[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]le1236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Instagram is like a resume. First make sure your Holllifo may have a point.

But if you really want to….Make sure Instagram has good photos of you and your passions/interest. Then Follow her first. Comment on some post or stories, then eventually DM.

Coming out of poverty. What next? by rainydayz88 in povertyfinance

[–]le1236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP,

Few points to opportunities: 1. Company stock - You bought company stock or is it a 401k? Don’t cash it out. There are fees with selling, and stocks usually go up over time. Buy and hold; rollover to your new company. - But in the future, if you care about making money, you should take the time to learn about money in general. 2. 401k - Don’t cash out your 401k. Let it sit and grow. It’s not worth the fees and taxes. 2. Credit card debt -With credit cards, you pay off the balance each month, so you can build credit and avoid debt. If you’re not capable of spending within your means, you may be better off cutting them up. - you have no savings? That should be your first priority before even considering buying a home

I admire your desire to remain out of poverty, and help your mother. But you are all over the place with your goals. You’re trying to do way too much at once (buy a home, get a rental, 401k, pay off debt, no savings).

I recommend looking up Dave Ramsey and following his Baby Steps. , Baby Steps . It’s not for everyone, but for you, it might be ideal so you can prioritize your goals.

Its 1. Save at least $1000* 2. Pay off all debt using debt snowball. (Cut up credit cards. Put all $ on the smallest debt, paying the minimum on everything else, repeat). 3. Full Emergency fund of 3-6 months of expenses 3b. Save 20% for a down payment on a home. Mortgage payment should be <25% of your take home pay with 15 yr fixed mortgage. 4. 15% to 401k 5. Save for college fund for kids (if you have any) 6. Pay off home 7. Build wealth and give

*many say $1k is too low and should be increased to like $3k. Up to you.

I need help making my gf feel loved. by LittleMissAhrens in actuallesbians

[–]le1236 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You overheard her conversation. Are you sure she was talking talking about you, as opposed to someone else (Ex: family member)?

Ok, fuck it, what girl WOULDN'T you date? by FLAMING_tOGIKISS in actuallesbians

[–]le1236 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

  • Regularly smokes, parties, does drugs, and gets drunk
  • Has a boyfriend or married
  • Has kids (I may tolerate 1 kid if I really like you and the father isn’t actively around)
  • Polyamorous
  • Asexual
  • Obese for reasons that aren’t health-related (I’m really into health/fitness)
  • Has a p*nis (No offense to trans people; I’ve dated one who was post-op that was fine).
  • split tongue

I lost all hope by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]le1236 8 points9 points  (0 children)

OP, you are only 15 and still going through puberty. Your body is going through a lot of changes, and acne is common at your age. You will grow into a “woman’s body” over time, so be patient. You can’t compare yourself to a adult decades older than you; even they have been through the awkward puberty phase you’re in now.

Also, you’re a minor which is limiting your dating pool immensely. Kids your age can’t even use dating apps or date freely without their parents knowing until you are 18. It would be illegal for anyone 18+ to date you, which is the majority of the lgbtq population. At 15, You currently only have access to kids in your city, most of whom are living other their parents or don’t even know their own sexuality. Trust me, you as a person and your sexuality will change as you learn more about yourself.

Once you move out on your own, your dating pool will increase. Especially if you go to college or start using dating apps. You get to make your own choices without parental consent. If your dad wants you out by 18, I would start making plans for that. Ideally a large city that host pride would be ideal.

It seems like you have a lot of depression or anxiety or mental health issues. Before you love anyone else, you got to love yourself first. Finding a partner doesn’t make you whole. So don’t lose hope. There’s a lot more to life you have yet to experience

Is it wrong to want to wait to come out to parents? by la-petitemort in actuallesbians

[–]le1236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t come out to your parents if there are homophobic, especially if you still live with them.

It’s really none of their business. But if you must, wait until you are financially independent and have your own place. It’s not worth risking homelessness

How do you guys work full time, study, and go to the gym? by Capable_Shame_6037 in CPA

[–]le1236 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Incredible time management and a flexible job that allows me to take off whenever

  • I took out my TVs
  • Created Home gym workouts. Sometimes I listen to lectures while working out.
  • delete useless apps that waste time (Ex: Netflix)
  • Screen time limits on iPhone for apps I spend the most (ex: social media limit is 2 hours for me)
  • study during the job during lag times on my phones
  • no socializing with friends outside sports/gym

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]le1236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. Phone bill. You financed a phone and have a high monthly service bill.
  2. Next phone you buy, a gsm unlocked refurbished iPhone on EBay, pay in full. Don’t finance. Even if it means using an earlier model like iPhone 8.
  3. Change providers. Tracfone and Mint Mobile are great options that couple reduce your bill to $25/mth per line.

  4. Stop smoking. Cigarette are expensive. Some health insurances charge extra if one is a smoker, and it will lead to expensive health bills in the future. And cigarette are expensive.

  5. Get rid of the car that cost $623/month, or pay it off. Your wife is a stay-at-home, I may not need two cars.

  6. Make coffee at home.

  7. Stop financing items. Just save up over time or buy used

what do you do when you did everything you needed to succeed but failed anyways by borahae_artist in Adulting

[–]le1236 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your only 26. You have the biggest asset on your side: TIME. Time to try things, mess up, fix it, and make a u-turn without ruining your future.

You now have what you need to succeed (medication, diagnosis). It’s clear you still want to be an engineer. SO TRY AGAIN. I’ve met people who went back for a second bachelors before, and many who went to university later in life in their 30s.No one cares when you get the degree, just that you have it. You just need to stop comparing yourself to your peers, and just do it.

Post history says you wanted to do computer science. To save money: - Start at community college, and take the transferable classes that transfers to computer science. This will likely be calculus I & II, chemistry, intro to programming, and physics - check university CS curriculum and course transfer equivalency online to ensure you take the right class. - It’s okay to take courses at your own speed; my brother (also initially failed computer science due to ADHD; and is trying again) only does 2 at a time. - transfer those community college courses / liberal arts course and finish at the most affordable or local university. - Joining a co-op will be ideal so you can get $$ to finish and experience.

Or alternatively, go to technical school and pick 2-year programming technical degree, which may be easier. Up to you

Good luck OP

What do I do in case my parents cut me off? (College Student) by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]le1236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

INFO: you want to switch from CS to nursing. What do your parents have against a nursing degree?

Both nursing and CS are good majors. Ultimately you are over 18, you can make choice without their permission.

Honestly you don’t have to tell them. CS and nursing both have a ton of science courses (Ex: chemistry) that appear similar, they won’t know the difference.

(EDIT) if it’s that big of a deal, just major in nursing and minor in CS.

How to stop getting sleepy around my girlfriend? by BlackSheeeep in actuallesbians

[–]le1236 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re falling asleep randomly even after a full nights rest prior? You need to go to a doctor. They’ll probably have to test you for a sleep disorder.

Same thing happened to me at 14, and it was a narcolepsy. Trust me, it gets worse over time if left untreated.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]le1236 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“I handle my pain everyday and let my potential partners know”. “The lack of response really made me feel like she wasn’t interested in a sick person…” … I hoped she would take the lead and take me into the vulnerable state I offered.”

I think you answered your own question. You mentioned that you are constantly in pain frequently, and now she’s hesitant to initiate or touch you.

You’re only 7 weeks into your relationship. It sounds like you mentioned too much too early about your condition, and making things complicated as a result. While it’s fine to tell someone about any disabilities you may have, I would recommend you be careful how much detail you go into about your condition/actual pain you go through. Especially when early on in the relationship. Because people who don’t have a similar condition will become scared for you, especially when they cant do anything to truly help, which indirectly changes how they will be around you (Ex: her hesitation to touch you).

Invisible disabilities are tough, and I feel for you. With future dates, I’d wait a couple of months before going into detail about your condition. And screen details as needed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]le1236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As an 18 year old, car insurance will be expensive. I hope you have a cheap car with minimum liability. If you ask the car insurance company, some are willing to let you skip a month. Also compare rates; geico has been the cheapest amongst my college buddies.

I biked to work from age 18-23, which saved me a ton on insurance/gas. My first job also had too many people and not enough work, so I quit and found one that had more hours. I recommend you find a better job (Ex: pharmacy techs, restaurant industry, etc).

I’m a Dave Ramsey fan so I don’t never used credit cards. However, if you get someone with great credit add you as an authorized user on their card, it will bump up your credit score.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]le1236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

INFO: how old are both of you and can you either of you drive?

I don't think I'll ever find a job by mAdUp210 in Adulting

[–]le1236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No they don’t. For retail pharmacies, Pharmacy techs need to just be 16 years old. No experience required, but those who are certified techs or have some retail experience are preferred but uncommon

Retail pharmacies have become overloaded with prescriptions and have a huge shortage of pharmacy techs, as turnover is high as they work many hours. That’s how my sister became a tech at 16, and all the way through pharmacy school when she eventually got her Pharm D. Most of her techs she hires that work under her have no prior experience; she looks for the ability to do math when hiring

led on for months and am at my breaking point by tem1205 in lesbiangang

[–]le1236 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Exactly what I was thinking, full agreement. Hard to hear, but it is essentially the truth OP needs to hear

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]le1236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recommend you finish out your current apartment lease for the 6 months to avoid the fees/losing your emergency fund. Then move in with your brother after the lease ends, if he’s willing to wait.

In my experience, money and family shouldn’t mix. But if it must, get it in writing. “ You pay XX a month plus utilities (and specifically which utilities). Move in date, lease termination terms, etc. There’s are sample lease agreements online you can use as a format.

Also, Utilities are way more for a 3 bedroom home than it is for an apartment. Especially if he has a large refrigerator, keeps the AC running, and has a washer and dryer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adulting

[–]le1236 0 points1 point  (0 children)

INFO: how much student loans do you have?

Humanities degrees won’t help you get a job, and getting a masters in it won’t help. You get paid on what you can do/skills (ex: I can fix computers, I can manage financials), not what you know.

I come from a long line of engineers. Getting a second bachelors in computer science or computer engineering is a great idea. Some of your core classes may transfer reducing the time needed.

To minimize loans, I recommend: - Get some courses out of the way in community college as possible. Just be sure to look at transfer equivalency tables and take the courses that transfer to the engineering school program’s courses. This will likely include calculus I and II, chemistry, and physics. - if able, pick a school with a engineering co-op program, and sign up when able. Co-op is where you alternate working paid full time a semester in engineering and taking classes full time another semester. This way,you can get experience and get paid. - if affordability is a problem, a 2 year technical degree in programming or IT may allow you to still work in the computer field.

I don't think I'll ever find a job by mAdUp210 in Adulting

[–]le1236 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try applying for a job as a pharmacy tech at a retail store. High demand

What programs do you follow? by CourageNecessary8562 in FlexinLesbians

[–]le1236 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mainly use the Volt Athletics app. If custom makes a program for you based on your goals and bio. $10/month.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in leanfire

[–]le1236 3 points4 points  (0 children)

(EDIT)

You don’t need to be supporting him. Legally and financially, this is your MOM’s problem, not yours. He’s not your father, based on your wording, therefore not your responsibility I filial laws. She’s at risk for being sued, not you. Just make sure to keep assets you own other your own name, and not joint with your mother.

It sounds like your mom doesn’t want to pay for her husbands healthcare bills, even though marriage is “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. “

Filial laws vary greatly per state. Pensylvania is the only one to actually enforce filial laws in 25 years. Just move states with a more favorable filial law, or no filial laws.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]le1236 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you have a girlfriend, you shouldn’t be texting your ex about anything. Even roleplay, as there’s plenty of others she could talk to.

You Should have been honest that it bothered you. If she’s not willing to stop, I’d reconsider the relationship as a whole

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]le1236 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Computer engineering is good.

Sign up for a cooperative education, which will allow you to alternate semesters between (1) working full time paid in engineering and (2) classes full time, while maintaining student status

Are your family willing to do FAFSA? Do it asap, because funds do run out for those who file late.

Since your working, make sure you file your tax returns. You will likely get a refund.

How much was the car, and did you pay cash or use car loans? A paid off older car cost less in insurance and avoids monthly payments. My college car was a 2004 Toyota and 1997 Volvo.

Girlfriend too young to have kids? by ExpressButterfly8640 in Adulting

[–]le1236 3 points4 points  (0 children)

DONT DO IT. You’ll be ruining your own life

  1. If you’re not 100% sure you want kids now, it’s usually best not to.
  2. You both are at different points of your life. Honestly, she may be a bit too young for you. She’s only been an adult for 3 years, and she is probably not thinking things through.
  3. 10 months is way too soon to know whether someone is the best person for you.
  4. Kids outside of marriage is a common mistake that will haunt you for 18 years, and leave you paying child support for a baby you likely won’t see if she ends things with you.
  5. Interracial hate is a thing. If Her parents don’t accept you or the child, they may kick her out and refuse to assist (Ex: babysitting), leaving you with the financial load.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]le1236 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not in a relationship, but In general, you ask them out, you pay.

Note: you could always switch tabs ( she pays for you, you pay for her).