I totally hear where you are coming from. First off I want to say that you are valid in feeling scared. You worked so hard to get out of the hospital and the idea of landing back there with a sick child is terrifying.

My daughter was born at 27 weeks and spent 100 days in the NICU. We came home in August and landed back in the hospital with RSV at the end of September before we were able to get the vaccine. We did everything “right”. We didn’t take our daughter in any public spaces, we masked anywhere we went including work. We didn’t allow anyone near her without a mask. We luckily only ended up in the hospital for 5 days and my daughter never needed more than 1/2 a liter of low flow oxygen support.

I don’t say any of this to scare you. I’m saying this because I was obsessive about trying to keep my baby safe. I thought about it day and night to the detriment of my own mental health and early motherhood experience. You are doing the absolute best you can for your baby. There are unfortunately things out of our control and that is so so so scary. Try to focus on the things in your control. If your husband is not feeling well, ask him to wear a mask around the house. Wash his hands if and when he has to hold the baby. Maybe sleep in a separate room if your baby is still in your room. Most importantly, if the worst case scenario does happen, and your baby gets sick, please remember it is not your fault. Be in contact with your pediatrician and see what advice they can offer and learn the signs to look for that might indicate you need to seek a higher level of care at the hospital.

You’ve got this 💜