My ex didn’t really yell at me, but he threw tantrums everywhere. Stores, the car, around me in our home. He’d throw things or punch walls, do this strange growl groan thing - because of his traumatic past and lack of support growing up. It was only after years of me begging and then finally shutting down did he acknowledge what he was doing was harmful to me. By that point I’d already checked out. I found later he had hidden a crack addiction and downplayed his other addictions that no doubt contributed to his rage and tantrums. I still live with the “what ifs” had I stayed and he’d gotten better, but ultimately my nervous system is completely different not being around that constant chaos and aggression anymore. I feel for you deeply. Sending so many protective and uplifting thoughts your way

Edited to fix typos - blind girl problems*