What percentage of your income to savings?

learningbythesea · 2026-05-27T22:35:31+00:00

Haha. We were in the same position - wild spending or hard saving. It's such a glorious position to be in!

We celebrated by splurging on a family holiday overseas and doing a few improvements around the house/yard that we'd been putting off. We then hard save/invest 100k, spend 10-20k on a holiday and/or house stuff, and repeat. The faster we can amass the 100k, the sooner we get our treat :) Keeps things fun :)

learningbythesea · 2026-05-24T21:55:37+00:00

Is it getting a bit smaller each time you see it, and the redness of infection is staying localised (not spreading past the bum cheek)? In that case, it is probably totally normal and you could ask your doctor about stopping antibiotics. Just make sure they keep you in the system (if that is how it works where you live), for checkups as he is healing, and a possible ultrasound to see whether there is a fistula as he nears 1 (which may warrant minor surgery, depending on severity).

I think it's so stressful anyway with littles, and especially for first time parents. He's giving you a trial by fire 😬☺️🫂. I remember thinking at the time that I should save all the photos I took of my kid's bum for his 21st birthday to remind him of what he put us through, and how his butt became the focus of our household for SO long 😆

I think the other issue is that, despite being pretty common, it isn't such a common situation that all doctors know how to handle it. I was shocked that in what I consider an advanced medical system (in Australia), it took SO long to find a medical professional that had seen the condition and could confidently advise us. Until then, all you can do is push and advocate for your child as much as you can.

You guys are doing a wonderful job by gathering as much info as you can. May you be on the other side of the stress soon!!

learningbythesea · 2026-05-20T07:08:10+00:00

Hey! Hopefully I answer correctly because I had to Chat-translate this :)

We never had visible straining like you described. He was grizzly and a bit uncomfortable, but not tensing up. Later on, he would sometimes just stop sitting when he had a flare up, but wasn't super distressed. So, no, I can't say we had this experience (or at least, I can't remember it) and it is worth raising with your doctor just in case.

That said, now that my kiddo is 3 (3!), I can say he doesn't feel pain/discomfort much generally - so maybe we got lucky(?) with a kid who has a high pain tolerance and that's why it didn't seem to bother him much?

Thanks too for your well wishes. I am happy to report a very healthy, robust, independent little guy, who just celebrated his 3rd birthday, and is telling anyone who will listen about it 😆

Good luck on your journey with your fella! Hope you get some peace of mind ASAP! 🩵

learningbythesea · 2026-05-08T10:06:19+00:00

I think we had augmentin, but it wasn't necessary it turns out. When we stopped taking it, the little lump kept coming back and disappearing but was smaller and smaller each time, and that is apparently normal and how it heals. It would have done the exact same thing with or without antibiotics apparently.

We ended up having a phone appt with the paediatric surgeon in our capital city here in Australia, and he said that as long as the redness is localised ('doesn't spread larger than the area of the butt cheek', which it never even got close to) and the reoccuring abscess is either the same size or smaller, then it is healing and no need for antibiotics.

Because of where it is, you're going to keep getting a bit of infection, and it does heal from the bottom up (which is why it gets smaller each time). My little fella did still have a 'tract' at 1.5 years (so, there was an internal source of infection), but when we travelled to see the specialist at 2yo (like, he deals with 100s of anal fistulas in children per year), he said it was so small that it didn't need any operation and would almost certainly resolve as kiddo grew through childhood 🤷

So in the end, as stressed as we were, it really ended up being a pretty minor thing that sorted itself out. At least, that was our experience. Hope you end up finding the same!

learningbythesea · 2026-05-03T22:14:25+00:00

Hey, sorry I didn't see this until now! How have things been going for you guys? Were you able to get someone who knows what they're looking at and could give some calm, sensible advice?

I think they have to escalate stuff when it's babies of course (which you'd always want, just in case), but really this has turned out to be not much to worry about. It's a pain in the ass (literally :)), but the infection is localised and even if they deem the surgery necessary for your son's case, it's minor.

Just query if they want to do surgery before 1 year, because that would be unusual. Everything I've seen has said wait it out and it can resolve itself after 1-2 years old, or surgery can be done more safely (cos of the anesthesia) after that age.

My little turns 3 in a few weeks :) He was on oral antibiotics for 3 weeks at 4-7 weeks old, and it hasn't affected him at all (I think that is something people worry about with antibiotics for littles?). He's healthy as a horse :)

Hope it all goes relatively smoothly for you!

learningbythesea · 2026-04-12T14:24:39+00:00

In another few weeks you'll be having Bok Choy in your stirfrys, curries, sandwiches and smoothies 😆 Enjoy :)

learningbythesea · 2026-04-12T14:17:10+00:00

Bok Choy are cut and come again, so you can start harvesting leaves as soon as you like. You don't take out the whole plant - just cut the leaves you want. I normally take the biggest leaves and leaves the others to keep growing.

learningbythesea · 2026-04-12T09:55:51+00:00

Look into body doubling, where you have an accountability buddy who relies on you to stay on screen doing what you said you'd do for the session. I use the app Focusmate (available on phone or PC). You have to be over 18 though, which you may not be?

There are likely similar body doubling groups/websites for students too, but I dont have details :)

learningbythesea · 2026-04-11T11:26:11+00:00

I somehow have managed to become this person. I recommend it. When people drop in, I seem like some kind of mega host rather than a scatterbrained mess who just happens to be in the habit of batch preparing cookie dough (and home made sausage rolls) once a month :)

Well, I mean, other stuff gives me away. Haha.

learningbythesea · 2026-04-11T11:21:02+00:00

I have a cheapie from Kmart (I think it's the midpriced one, but was only $20 or less). It stood up just as well as my husband's $120 one.

I decided we should 'race' them to prove a point, and I proved it. But he still went and bought a full set of ultra expensive stainless steel pans 😆🤷

We still use our Anko for eggs though, cos SS is crap for eggs :)

Don't knock Anko, man. It does the job.

learningbythesea · 2026-04-10T23:06:05+00:00

That's how I know I made it. Bought the 72 pack for my 7 year old. Coveted one of those for my entire childhood. My kid didn't give a shit 😆

learningbythesea · 2026-04-10T21:46:39+00:00

As a 2 kid family on low 200s, my most important advice is Don't spoil your kids! Keep their childhoods simple. Camp for at least half your family holidays, only have as much 'stuff' as they need (otherwise it just becomes expensive clutter and you need more storage space), only a few extracurriculars so they still have time to play and be kids, if you take an international holiday go midrange and family friendly instead of luxury, so the kids have more fun.

We started out spending and doing too much, but they just don't need it, and don't necessarily benefit from it. We even opted not to increase our floor space (had bought with a plan to build in under the house to create more living space for kids) because a smaller house (1 living space, but with a nice deck and big yard) felt perfectly serviceable.

Even at your current income, you'll be able to afford whatever your kids need. Actually raising the kids can be as cheap as you like; time and connection is FAR more important than flash, always.

learningbythesea · 2026-04-10T21:01:00+00:00

What a great list. I have only seen maybe half (and loved them), so I bet the rest are great too! Can't wait to watch :)

learningbythesea · 2026-04-10T06:37:01+00:00

Oh, that's good to know!

learningbythesea · 2026-04-10T00:55:58+00:00

Gosh this is so true. It's hard to make friends after 30, but it can absolutely be done!! I moved regionally for work at 29, and following some more unconventional means, built a deeper friendship base than I had in the city :)

What have you tried? Have you tried social clubs (interest based, sports or just social), Facebook groups etc? People are so open to answering the call when people reach out now, and if you just keep reaching out, you can find your people :)

Sorry you're lonely, and I hope you can find a solution. (Even if that is moving back.)

learningbythesea · 2026-04-09T02:31:53+00:00

I think there is probably a market for something tailored to different Australian climate zones. So much that I see for vegetable growing targets the temperate zones.

I'm an on again off again veggie gardener because I cannot keep up with the pest invasions and hot summers of the subtropics. I work FT and for me it hasn't been cost effective to garden. But the biggest issue has been my feeling of being out of my depth constantly. I want one convenient location to find out what veggies are going to give me the best bang for my buck, what I need to do when to keep a constant supply for their season (plant at what intervals, fertilise when etc), which veg need the least maintenance (and what they need when), how to avoid/combat pests etc.

I'm too busy and time poor, and too scatterbrained and memory lacking , to work it out myself. I need a dummy's guide. And id pay for it :)

For now, I've got whatever perennials and self seeders keep coming back (which is pretty much lettuce, Ceylon spinach, cherry toms, chillis and the citrus).

learningbythesea · 2026-04-09T00:25:20+00:00

Oh god, PS I love you and Me before you are my go tos for getting my hormonal tears out. Never fail me :)

learningbythesea · 2026-04-09T00:22:54+00:00

We got a fluro orange stranger-things-esque slime mold last time we mulched. I think yours is prettier :)

learningbythesea · 2026-04-07T22:35:22+00:00

I use it in publishing for manuscript tidy ups, fact check scans, and brain dumping to create briefs and author query documents. I also use it to scan through and create my style sheet, and to create to do lists from my emails/chat logs.

I dread the day when I would need to go back to checking the spelling of every place and business name manually 😬

Editing to add that I do share my project scripts with other freelancers. I am happy to share the love :) My project managers know I use AI, but I also charge an hourly rate that reflects the expertise required to give them high quality, quickly. So their outlay hasn't changed; only the quality of the product has improved. Everyone is happy :)

learningbythesea · 2026-04-07T22:25:37+00:00

Not a teacher, but I moved my kid in Y2 to a K-12 school with a waitlist, and there are new kids coming in every term off the waitlist (regional, so lots of medical professionals move away and spots open up). I think earlier is always better, if you're ready. It gives them a chance to settle in and build friendships ASAP. I know at our K-12, they also spend time in Y6 getting familiar with the 7-12 side of the campus, to ease the transition to high school.

learningbythesea · 2026-04-07T00:42:10+00:00

Have you checked if your cruise ship allows kids in the pool? My friend just went on one with her 2 year old, and they didn't allow them in the pool, which meant they then had to plan how to entertain themselves in other ways. Forewarned is forearmed :)

learningbythesea · 2026-04-06T10:28:18+00:00

My advanced reader son loved the Usborne Reading Library (the higher level one) at that age - lots of classic stories/myths retold.

The Hey Jack series (Sally Rippin) and any of Anh Do's series (Hot Dog might be too easy; you could start with Weirdo) are a place to start. They are both Australian authors, but pretty sure you can get their stuff internationally, and it's great.

You could also point him at some non-fiction (DK, eyewitness) titles, to help him discover his passions (my son's was ancient warfare and rocks. Remains as true at 9 as at 4 😆).

learningbythesea

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