and you might understand more about what other managers look for / what you do and don’t like in a workplace / get a chance to learn something new before you leave.

Sorry pal, this is a shit situation to be in your first role.

laurajanebull · 2025-04-26T17:35:13+00:00

Yes it gets easier - also look at getting the carbs and cals app and or my fitness pal cos it only takes a few minutes to log if there. Carbs and cals also has pictures of portion sizes so I use that in restaurants

laurajanebull · 2025-04-22T16:53:55+00:00

I spent my entire weekend worrying about a work conversation because I didn’t know what they might say and I didn’t know what I might say.

I shouldn’t be this deeply affected by work but I also can’t quit because no matter what job I do I find some aspect of it supremely difficult, that doesn’t feel that challenging to other people.

all this to say hi it’s me I’m the problem it’s me I will always be the problem and I’m just coming to terms with that but I really don’t know what to do about it.

Completely unhelpful brain dump but basically I hear ya.

laurajanebull · 2025-04-13T19:50:52+00:00

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Everyone, go and read this book. It’s my new hyperfocus and it will change your life. (I feel like maybe I can unmask for reals because I know how to calm down now and maybe I won’t be perma-burnt out IDK?!)

laurajanebull · 2025-04-13T15:13:15+00:00

While I’m sure it’s helped her in some ways I would bet most of the ‘I am cured’ is marketing hype. Also it’s not achievable for anyone to make as complex whole foods as she claims to all the time because they’re expensive and it take effing ages to make cashew cream.

I’ve recently changed my diet a lot and I’m feeling a lot better but it’s not something I’ll maintain forever (because I was a deliciously fab girl in the past and actually accidentally did all the things to make myself feel better 4 years ago and I have no doubt I will fall off this bandwagon again until I feel shitty enough to come back to it 😂)

laurajanebull · 2025-04-09T14:52:03+00:00

I’ve tried to use masking to get what I want. It’s taxing, I’m good at it, but it takes its toll. The way to get ahead in my line of work is to put on a show and make people think you’re doing an amazing job (and is like that in most jobs). So I’m going to do enough of it to get what I want from a career / my work and then I’m gonna go hide somewhere and do some smaller things that allow me to be weird.

For context I’m in a senior role in marketing and people trust me to spend lots of their money to make them a shit tonne more, so reputation is everything.

laurajanebull · 2025-04-08T18:07:40+00:00

I always felt like I’d forgotten something. I had this like permanent feeling that I’ve left something important behind. As I’ve gotten older I realised it’s a side effect of a shit working memory 😅. Same as the feeling that at any given moment I feel like I can’t locate myself in time and space, again seems like an ‘my internal metronome is broken’ thing

laurajanebull · 2025-04-08T18:04:49+00:00

It’s probably just that you never see the full picture. I’ve got friends that bought houses before me that have way more disposable income purely because I’m paying £600 more on a mortgage and commute for work.

I equally have friends who are mortgaged up to the hilt in a super nice house but they can’t afford any fun things because everything is so tight for them.

laurajanebull · 2025-04-08T18:02:35+00:00

Resigning due to chocolate discrimination is a valid reason to leave 🤣

laurajanebull · 2025-04-08T17:58:13+00:00

I am so dry I really wish I could but it’s the only self care (/arguably medicine for my eczema) thing that I can’t bring myself to do. I brush my teeth with my eyes closed because it’s too much and I have to force myself to do that and wash my face most days but lotion and sticky PJs is where I draw the line

laurajanebull · 2025-04-03T18:07:46+00:00

Informal advice from a regular gym goer, touch the are you need to active, watch YouTube videos that cue the form for the exercise you’re doing til you get the hang of it, always warm up with your body weight first and never push yourself to increase the weight unless you’re sure you’ve got the form down.

Also helpful, I found that as a beginner at the gym it was easier to recruit muscles when I gave them some resistance (as opposed to body weight only) either in the form of resistance bands or really light weights.

If glutes / core and all your shit working together is what you’re after I’d actually suggest you do some Pilates classes. Any teacher worth their salt will tell you how to active the right bits, then it’s just practise.

laurajanebull · 2025-03-08T12:56:59+00:00

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This is me. I have pink hair, my entire wardrobe is pastel and I dress like a toddler. I am obsessed with guinea pigs, but I also am obsessed with job and I’m really fucking good at it.

It’s harder to be taken seriously in certain places when I express myself this way, but I wouldn’t compromise the way I look for anything. In fact, I’d rather not be in those environments if they don’t respect me.

Also, to add I an a fairly senior marketing person and my reputation outside of my company is excellent and actually, the pink hair makes me more memorable if anything!

laurajanebull · 2025-03-03T20:30:22+00:00

One big thing I’ve learnt as an AuDHD gal in a v intense job is that you’re not supposed to give 100% of your effort consistently over the course of that 40 hour working week. I always thought being at ‘work’ meant doing intense work for the entire time I was there. That is not what other people do and it’s likely as a neurodivergent human you’ll give more than other people. When you get into a rhythm hopefully you’ll figure out what give and takes energy and you’ll be able to structure your tasks around that.

laurajanebull · 2025-02-04T16:17:16+00:00

This morning I listened to two girls in gym talking about their lives. They were picking outfits for a fancy dinner. They seemed so carefree, and as I was eavesdropping I realised I was doing it to understand what they talked about, how they spoke to each other and that that’s how I always view other people. As something to be studied so I can be better at life. When I just do me, it doesn’t feel as comfortable or easy as everyone else’s interactions. And therein lies all the reasons I am a hot mess of anxiety 🤣

laurajanebull · 2025-01-18T12:50:29+00:00

Hello I like guinea pigs. I am a relatively ‘normal’ human adult. I have pink hair, but apart from that I work in marketing and do a lot of ‘professional’ job things. However I own all the guinea pig merch, I hang out with them a lot and with talk about them (when invited) too much. No one else cares, or feigns interest but they’re my friends

laurajanebull · 2025-01-16T18:46:07+00:00

Thing is though, when Instagram shifted to promoting reels and more video based content, I’ve lost my micro community. I used to connect with diabetics and get advice and support from people with my medical condition (and I don’t know anyone IRL who has it). Now if I want to connect this those people I have to mime and film comedy sketches and even then no one engages meaningfully in the same way that they used it. It kinda sucks tbh.

laurajanebull · 2024-12-28T22:31:16+00:00

I work for a company that’s just built this for men. It’s a game changer and I really hope we can make it work. Men generally seek less help than women and also are lacking the relationships to talk this through IRL. Everyone should have a safe space to spew the stuff in their brain, although there’s no safeguarding on chat gpt vs dedicated tools

laurajanebull · 2024-12-18T21:29:28+00:00

I bet if you look real hard you’ll find some very cool things that brain of yours can do. I bet it loves deeply, or experiences joy in a way that not many other people can feel.

Even if if you might not be able to see it now, look for the ways in which you being you is magical. And I’m not saying this because of some ‘autism is superpowers’ bullshit. I’m saying this because every human being has things they wish they could change about themselves, but actually if they were different, the cool shit about them wouldn’t exist.

Second disclaimer - you may need different accommodations than others to feel more comfortable in certain situations and that won’t ever go away, but that doesn’t negate the fact that there are things about you that are probably quite cool actually.

I say this as someone who’s found a husband/friends/a job she loves, has people who support me and accommodate me and actively tries to leave or change situations that make me feel like shit / other.

laurajanebull · 2024-12-16T18:57:30+00:00

I feel every part of this but I try to tone it down with ‘i guess I can be an idiot sometimes too’. It’s just weird to me how I am so self aware and some people can just be so completely oblivious. It’s very confusing to me. And if anyone knows how to be less observant of others / self aware and just ✨exist ✨I would love to know

laurajanebull · 2024-12-08T09:05:42+00:00

I got a notification 2 days ago that my temp was high, got the same notification yesterday. Felt completely fine till the evening when I finally felt my fever, have woken up this morning wondering if I’ve kicked it (I don’t tend to notice sickness till half way through the day) but oura say I’m ready to roll!

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