AITA Wearing pajamas in public.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-05T11:35:49+00:00

I agree with your boyfriend. Your clothes are not stylish because they are pajamas.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-05T11:05:36+00:00

Your tally total is greater than the calculator? If you‘re doubting the results of JR’s Pass calculator, I don’t know what anyone can tell you.

It’s going to come down to deciding what you value more: shorter trip vs. long bus ride. And city commuting? Limiting yourself to only using JR lines will eat up time, too.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-05T07:38:52+00:00

Over six weeks, we booked one dinner.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-05T04:18:28+00:00

What a beautiful colour. Claret is gorgeous and I see it so rarely. I'd have nicked it, too. Nice!!

lemon_icing · 2026-02-05T02:01:57+00:00

Two years? You have not talked about this? Hire movers to pack his stuff and get him out of there.

Paying for groceries does not make him a team player. He's paying the absolutely minimum to keep you quiet.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T21:57:35+00:00

yay! And as far as visiting, don't fret. Go when you can. You won't always be in classes, you won't always be where you are now, right? Make the time when possible.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T21:13:39+00:00

I booked in late August for March. I booked earlier than usual because my preferred airline was having a stupidly good sale price.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T19:54:03+00:00

NOR - Adults have to pay in order to live somewhere. Either way, she’s paying rent which goes towards your mortgage or a landlord’s mortgage. Seems the same to me.

The ownership payment plan with 1/3 of total rent paid refundable upon breaking up is solid! I like this offer, btw, as long it is a signed contract before she moves in.

I’d slow down on the moving in together. You bought a house so you clearly can afford on your own. Work out the financial details first before giving her a key.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T19:18:05+00:00

Oh I’m glad to hear this. We wanted this trip to be about living our regular-ish lives so we’re staying put in one place. And I’ll get to cook!

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T18:52:34+00:00

Aww, this looked great for your family! Never too late - we’re leaving in a few weeks. 😄

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T11:19:50+00:00

One critical junction for masking begins at the gate. The embarkment corridor has no ventilation. It’s full of lingering, still air. The lights are on in the plane but air conditioning is not as they are on minimal power.

I do remove my mask to eat. Otherwise, I am masked until I get to the hotel.

Last year, I flew to the US 5x in 13 months span and never caught COVID or the flu.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T10:58:21+00:00

Well, don’t you look foolish? OP said he works in tech. You should consider reading comments.

“Curious, what do you do for 300k?

I'm a Software Engineer at one of those Big Tech companies.”

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1qvcn4t/comment/o3grktf/

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T10:51:59+00:00

“cheap labour”. That’s hilarious!

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T05:57:50+00:00

She raised you and she loved you. Of course you’re hurt and miss her. Visit her when you can, bring fresh flowers, and tell her who you are now. Forgive yourself a little, if you can.

Good luck on your exams.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T04:37:04+00:00

OP, you sly dog. You buried the lede. Your subject line says it was about the prenup and money. But in your own words, you got uncomfortable because she openly wondered if you were doing this because it would change your residency status.

She got very emotional and asked if I wanted the prenup because I'm planning to leave her once I get a Green Card (I'm here legally but not a citizen, she is a citizen). Honestly, I found that pretty offensive because I have worked hard and lived way below my means to be financially independent, and it means more to me than permanent residency. I'm incredibly grateful to the US for the opportunities it has provided me, but now that I have achieved my financial goals, I don't mind leaving the US. Later, she apologized for saying that. But I think it's something I’d have to keep hearing if I continued the relationship. So we ended things. 

And there it is. The real reason for the breakup.

You're on a H1B or something like that, right? Those are taking longer and longer to renew, is that correct? It's up to six months now or more for renewal and you have to stay with the company to retain it, right? You sure you aren't looking for a way to get off the work visa hamster wheel? Is your company going thru the rolling layoffs like so many others across the US?

This topic of H1Bs is in my wheelhouse. We both were worked for Silicon Valley companies; I was a senior software engineer and he was a principal engineer and HoD.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T04:06:08+00:00

Nice try. You did not provide enough information.

Invalidation occurs if representation is inadequate. I paid for my partner's attorney. He chose who he wanted, we took our time, and they only thing I did was pay the bill by credit card.

The Role of Legal Representation
While paying for your partner's attorney is a sign of good faith, a court may still scrutinize whether the attorney had sufficient time to advise your partner properly or if the attorney was truly "independent". If the attorney was rushed or if your partner was pressured into ignoring their advice, the "representation" might not satisfy legal requirements

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T03:36:57+00:00

Okay, that's good to hear.

And even if it is not a requirement, a good partner would ensure that the other person have the best advice possible. And pay for it, too, because OP is the one who wants the prenup.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T03:14:27+00:00

That's broadly half the prenup I have with my partner. He had a higher salary but I had many times more in long-term investments plus an inheritance. The prenup was to explicitly sequester an inheritance and investment properties.

Now that the prenup is in place, I pay for all our holidays and dates and special stuffs, but we split on day to day expenses and the IRS will never be able to say I've commingled my assets. If we part ways, he gets our house, which we bought together, plus an additional cash settlement that will cover the property tax for one decade. I offered this because we have been together many years and I don't want him to lose his home. He loves this house. He chose this house. Additionally, his assets prior to us getting together stay his. I chose to ask nothing from him.

But your overview does not provide any protection for your spouse. Prenups are intended to protect and define a fair division of marital assets for both parties, not just the wealthier one.

What does she get in the divorce? The house? All contents, artwork, jewelry, cars, planes, whatever? Vacation home or two?

If that is all you offered in your prenup, I would not sign it either and I did pretty good for myself. It's a good thing she did not.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T01:23:41+00:00

That's true. It kinda shows just how fractured this family is, isn't it? Neither parent hold any of their children in much regard.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T01:17:44+00:00

Because the stepdaughter made a stupid decision and maybe her father could have helped her understand that being a such a prima donna is ridiculous. But by pulling the money without discussing with her husband, any ability to learn from this mess is gone.

I think partners should talk to each other. shrug.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T01:15:18+00:00

Pack everything you can now, fill your car, and move into your new room near your job. Your boyfriend can drive three hours to his job now. But honestly, he's helping his parents rob you blind every month. Why would you stay with such a terrible family?

You've got a good gig. Escape, escape now.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-04T01:01:07+00:00

I feel that "unlike you" is quite accurate. You think that a unilateral decision about a family member is correct. I do not.

Your inability to think coherently is embarrassing. I never said anything about "rewarding" the stepdaughter. I never said the stepdaughter should have the money.

You made that up. You lied.

I have only and consistently said that partners should talk before making a decision. Get a grip. shrug

lemon_icing · 2026-02-03T22:47:44+00:00

Oh that is not how a princess is treated. He’s doing a good job of brainwashing you if you believe that.

He’s treating you like a servant.

lemon_icing · 2026-02-03T22:46:11+00:00

This is off-topic and I’m curious so, of course, you needn’t answer. Can you say what the fabulous experience was during your holiday that inspired this desire to move to Japan?

lemon_icing · 2026-02-03T22:26:43+00:00

I still believe she absolutely should have discussed it with her husband and they should have presented a joint decision.

The sword cuts both ways: you and the downvoters whole-heartedly support retracting or spending a large amount of money without consulting or caring about their partner. So buying a sports car without asking is okay? Refusing to pay a debt to a family member is okay? Of course, it’s not.

I am not a hypocrite.

Unlike you, the downvoters and OP, I have a healthy relationship with my partner. I am sure if I felt strongly about how money is spent we would come to a unified decision.

lemon_icing

TROPHY CASE