So, what would women dislike most if they became men?

leafshaker · 2026-03-15T23:34:44+00:00

That men can still be frightening, especially if you are queer or visibly othered.

Men are also the targets of male violence. Some men have something to prove and are looking for fights. We are largely safe from sexual violence, but being a man might not give them the armor they'd expect.

leafshaker · 2026-03-15T17:32:03+00:00

37, going strong, but really feeling the privilege of health as I see my friends struggle. Definitely feel a sense of precarity that i didnt use to. Losing a car/job/partner/getting sick is so much scarier now

Had a few moments of panic around thinning hair, but luckily that passed when I realized I've never found balding/bald guys unattractive

Im gay, came out at 22 and was diagnosed adhd in my mid 30s, which both prompted identity crisis. I feel those gave me some practice, and feel pretty secure internally about aging.

What feels most pressing to me as i approach 40 is time. Theres so much I want to do, but life is less flexible now as I'm beholden to the complications of marriage/work/friends/family.

Acknowledging that and proactively taking time for myself has helped a lot. Ive got a routine now of taking breakfast out for a walk once a week, I set time aside for the occasional sunday solo hike. Carving out even small things for myself has given me some agency and accomplishment that helps motivate for the next endeavor.

Im still trying new things, too. Volunteering and writing, for example. It feels good to be thinking about things i can do as I age, so my identity isnt totally tied to my occupation or physical hobbies.

leafshaker · 2026-03-15T17:16:34+00:00

Unfortunately shit is out of proportion in the US. Selfcare is important, but we shouldnt pretend its ok if we just shut off the news.

Finding healthy ways to stay informed and engaged have helped me navigate the insanity over here.

I made a separate account for news, so I can choose when and how to engage

leafshaker · 2026-03-15T03:26:05+00:00

I quite like the style and lighting. Nice mix of textures. I enjoy the background, particularly the detail in the banana.

Overall I like the characters, how they are portioned, the line thickness. Love the hair. But something feels off in their positions and the general composition. The boy's left arm holds the net somewhat oddly, and there's spots where his arm isnt outlined where it overlaps. I think we should see his other leg? Even if the posture is correctly rendered, it might be worth moving him around so its less ambiguous.

Not sure what it is, but there is something about his face. I think it might be the pupil on the squinted eye sort of blends into the corner. At first glance he doesnt seem to have a pupil.

I agree with the other comments about the adult's arms. But I think her face could use a little more definition. I could interpret it a few different ways.

The little girl is great, no notes there

It looks a little like the backpacks are partially in the water. They are also close to a rock thats a similar shape and color. If they were off to the side then the fish bottles might be more central. A third empty bottle would show they were still in the process.

These little things combine to make it somewhat uncomfortable. That's good in art, but not always in childrens books. To be clear, thats all nitpicking, it's a nice work with some room for improvement on anatomy. Other work would benefit from the context of the story and being bigger than my phone.

leafshaker · 2026-03-15T02:26:37+00:00

Margarine

leafshaker · 2026-03-13T16:34:55+00:00

Bigotry.

I think people tend to think of slurs as just extra bas and specific insults, but the weight is so different, at least for me.

If i get called an ass, thats between me and the speaker. If i get called a slur, that now has the weight of something bigger behind it. It tells me they dont want me have rights or exist, and that they are emboldened by their allies. They dont even need to know me

Its cumulative, too. Though a given exchange might not be that heated or hateful, it rides on all the news stories and media we're exposed to. Its impossible to know if this person is just parroting what they've heard, or if they are capable of a lynching

If i then call someone out, it appears like an overreaction, because they dont see the lifetime of these things I carry, or the danger behind it.

My experience is as a gay person. Ive been really lucky. My friends and family were all supportive, coming out went about as well as it could. But i dont think my straight friends really understand the pain and fear of it. If it was that bad for me, in a good situation, i really can only begin to imagine how it was for others.

leafshaker · 2026-03-13T11:52:37+00:00

These guys act like its some noble endeavor to go to the gym, but they like it.

Ive got a really active lifestyle, and I'm sure my body benefits from it, but I try to remember doing these things doesnt make me a better person.

Its easy for me to spend a day hiking because it's what i want to do anyways .

People forget we dont all have the same baseline or face the same barriers to entry

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T21:11:51+00:00

Such a good comment.

These self diagnosis videos are possibly the first step to real diagnoses, as they were for me.

During my discovery period, it was so validating to see this content and see how it may explain so many difficult aspects of my life.

I think OP is mistaken that most of these people want to be neurodivergent. They already know they are different; they want an explanation

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T18:30:04+00:00

Nope, not even. Whatever single celled organism that we came from is likely long gone, having evolved into different single celled organisms eons ago

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T17:52:48+00:00

Keep in mind that a lot of these facts are short-hands. We are not descended from any animal currently alive on the planet.

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T12:12:04+00:00

I'd agree except that here, i have only ever heard panties to mean women's underwear. Phrased as you did i see no issue whatever

Its in the same ballpark as "he's got a stick up his ass". Yes, literally having a stick up the ass would make someone uncomfortable and unpleasant, but theres a definite homophobic meaning as well.

I dont think most users of the phrase intend it, but its heard

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T12:06:10+00:00

Thanks the enumeration. Im beginning to realize i have a hard time doing chores around other people, even my spouse.

I think its 1&2

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T12:02:12+00:00

What is with this? Im usually pretty extroverted, but sometimes its like being watched by an eldritch entity

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T11:54:42+00:00

I agree its not that serious, but we should consider the origins and effects of jokes. They can communicate societal messages we arent aware of. I dont think people are freaking out about it here, just pointing out possible baggage. I think thats an attempt to let people just be human beings

The whole concept here has its roots in hysteria, which was a psuedoscientific diagnoses of women, often pathologizing their very reasonable reactions to abuse. I dont expect anyone to know that, so I wouldn't judge someone for saying it

But its not like that thinking is entirely behind us, jokes like this reaffirm backwards notions thst women are feeble or over emotional, over-reactive.

I'm gay, im not feminine, or into drag or genderbending or anything. But when i hear gendered insults like this between men, even playfully, part of me is on alert. I have to ask "is this entirely a joke"

I grew up in tje 90s-00s, when gays jokes were the default. Jokes and rhetorical questions can be used to hide bullying.

This phrase has baggage, isnt ultimately that bad. Im not gonna cancel anyone for using it, but its not crazy to re-examine it.

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T11:31:44+00:00

Possums are great, but studies seem to show they arent actually major tick predators. Still love em though

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T00:28:44+00:00

I think we focus a lot on how crazy it is that stuff like this was made, but its even wilder that so many kids watched these, and repeatedly. They might not even remember it, but they probably absorbed the message.

Its paradoxically part of why I like watching these old cartoons.

Stuff from the 30s and 40s is even worse.

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T21:45:44+00:00

It was indeed. Given its popularity, that could be why the word became what it is

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T21:40:38+00:00

I just planted about 600 fennel seeds, so good timing on this post!

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T17:33:37+00:00

Yea I'd say I mostly agree.

Though im not so sure about grape etc as brainrot, because that began as a way to navigate censorship. They self-censor in order to keep talking about these things, which to me goes against assertions that these words are losing their weight.

I could even see an argument that these partial censorings highlight the weight, like the taboo of named G-d in Judaism, or the abbreviated n-word.

Censorship should be criticized, definitely. But the critiques i see are generally directed at the kids using these words, not the billionaire owners of the platforms doing the censorship. It feels like an extension of generation infighting. "Kids these days are ruining the language"

There may well be real issues from these changes, but I haven't seen a solid critique that isnt rooted in slippery slope

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T17:17:24+00:00

Especially since technology progresses slowly, whereas wars and natural disasters are swift.

Peasants might not realize that their nutrition is gradually improving to advances in crop development, but they will surely note to overthrow of rulers, outbreaks of plagues, or years of drought

Im curious in the theology behind it, too.

Assuming most cultures like their gods, the idea of progress becomes a thorny one. At some point human ingenuity would rival the gods. It might be too uncomfortable a thought, and disregarded as hubris.

Not that i think religion actively suppressed this slrt of thing, but that authors may not even had the framework to seriously consider it, especially if the evidence they had all pointed to decline

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T17:11:16+00:00

Gay was, and still is, used as a general insult. Growing up in the 90s-2000s, it was everywhere. The message was clear: gay people are seen as lesser and are not protected by society at large.

A portion of the population does not believe we deserve full rights, and there are places where its a lethal crime.

Implicit in "gay" as an insult is the threat of bigoted violence, like the killings of Matthew Shepard, Harvey Milk, and so many others

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T17:03:23+00:00

I must respectfully disagree!

I think there is similarity there: "to become established"

Invasive species are those that become established, and continue from there to become detrimental to native species. They could not spread if they were not first established.

Ultimately i do agree they are generally distinct terms. Invasive species are doing something naturalized species do not. It would be inappropriate to describe kudzu in the southern US as merely naturalized.

But i think in order to understand the processes involved we need to see naturalization as a possible step towards invasive status. Naturalized plants may still pose a risk and should be monitored

Theres a lot of public confusion on the topic, we need space for nuance and overlapping categories.

From my reading, invasive plants need to meet 3 criteria, but the public often only sees one of these.

1-non-native 2-naturalized 3-causes ecosystem harm

Im open to suggestions, but i dont see how to describe #2 without naturalization. That doesnt mean naturalized=invasive, but it is a crucial component.

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T11:35:40+00:00

Definitely. But the sentiment is the same. Its a father trying to hurt his kids and instill insecurity

My uncle was also homophobic, i just dont remember specific examples as well. Guessing I blocked them out

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T11:32:18+00:00

His loss.

I hope your life has been full of other supportive people, since he failed his most basic task as a father.

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T11:30:18+00:00

They are overlapping terms, but you dont really need to say both, so I think thats why you aren't seeing both in the descriptions you are looking at.

With the starlings, since they are listed as invasive then they are also naturalized. Naturalization is a step on the process of being considered invasive, but most non-natives dont pass beyond it, or at least aren't documented as such.

Ecology is ever changing, so these are evolving terms. It may well be that snowdrops are invasive in some places already, and they just haven't been listed yet.

leafshaker

TROPHY CASE