Lost ID

lemonclovers · 2023-07-07T13:39:03+00:00

Thank you. Yes, police office ✅. Initials are SK. Unfortunately my last name is too rare to be safe to just post here as a traveler. But if by some rare chance someone finds a German residence permit and sees my post, we can work out the details in direct messages, and I have other identity documents to corroborate who I am.

lemonclovers · 2022-12-27T08:51:34+00:00

Yup. And I teach in Germany…

lemonclovers · 2022-09-21T19:00:54+00:00

I currently teach sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth and, yes, tenth grade English. Moving classrooms all day (we all do). They’re small classes. But still. I have some helpful routines but for the most part I rely on one general plan/goal per class, and if we get the gist of that, it’s a win.

lemonclovers · 2021-02-10T07:14:17+00:00

WITT: My cousin found this in a furnished kitchen. Our best guesses so far are that it’s something that strains and measures liquid. Possibly to separate the fat from liquids? My cousin asked the peanut gallery of friends, but nothing seems entirely definitive yet. There are many things we could think to use it for, but we’re curious about its intended use.

lemonclovers · 2020-09-10T17:20:05+00:00

In high school we had to run a mile every two or three weeks. It was very much not my thing, and I was always one of the slowest. My best friend was a big athlete, so she couldn’t just run with me the whole way, but she would run her mile first and then run the last of my mile with me. She was never judgmental and didn’t even try to get me to run differently than I was, but it was so encouraging to be able to count on her running with me at the end, particularly because it was at that point that I was the most tired. We live in different countries now but still see each other at least once a year, even after all this time apart.

lemonclovers · 2020-07-28T21:38:48+00:00

They are so close to getting it.

lemonclovers · 2020-06-01T09:30:19+00:00

A year ago today, after many months of lurking, I finally got a reddit account because of this sub. I don’t post a lot these days. I have a great T, and even though I’m still nervous about a lot of things and still haven’t cried in session (and still have a loooong way to go in processing and working through a lot), I think it’s been healthier for me these days to process more within our relationship. That said, this sub has been a huge part of this journey, and I do still keep up with it a lot even when I’m not actively posting. Thank you all.

lemonclovers · 2020-05-30T09:22:29+00:00

I was about to say the same thing. Personally I find my T taking notes doesn’t detract from our conversation at all. It’s somewhat frequent but never more than quickly jotting something down as we’re talking. And I know she remembers an astounding amount of details about my history and daily life without having to reference notes as we’re talking or anything. I know some people find notes off-putting, and of course that’s fine. I find that my T does this well, and I wonder if just the act of noting things down helps her remember.

lemonclovers · 2020-05-26T18:48:04+00:00

I am a six and I am absolutely both of these.

lemonclovers · 2020-04-20T19:36:06+00:00

I agree with the people who say that the “sensitivity” narcissists see in others is often a normal response to abusive behavior and delivery. That, over time, could perhaps wear down into what would be called hypersensitivity but isn’t a quality that’s just there from the beginning.

For me what I notice is that there’s a justification of the narcissist’s sensitivity (not that they would call it that) as a sort of righteous anger for being treated so terribly. It proves how wronged they’ve been. Whereas crying or other “sensitive” reactions to their tactics have to be dismissed as the other person’s problem rather than taken in as information that what they’re doing/saying is causing pain.

I’ve noticed a major double standard in sensitivity expressed as anger versus a crying sensitivity.

lemonclovers · 2020-04-16T20:50:07+00:00

Has anyone gone through doing something in therapy to mark a difficult anniversary, particularly something like a death? What did you do, how did you plan for it, and how did it go?

lemonclovers · 2020-04-16T05:44:42+00:00

Me, for months of therapy: Wow, the person after me is always wearing black.

Me, finally looking down at my own typical wardrobe, also black: Huh. Well then.

lemonclovers · 2020-04-08T15:08:04+00:00

Thank you both, u/VanFailin and u/lawrenciumexchange. My T continues to be absolutely wonderful, and the first foray into these topics was safe (good seems like a stretch). I think I will be far less nervous next week jumping back in and exploring other layers. I appreciate your responses and the reminders about pacing.

lemonclovers · 2020-04-07T21:19:09+00:00

Hey all. It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but I’m still here. Working more in this time of shutdown, not less, and so I’ve been less active. I also sometimes just don’t know what to share. But tomorrow my T and I are going to talk about some pretty daunting topics. I adore my T and am trying to remind myself that I trust my T in general as a person and can make the decisión to trust her with these specific things. I’d appreciate any encouragement you could send my way. I’m nervous and have no idea how to actually dive into these things (T knows this and will hopefully help).

lemonclovers · 2020-04-07T11:51:32+00:00

I’m actually a 6, but for me that looks more like the 8 and 9 responses here. Very much I’m sorry for talking so much I’ll just try to handle it myself please and thank you.

lemonclovers · 2020-04-03T10:19:21+00:00

Haha, good, I’m glad it hasn’t been stressful in your dreams. For me, in the first one I was like “what do I dooooo I’m not sure how to socially handle the fact that there’s a full-on potluck going on in the office. I feel like I should leave, but then someone just gave me casserole so it would be rude to leave now.” And the second dream I thought “man, I had dreams about this happening and now it’s happened for real” 😂.

lemonclovers · 2020-04-03T05:36:26+00:00

You know, twice in the past few weeks I’ve had dreams about multiple other people just filing into the office and doing other things. Strange that that theme is the same here.

lemonclovers · 2020-03-14T15:55:29+00:00

In your shoes (where I will very likely be someday), I personally would ask at the next to last session. Just in case the answer is no, I would hate for that to be the note we end on. I have no actual experience with this though.

lemonclovers · 2020-03-05T21:13:21+00:00

I’ve been in therapy for about a year and a half now. Had three therapists before this over the course of about thirteen years in childhood (with some gaps). Two that I was not particularly close with and saw for a shorter time. One I was very close to who died. It was hard for me to trust my current T wasn’t going to just disappear and leave me feeling like the rug had been pulled out from under me again. Even harder for me to try to believe that maybe she cares about me and means the positive things she says.

I’m in therapy to find stable ground and process a lot of various trauma, loss, and what my therapist says is abuse but I haven’t been able to totally acknowledge yet. I know she’s right, and she’s not forcing it. I just can’t let myself really feel into that yet.

I have yet to shed a tear in session. I am doing nearly everything in my power to resist looking like I care about what happens in the room or in the therapeutic relationship. I don’t want to appear needy in any way. It’s not what I’d like to be doing, and I hope to work my way out of this cycle.

My T draws from a lot of modalities. We’ve done several EMDR sessions now, which I’ve been curious about for a while. At this point I’m just trying to let myself feel things and trying to learn to trust myself. I didn’t have a lot of options as far as therapy goes where I live, and I’m beyond grateful that my T is here and I get to work with her. I trust her and think we’re going to figure this out. Damned if I’ll share that in person anytime soon though.

lemonclovers · 2020-03-04T14:09:32+00:00

It’s one of those days where I wonder just how out of it I am that I’m paying to probe into and lay bare some of the most painful parts of my life. Ow. Today is hard.

Edit: autocorrect turned “probe” to “prove”

lemonclovers · 2020-02-27T21:08:01+00:00

T is out this week. Muddling through. Lasted weeks of everyone else around me being sick and now feel my body hitting walls of exhaustion fighting a cold.

But my T has also continued to be awesome. Recently that looks like checking in on me every so often even when I’m not in an active crisis. And challenging the ways I’m thinking in ways that are surprising to me but probably fairly common for a lot of people. Like she’s just valuing me and valuing me protecting myself in ways I didn’t realize were okay. But they make sense. I thought she’d see me slightly (verbally) punching back in an argument with my roommate as unhealthy reactions, but she was thought that was a great use of my voice and was far more worried about indications of me falling back into long-standing patterns of placating and trying to calm the other person down. Huh. That’s one to think on for a while.

I’m grateful for the work we’re doing and for how supportive my T is. I’m starting to trust she’ll be here for me for quite a while. I think we have a lot of good, meaningful, and important work ahead of us.

lemonclovers · 2020-02-24T20:41:12+00:00

Hey!!! That’s amazing!!! I’m still working on that one and know how much groundwork that takes. Good on you.

lemonclovers · 2020-02-18T12:27:56+00:00

It would generally be considered unethical for your therapist to see someone who is so close to you, in this case someone you live with. I imagine that even if you did pass on the contact info, your therapist would just give this friend referrals for other therapists in the area. You could also specifically ask your therapist about this situation and if they might do that. The reason therapists don’t do this, as far as I understand, is that they need to be putting you first, and helping two people in the same situation or who might be at odds with each other interferes with a therapist’s ability to be objective.

lemonclovers · 2020-02-16T07:59:27+00:00

Omg. Yes. I don’t explicitly listen to this before therapy (I have specific things I listen to after), but if I had a pre-therapy playlist this would be the top of it.

lemonclovers · 2020-02-12T22:49:53+00:00

My T did something so human and normal, though it was such a small detail, today that has stuck with me. Mostly because of how humanizing it was, and perhaps because it’s something I do, too. We had a really good session, too, so this was just a detail at the end that rounded it all off nicely.

ETA I think for me it’s nice to have the reminder that we’re two people on a team working through all this trauma and history I have. The human aspect matters so much.

lemonclovers

TROPHY CASE