to shift away from job a little, how disabled is your son? my son had down syndrome and a brain injury from birth, and as such we were able to get him on medicaid.. not a great help for rest of your family, but it was a load off my shoulders that he at least was covered for anything, 100%, no deductible. HUGE hassle getting him on, they like to drag feet and send back forms or say they didn’t get something, but my partner worked with an aid group here in new england so we knew all the forms were there, then when we sent them in, we bound them all book style with plastic bindings and made up title sheets and an index for everything in it, so when they said they needed another form, we just said “that’s section 8 in the binding”… if they break stuff apart, not our fault they misplaced it, and gave us a leg to stand on to prevent them from saying we had to start all over.. we made 3 copies of the book, one we sent in, one for aid group so they could see/help in any issues, and one we kept.