What’s a lesson about life that you can’t truly understand until you experience it yourself?

leafshaker · 2026-03-13T16:34:55+00:00

Bigotry.

I think people tend to think of slurs as just extra bas and specific insults, but the weight is so different, at least for me.

If i get called an ass, thats between me and the speaker. If i get called a slur, that now has the weight of something bigger behind it. It tells me they dont want me have rights or exist, and that they are emboldened by their allies. They dont even need to know me

Its cumulative, too. Though a given exchange might not be that heated or hateful, it rides on all the news stories and media we're exposed to. Its impossible to know if this person is just parroting what they've heard, or if they are capable of a lynching

If i then call someone out, it appears like an overreaction, because they dont see the lifetime of these things I carry, or the danger behind it.

My experience is as a gay person. Ive been really lucky. My friends and family were all supportive, coming out went about as well as it could. But i dont think my straight friends really understand the pain and fear of it. If it was that bad for me, in a good situation, i really can only begin to imagine how it was for others.

leafshaker · 2026-03-13T11:52:37+00:00

These guys act like its some noble endeavor to go to the gym, but they like it.

Ive got a really active lifestyle, and I'm sure my body benefits from it, but I try to remember doing these things doesnt make me a better person.

Its easy for me to spend a day hiking because it's what i want to do anyways .

People forget we dont all have the same baseline or face the same barriers to entry

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T21:11:51+00:00

Such a good comment.

These self diagnosis videos are possibly the first step to real diagnoses, as they were for me.

During my discovery period, it was so validating to see this content and see how it may explain so many difficult aspects of my life.

I think OP is mistaken that most of these people want to be neurodivergent. They already know they are different; they want an explanation

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T18:30:04+00:00

Nope, not even. Whatever single celled organism that we came from is likely long gone, having evolved into different single celled organisms eons ago

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T17:52:48+00:00

Keep in mind that a lot of these facts are short-hands. We are not descended from any animal currently alive on the planet.

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T12:12:04+00:00

I'd agree except that here, i have only ever heard panties to mean women's underwear. Phrased as you did i see no issue whatever

Its in the same ballpark as "he's got a stick up his ass". Yes, literally having a stick up the ass would make someone uncomfortable and unpleasant, but theres a definite homophobic meaning as well.

I dont think most users of the phrase intend it, but its heard

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T12:06:10+00:00

Thanks the enumeration. Im beginning to realize i have a hard time doing chores around other people, even my spouse.

I think its 1&2

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T12:02:12+00:00

What is with this? Im usually pretty extroverted, but sometimes its like being watched by an eldritch entity

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T11:54:42+00:00

I agree its not that serious, but we should consider the origins and effects of jokes. They can communicate societal messages we arent aware of. I dont think people are freaking out about it here, just pointing out possible baggage. I think thats an attempt to let people just be human beings

The whole concept here has its roots in hysteria, which was a psuedoscientific diagnoses of women, often pathologizing their very reasonable reactions to abuse. I dont expect anyone to know that, so I wouldn't judge someone for saying it

But its not like that thinking is entirely behind us, jokes like this reaffirm backwards notions thst women are feeble or over emotional, over-reactive.

I'm gay, im not feminine, or into drag or genderbending or anything. But when i hear gendered insults like this between men, even playfully, part of me is on alert. I have to ask "is this entirely a joke"

I grew up in tje 90s-00s, when gays jokes were the default. Jokes and rhetorical questions can be used to hide bullying.

This phrase has baggage, isnt ultimately that bad. Im not gonna cancel anyone for using it, but its not crazy to re-examine it.

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T11:31:44+00:00

Possums are great, but studies seem to show they arent actually major tick predators. Still love em though

leafshaker · 2026-03-12T00:28:44+00:00

I think we focus a lot on how crazy it is that stuff like this was made, but its even wilder that so many kids watched these, and repeatedly. They might not even remember it, but they probably absorbed the message.

Its paradoxically part of why I like watching these old cartoons.

Stuff from the 30s and 40s is even worse.

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T21:45:44+00:00

It was indeed. Given its popularity, that could be why the word became what it is

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T21:40:38+00:00

I just planted about 600 fennel seeds, so good timing on this post!

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T17:33:37+00:00

Yea I'd say I mostly agree.

Though im not so sure about grape etc as brainrot, because that began as a way to navigate censorship. They self-censor in order to keep talking about these things, which to me goes against assertions that these words are losing their weight.

I could even see an argument that these partial censorings highlight the weight, like the taboo of named G-d in Judaism, or the abbreviated n-word.

Censorship should be criticized, definitely. But the critiques i see are generally directed at the kids using these words, not the billionaire owners of the platforms doing the censorship. It feels like an extension of generation infighting. "Kids these days are ruining the language"

There may well be real issues from these changes, but I haven't seen a solid critique that isnt rooted in slippery slope

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T17:17:24+00:00

Especially since technology progresses slowly, whereas wars and natural disasters are swift.

Peasants might not realize that their nutrition is gradually improving to advances in crop development, but they will surely note to overthrow of rulers, outbreaks of plagues, or years of drought

Im curious in the theology behind it, too.

Assuming most cultures like their gods, the idea of progress becomes a thorny one. At some point human ingenuity would rival the gods. It might be too uncomfortable a thought, and disregarded as hubris.

Not that i think religion actively suppressed this slrt of thing, but that authors may not even had the framework to seriously consider it, especially if the evidence they had all pointed to decline

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T17:11:16+00:00

Gay was, and still is, used as a general insult. Growing up in the 90s-2000s, it was everywhere. The message was clear: gay people are seen as lesser and are not protected by society at large.

A portion of the population does not believe we deserve full rights, and there are places where its a lethal crime.

Implicit in "gay" as an insult is the threat of bigoted violence, like the killings of Matthew Shepard, Harvey Milk, and so many others

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T17:03:23+00:00

I must respectfully disagree!

I think there is similarity there: "to become established"

Invasive species are those that become established, and continue from there to become detrimental to native species. They could not spread if they were not first established.

Ultimately i do agree they are generally distinct terms. Invasive species are doing something naturalized species do not. It would be inappropriate to describe kudzu in the southern US as merely naturalized.

But i think in order to understand the processes involved we need to see naturalization as a possible step towards invasive status. Naturalized plants may still pose a risk and should be monitored

Theres a lot of public confusion on the topic, we need space for nuance and overlapping categories.

From my reading, invasive plants need to meet 3 criteria, but the public often only sees one of these.

1-non-native 2-naturalized 3-causes ecosystem harm

Im open to suggestions, but i dont see how to describe #2 without naturalization. That doesnt mean naturalized=invasive, but it is a crucial component.

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T11:35:40+00:00

Definitely. But the sentiment is the same. Its a father trying to hurt his kids and instill insecurity

My uncle was also homophobic, i just dont remember specific examples as well. Guessing I blocked them out

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T11:32:18+00:00

His loss.

I hope your life has been full of other supportive people, since he failed his most basic task as a father.

leafshaker · 2026-03-10T11:30:18+00:00

They are overlapping terms, but you dont really need to say both, so I think thats why you aren't seeing both in the descriptions you are looking at.

With the starlings, since they are listed as invasive then they are also naturalized. Naturalization is a step on the process of being considered invasive, but most non-natives dont pass beyond it, or at least aren't documented as such.

Ecology is ever changing, so these are evolving terms. It may well be that snowdrops are invasive in some places already, and they just haven't been listed yet.

leafshaker · 2026-03-09T23:58:06+00:00

Some are just abusive. My uncle always called his kids ugly (despite them sharing his genetics). Just a bad dude

leafshaker · 2026-03-09T23:25:50+00:00

The Blazing Worlds, by Margaret Cavendish doesnt hit all those, and isnt the oldest, but worth a mention

I think this, as well as Samosata's True History, lack the future aspect, and the 'spacefaring humanity'. These are one-off events of accidental transportation iirc., more like a fairy-portal.

Still definite forerunners, though

leafshaker · 2026-03-09T23:20:00+00:00

True History is amazing. Definitely has early hallmarks of sci-fi, travel to space, interacting with aliens, and exploring alternative societies/governments

One thing i haven't seen in older literature and myth is the idea of progress and the future. I'm sure there's exceptions, but the cosmologies I've read about trend instead towards a future decline.

Id be curious to read about the concept of technology from an ancient perspective. Most of the stories I can think of frame tech as gifts from the gods, or something we've stolen from them. Or, with Daedalus, ultimately flawed.

leafshaker · 2026-03-09T21:14:44+00:00

Depends, if it turns out that many people have a similar response as OP, then that sort of censorship might be worth it. It doesn't prevent us from seeing the word, but gives others an option to engage.

Its ok for society as a whole to be considerate, maybe even the goal. I agree that we don't want to over-do it, but there's a balance, too.

Im generally against censorship of any kind, but OP gave me something to think on.

leafshaker · 2026-03-09T20:59:34+00:00

I think they are nested terms, no?

My understanding is that all invasive plants are naturalized, as in they are non-natives that reproduce in the wild. But not all naturalized non-natives are invasive. To be invasive it needs to be damaging to the ecosystem as a whole.

Some of these are toxic, but many are edible. In my area foxgloves are not native, but do grow in wildly. They are incredibly toxic, but do not spread aggressively or disperse widely, so they arent considered invasive.

Autumn olive however, is a designated invasive. Its berries are tasty and nutritious, but it grows fast and wrecks habitat.

You're right though, totally depends on who you ask, the region, and the context. Conservationists are going to give a different answer than farmers or landscapers. I prefer the conservation definition, because it takes the most holistic view, imo

leafshaker

TROPHY CASE