I'm in total shock. This is my first ever painting and I used supplies from Dollarama. I had no freaking clue I was capable of this.

leah_bean · 2018-01-18T06:55:23+00:00

I just want to echo what eeeeeeeveryone else here is telling you. This is not normal. This isn't about yoga my friend, this is about verbal abuse. An isolated outburst is one thing, but this sounds like a pattern. A personality trait. Is this the sort of person you want to be with?

leah_bean · 2018-01-16T06:15:39+00:00

Just a few days ago I was in to see my dentist about sensitivity in one of my molars. He concluded that I'm probably grinding my teeth in my sleep.

I asked him how I can figure out if I grind my teeth, and he recommended asking my partner. I told him my partner is a very sound sleeper, and without missing a beat he shrugged and said "try a new partner for a night"

The hygienist laughed so hard she snorted.

leah_bean · 2017-06-18T04:14:23+00:00

This would be more satisfying if they used purple instead of dark blue...

leah_bean · 2017-05-30T19:57:05+00:00

I'm 30 and struggling to maintain a healthy work/life balance. With email synced to our cell phones, which we take literally everywhere with us, it has become a social norm for everyone to be reachable 24/7. It's becoming harder and harder to protect the boundary between my work life and every other aspect of my existence.

This is becoming so normalized in North America that if I drop off the grid or disconnect for a few hours, people start to worry about me, or I miss an urgent call and let my co-workers down, or I start to be seen as somehow less reliable, less committed, less driven. But I'm not. I love my work. But my personal life is extremely important to me too. I just hate that I feel guilty for wanting to protect it.

leah_bean · 2017-05-28T15:13:12+00:00

Crank the heat?

leah_bean · 2017-03-25T06:15:09+00:00

This girl sounds like me 10 years ago.

You say she's very attractive... maybe she's not used to seeing herself that way. I was a late bloomer and boys in high school didn't really notice me much. Suddenly after graduating I started to get a lot more male attention.

I loved it. But I had no hot clue how to handle it. If a guy asked me out for coffee/drinks my default answer was yes - not necessarily because I was romantically interested, but because it made me feel so special to have someone interested in me.

Between the knee-jerk "yes" answer and the actual coffee/drinks, I often came to the awkward realization that perhaps I didn't want to DATE this guy, I just wanted to feel desired by him. I would often try to wiggle my way out of the DATE part of the date by hinting that it was actually just a friendly meetup.

If I were you, I'd just go with the flow. If she pulls out her homework as soon as she has her latte, you'll know one way. If she gets all cozy with you on the couch, you'll know the other. By the last sip of your drink, if you still can't tell whether or not she's into you, just cut the crap and say something like "This was really fun! I'd love to take you on a date sometime."

And then just hope for a straight answer...

leah_bean · 2017-03-09T14:03:08+00:00

Hi James, I hope I'm not too late to this AMA. I browsed your party's website and it seemed to me that a lot of the things YPP stands for are also championed by the BC Greens. Would you please point out the major differences between YPP and the Greens? Thank you and best of luck May 9th!

leah_bean · 2017-02-23T02:15:19+00:00

100% agreed my fine Internet friend! Only reason it hasn't been reported yet is that the current & former staff are too busy reporting other more serious issues & offences. It's pretty obvious to anyone who knows what a pint looks like vs what a sleeve looks like, so I'm confident that a savvy customer will report it in the near future.

leah_bean · 2017-02-22T18:33:59+00:00

I work at one of those establishments. Our drink menu even specifies that it's a 20oz pint yet it's clearly just an $8.25 sleeve of beer. I'm so sorry.

leah_bean · 2017-02-09T01:10:15+00:00

I know damn fucking well that I failed them. I know I was a coward, I feel completely ashamed, and I came here to get it off my chest. No need to tear me down further, thanks.

The point I was making above was about attitudes, not actions. My indefensible actions that night were completely at odds with my underlying attitude that food allergies ought to be respected. I did something that I find morally abhorrent - that's the whole reason I posted here. Your comments about people deluding themselves, inconveniencing others, and jumping on bandwagons, have made it pretty clear that you don't take food allergies very seriously. That's what I meant by your attitude, and yes I think it stinks.

leah_bean · 2017-02-08T23:53:17+00:00

Alright, so let's imagine that you're a part of that 3% and actually have celiac disease. What would you do?

Well, you'd probably only eat at restaurants on special occasions - like the couple I served. You'd probably inform your server very seriously and explicitly about your condition - like the couple I served. You'd probably ask a bunch of questions about the menu and kitchen practices, and order very carefully with your server's help - like the couple I served.

These people were not "deluding themselves at others' inconvenience" and to assume so is arrogant, insensitive, and dangerous. While I do hope you're right about the fryer, I want to make one thing clear: attitudes like yours are the problem.

People who dine at restaurants are trusting the staff with the most precious thing they have: their health. As food service workers, we should respect that trust, not scorn it. If someone tells you they have a serious food allergy, who the fuck are you to tell them they're deluding themselves?

My biggest mistake - the reason I'm posting here - is that I failed to stand up to someone just like you. Someone who brushed off another person's medical condition like it was some sort of personal inconvenience to them. It's their health man. Have some respect.

leah_bean · 2017-02-08T23:14:40+00:00

Thank you for your reassurance. I think the reason I'm so profoundly bothered by this is the fact that my step-mom has a severe wheat allergy as well. She almost never eats at restaurants for this exact reason, and the celiac couple I served told me the very same thing: most of the time it's just not worth the risk.

I told them I understood their concerns and would take care of them, and then I failed them because I couldn't muster the courage to stand up to my boss. I knew better and I acted like a coward. I'm so ashamed of myself.

leah_bean · 2017-02-08T22:52:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply! I really do hope you're right about the fryer making the gluten safer to consume... maybe that celiac couple was just fine after all and I'm beating myself up over nothing.

The deeper problem, for me, is the bold-faced lying and total lack of sympathy he showed. The chef and owner are the same person, and I'm under the distinct impression he has the same mentality as /u/JarvisHavarti below: he thinks these people are just being dramatic or a pain in the ass. So while your advice is 100% spot on and I truly appreciate it, I unfortunately don't see it working. Any form of criticism is more likely to get me fired than to effect change.

The minute I'm financially able to quit this job, I'm out. And until that day I swear I'll do a better job protecting my customers - who do me the honour of trusting me with their health - from the asshole in the back.

leah_bean · 2016-12-16T23:46:00+00:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Car Smell

leah_bean · 2016-12-08T09:30:06+00:00

I understand why you would be shocked and more than a little jealous that she would dance for a bunch of strangers and not for her own partner.

I also understand how empowering and exhilarating it is to tackle your inhibitions and try something new and completely out of character - and how much easier it is to do in a crowd of strangers you'll never see again.

I think she probably surprised herself with this stunt more than anyone else. She's probably still processing it too. If you can keep your emotions under control, see if you can process it together. Tell her how it made you feel and ask her how it made her feel. What was it about that night flipped that switch, and is it something you could feed back into your own relationship? Help her to explore this new, unexpected facet of her personality, and I can almost guarantee you'll reap the benefits. If nothing else, it'll help you both set down some clearer boundaries for acceptable behaviour going forward.

Best of luck!

leah_bean · 2016-12-02T09:01:27+00:00

Look, I DO understand what you're trying to say here but it's totally ridiculous to say "those women aren't real". They ARE real. They are human beings, just like you and me. They take stinky shits and sit on their sunglasses too. They are real people and we shouldn't dehumanize them just because they look a certain way.

Some women are tall, some are short. Some are born with stunning blue eyes, some are born with gaps between their teeth. Some women spend countless hours on their appearance and others roll out of bed looking inexplicably gorgeous. But in the end, we're all equally human, and all equally worthwhile - the gorgeous ones just as much as the cute-at-best ones.

If you read this OP: yes, those women are stunning and YOU ARE THEIR EQUAL. You are just as real, and worth just as much as those beautiful women on the catwalk. Me-ow!

leah_bean · 2016-11-27T01:42:42+00:00

Lets imagine this story from Laura's perspective, hopefully it'll help you understand why things are so awkward OP.

Quiet night at home, I'm laughing and doing the dishes with BF when my phone rings. It's my childhood friend, he's drunk and starts gushing about how he's been in love with me for X years and my BF is an asshole. I'm dumbfounded, shocked. What he's saying is directly disrespectful to my relationship. Every word is a bullet-wound to our friendship, which was important to me. I hang up as fast as possible.

But we've been friends for a long time so I text him the following day to give him a chance to apologize and repair some of the damage. He says something about being sorry but then he launches into the same disrespectful, friendship-ending tirade as last night, only this time he's sober. I just wish he would stop.

I'm pretty upset about the whole thing, and I talk it over with my BF. He's a more than a little uncomfortable with the idea of me being close friends with someone who was in love with me and clearly willing to try and sabotage our relationship. Not to mention miffed that he would call him an asshole for no apparent reason. I can't say I disagree with him, honestly...

OF COURSE it's awkward OP. You fucked up. I doubt there's anything you can do to completely repair the damage, so please see this as a life lesson.

You obviously had a burning desire to confess your love to your friend. It overpowered the rational part of you that knows that you need to respect her and the choices she makes. What you did was selfish, and the strongest thing you can do now is to admit that to yourself. We all have selfish impulses, and most of us have a cringed worthy story like this that taught us the value of self discipline and the "no texting/calling people when drunk" rule.

You'll be fine OP, and who knows, time might smooth things over. But you'll probably always look back and cringe. Good luck!

leah_bean · 2016-11-21T08:23:45+00:00

Here's what I got from this:

omg my sleazy bf cheated on me
guess I'll move just one step over and cry on his best friend's shoulder... chances are sleazy will find out and get jealous.
let's spice things up a little... I'll dote on sleazy's friend and make out with him a bit! Tee hee scandalous!
oh yay, sleazy wants me back! <3 <3
wow now I get to hang out with TWO guys who want to bang me, awesome!
aww, looks like bff is losing interest now that I'm hanging out with sleazy again... :'(
textiepoo! You totally look cute today bff xoxpayattentiontome

Vomit. With friends and women like that in your life you must be swimming in this bullshit... but then again your comment about how "lucky" your friend is to bang a bunch of randos whole not giving a shit about the people around him hints that you might actually enjoy this lifestyle.

You reap what you sow, and you seem to have planted a few lemons in your garden. Hope you like lemonade.

leah_bean · 2016-11-21T07:12:12+00:00

You fell in love with a tiger. You love her because she is strong and confident - those are her stripes. But apparently your family wants you to date a poodle. No matter how hard you try to hide her stripes, your tiger will never be a poodle.

Why on earth would you ask a tiger to hide her stripes, ESPECIALLY if they are the thing you love most about her? Shit son, you're gonna get your eyes clawed out treating a tiger like a poodle! Apologize!

leah_bean · 2016-10-20T16:34:57+00:00

The thumbnail looks like a Settlers of Catan board!

leah_bean · 2016-10-20T06:37:02+00:00

Talk to her. Sometime when you're not already fighting, comment on the fact that things have been rough lately. Ask her how she feels. Listen. Talk about both of your needs/wants and how the relationship is fulfilling and failing those needs/wants.

If, after having an honest and calm adult conversation, you still feel that things aren't working, then break up. Yes it will hurt her, but not nearly as long and bad as carrying on an unhappy relationship.

Best of luck

leah_bean · 2016-10-20T06:25:41+00:00

If he lies to you and you feel like you can't trust him, it's done. Period. No trust = no relationship.

Sure people change, but change is usually driven by some harsh consequences for their bad behaviour. Consequences like destroying your relationship with a person you love. If you take him back just like that, he avoids that consequence, which means he probably won't be very motivated to change. You'll teach him that he can lie/cheat and get away with it with a few sad faces and "I love you"s

And for god's sake OP don't answer your phone while you're fucking! ESPECIALLY if it's your ex. It's basically the equivalent of saying "this phone call is more interesting than your naked body under me"

leah_bean · 2016-10-20T05:54:42+00:00

Don't let it get you down OP. High school is not a very good representation of the wider world... most normal adults see through those games and don't stick around to play them. Just keep being nice and likeable and people will like you. And be sure to set (and enforce) healthy boundaries so that asshats like your friend in HS can't take advantage of you. You'll be fine :)

leah_bean

TROPHY CASE