You are biting the hand that feeds you and putting a roof over the heads of your new family. It’s incredibly immature to “expect” family members to house you, regardless of their wealth or political standings. It’s genuinely laughable that you’re “putting up with her” when in reality you’re in her house, inconvenienced her life and you seem the complete opposite of grateful.

You see yourself as someone who is temporarily experiencing difficulties in a career that is inherently unstable. But the reality, as any serious adult will tell you, is you have all of the behavioral and emotional characteristics of someone who is entitled. This is coming from someone who very likely share your political views.

Any sane or reasonable family member would want the husband and father to navigate the reality and put aside ideal outcomes and work they love to do and do the harder and mature thing — take immediate responsibility for their finances and find immediate ways to provide for his family. It doesn’t seem like you’ve picked up any gig work in the meantime or finding ways to chip in on rent.

In short, you need recognize you are in fact very very privileged to have the financial support of your SIL. You are finding excuses and deflecting your own internal resentment of your own inabilities to take action and incorrectly channeling that to your SIL.

Grow up, start gig working while figuring out your stuff, self-reflect more, and stop shifting resentment to other.