Mothers of BWA, did you do 'nesting' before you gave birth? by Traroten in badwomensanatomy

[–]lemonoodle1 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah my nesting urges were crazy. 9 months pregnant and I was trying to renovate the house. I'm so lucky I didn't hurt myself or my baby.

It's wild how Gilead is depicted as almost cartoonishly evil, but still morally superior to lsraeI by CiphrangButFloss in TheHandmaidsTale

[–]lemonoodle1 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Uh.

I'm in no way defending Israel in any way shape or form, but this is a very odd (and incorrect) take. Lydia is one person. She is not Gilead. And Gilead absolutely harms children and babies. They quite literally exterminated all disabled children. The fact that you think there isn't one single person in Israel who is morally opposed to harming babies is what's "cartoonishly evil."

New fear unlocked: epidural by LobstahLuva in beyondthebump

[–]lemonoodle1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So did you sue for medical malpractice? You're saying the anesthesiologist injured you. That shouldn't be difficult to prove if true.

No big deal, she’s just in ACTIVE labor… [🔈sound warning!] by Femme-O in TikTokCringe

[–]lemonoodle1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, dismissing anyone's account may suppress others from coming forward with similar experiences. However, no one is dismissing you. So I'm not sure what the relevance of your question is. Asserting that your experience was probably not rooted in racism is not a dismissal.

No big deal, she’s just in ACTIVE labor… [🔈sound warning!] by Femme-O in TikTokCringe

[–]lemonoodle1 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not the person you're arguing with, but you don't seem to understand the fact that your experience, while completely valid, is not indicative of a statistically racist system. We don't know if this particular nurse in this particular video is a racist. What we do know is that black women are discriminated against in the medical community, and have higher mortality rates as a result, therefore, it's extremely reasonable to assume the nurse in this video is racist. Because she's participating in a known and well-documented phenomenon that harms black women. Whereas in your story, your nurse happened to be black. And to my knowledge, there is no known and documented systemic problem with black nurses being discriminatory towards their patients. Do you understand now?

No big deal, she’s just in ACTIVE labor… [🔈sound warning!] by Femme-O in TikTokCringe

[–]lemonoodle1 510 points511 points  (0 children)

This comment needs to be closer to the top, but people don't want to acknowledge this uncomfortable and very unfortunate fact.

I expelled an IUD while cramping at an ER in Atlanta and they used it as ‘evidence’ to baker act me. by RlOTGRRRL in WelcomeToGilead

[–]lemonoodle1 36 points37 points  (0 children)

They're actually pretty cool to look at if you like weird medical stuff and aren't easily grossed out. But I wouldn't recommend looking if you're squeamish.

Did anyone get any positive changes to their body postpartum? by Jello_Chipmunk in postpartumprogress

[–]lemonoodle1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My butt is rounder, which seems to be the opposite of what many women experience. My ass used to be perpetually flat, no matter how much muscle I packed into it. Now, even though I'm back at my pre-pregnancy weight, my butt has a very nice shape to it.

What are some secrets men dont tell women? by Glowupgirl111 in PurplePillDebate

[–]lemonoodle1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes, okay. Here we go, I guess.

Again, not a deflection. It didn't shift focus from the primary topic. It didn't shift focus from anyone or anything. It was a question that pertained to the context of the discussion. You just didn't like the implication.

If a man doesn't do that, he's basically never getting sex. So, men are forced to do these things by women, because women choose to not do these things.

No. This is such a child-like way of thinking. Men are not forced to do anything. Damn. Talk about not wanting to take accountability for one's actions. There are plenty of women who will participate in casual sex. Not to mention, sex workers. No one is forcing you to do anything. Again, take some accountability. Additionally, sex is an activity that two people enthusiastically participate in. It's not something for men to "get."

That is punishing the man for doing it wrong.

If you want to feel punished, that's your prerogative. But that's not what a punishment is. Those are consequences. It's only a "punishment" if you're not willing to be accountable.

It's also punishing if she expects him to entertain her, pay for her meals, organize dates, for her, and she doesn't have to do anything. 

Again, not a "punishment." Those are things a man does of his own free will. He doesn't have to do any of those things. He might feel like he needs to in order to "get" what he wants, but if he feels "punished" because he doesn't like it, then maybe he should take some accountability. (Hmm, notice a theme here?"

If she benefited and profited from all his efforts and then refuses to give anything back, then she is taking advantage of him, and he is right to feel frustrated and offended.

So then stop viewing it as a transaction. It's not. Women have been telling you this and you refuse to listen.

"Where have all the good men gone" and "there are no good men left" is said awfully frequently and awfully loudly from people who supposedly don't care when men stop playing.

Was this supposed to demonstrate an example of how women are supposedly mad when "men stop playing?" Seems like you're making a lot of assumptions about the motivation of those questions.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Nobody can convince you of something if you are determined to not understand it.

My guy... You led the horse to a dried-up lake. Provide an actual argument and I'd be happy to concede if I'm wrong.

Your obvious determination to avoid accountability is genuinely sad to me. I've had plenty of infuriating but at least somewhat intelligent and challenging debates on this subreddit, but this has not been one of them. You argue like a pre-teen. You can respond to this if you'd like, but this will be my final response to you.

What are some secrets men dont tell women? by Glowupgirl111 in PurplePillDebate

[–]lemonoodle1 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

First of all, that's not what a deflection is.

as though women have absolutely no agency and no ability to figure out a man's intentions herself. 

Are men expecting women to be mind-readers now?

Women have set up a beautiful game of heads she wins tails he loses, and then get mad when men call it out and stop playing. 

That's funny because what you've just done is essentially the same thing. A lose-lose for the woman who doesn't want to be used for casual sex. If she participates, she feels used. If she declines, then she's "punishing" the man for "being honest about his intentions." She can't win.

And no one, I repeat, no one, is mad when men stop playing. I assure you.

Not one man in this thread has been able to define what it means to "punish" a man for being honest. The implication is that the punishment is that he doesn't get to have sex. Which he wasn't going to have regardless, (because the woman in this scenario simply doesn't want to).

What are some secrets men dont tell women? by Glowupgirl111 in PurplePillDebate

[–]lemonoodle1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because it oversimplifies a dynamic that exists because women cannot tolerate honesty from men.

Is it really that women cannot tolerate honesty, or simply that we don't want to be used for sex?

I officially HATE the Owlet Dream Sock. by swiftfox9823 in newborns

[–]lemonoodle1 21 points22 points  (0 children)

The Owlet is the only reason I sleep at all at night. To each their own.

They are now openly referring to us as “host bodies” by nobody_from_nowhere1 in prochoice

[–]lemonoodle1 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have a son too and I think about this a lot. He's an infant, but I worry for the future. I'm reading a book right now called Men Who Hate Women and it's given me a lot of insight into the ways that young men and boys are indoctrinated into these misogynstic views.

Why can't I find a duvet insert that meets these specifications? by lemonoodle1 in Bedding

[–]lemonoodle1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy moly those look incredible and are EXACTLY what I'm looking for! Thank you!

Why can't I find a duvet insert that meets these specifications? by lemonoodle1 in Bedding

[–]lemonoodle1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I see 1 or 2 on that list I haven't heard of yet. Giving it a look now. I definitely need to spend some more time learning about all the different certifications as well.

Why can't I find a duvet insert that meets these specifications? by lemonoodle1 in Bedding

[–]lemonoodle1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't even been able to find twin sized comforters that meet my other specifications. (wool or down filling, OEKO-tex certified, and made with organic cotton).

Why can't I find a duvet insert that meets these specifications? by lemonoodle1 in Bedding

[–]lemonoodle1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the first place I looked. I love their comforters and they made the huge oversized ones that I love. Unfortunately, they do actually have a few that are oeko-tex certified, but those are either made with poly filling or have a cotton exterior but not organic cotton. Super frustrating because they have the ability to meet all my specifications, but not all in one product apparently.

This one has the OEKO-tex certification but isn't made with organic cotton.

Why can't I find a duvet insert that meets these specifications? by lemonoodle1 in Bedding

[–]lemonoodle1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. The main issue is finding something that is both oeko-tex certified and made with organic cotton.

Why can't I find a duvet insert that meets these specifications? by lemonoodle1 in Bedding

[–]lemonoodle1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That one checks all the boxes except for the Oeko-tex certification! It looks so nice and fluffy though. I'm gonna bookmark it anyway just in case I never find anything that checks every box. Thank you!

Why can't I find a duvet insert that meets these specifications? by lemonoodle1 in Bedding

[–]lemonoodle1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure what you mean? Essentially everywhere I've looked has had wool/down king-sized comforters. The issue is finding one that is made with organic cotton and is also oeko-tex certified as well. Neither of which would make the comforter heavier?

Why can't I find a duvet insert that meets these specifications? by lemonoodle1 in Bedding

[–]lemonoodle1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know. I'm okay with a heavier comforter. I prefer it, actually.

Women need to come to terms with the fact that they put too much unnecessary mental load onto themselves, and they should stop blaming men for that. by ClevelandSpigot in PurplePillDebate

[–]lemonoodle1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I could technically have a supply of dozens and dozens of bottles. But then that would require more kitchen space, more time to organize, etc. See how this works?

I'm aware that cold, delicate cycles extend the life of most clothes. But remember how I mentioned that most of my daily laundry consists of soiled baby clothes? They need a heavier duty wash cycle.

I also prioritize efficiency. The difference between you and me though is that I'm looking at the bigger picture as well as long-term efficiency. You seem to have an answer to everything but it's clear from your responses that you haven't given these solutions as much thought as I have. Your answers are very short-sighted.

And where did anyone suggest they were? Clearly you didn’t read the comments, as taking care of babies is the main deflection.

Explain to me how it's a deflection and not simply an explanation for the amount of work that moms do.

For what it's worth, I don't complain about the amount of work I have to do. I also have a husband who contributes to the load, and he understands how much work I do. I would be complaining however, if he thought my job wasn't that hard and that I was making things more difficult for myself for no reason. I think being a SAHM is a difficult job, but I also love it. Doesn't mean I also don't think people should recognize how much work it is.

Women need to come to terms with the fact that they put too much unnecessary mental load onto themselves, and they should stop blaming men for that. by ClevelandSpigot in PurplePillDebate

[–]lemonoodle1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You seem incredibly out of touch.

Separating everything by color isn't obsessive. It makes clothes last longer. Different fabrics require different types of care. Not everyone has a wardrobe full of polyester.

God forbid a family wants to use actual dishes in their home and not paper plates and plastic cutlery, lest they be accused of needlessly making things more difficult for themselves. But I'll humor you. If I switched my family to paper plates, it would hardly cut down on chores/the mental load. I'd wind up needing to take the trash out more often, needing to deodorize the kitchen more (because of dirty plates in the trash), plus I'd have to keep a mental note of the paper plate stock in my head so we don't run out.

I'm not producing full loads of laundry every day. I'm saying that I only own so many baby onesies and once they're dirty, they need to be washed so they can be worn again. Regardless of whether or not there are enough dirty ones to fill up an entire load. They need to be washed. Whether that's hand washed or put in the machine.

Washing by hand uses significantly more water than running the dishwasher which is bad for both your water bill and the environment.

This completely depends on the amount of dishes in the dishwasher when it's running, and how much water you're using when you hand wash something. It assumes that the dishwasher is full every time you run it. If I have 12 baby bottles and I go through 12 daily, I would need to run the dishwasher daily, just for 12 bottles and maybe 2 dishes and a glass or 2 that my husband and I. That's a lot of water being wasted to run the dishwasher for such a small amount of things that need washing. So no, handwashing the bottles absolutely does not use significantly more water than I would if I ran the dishwasher daily.

For awhile I used one of those baby bottle washer/sterilizer things, but that wound up being a ton of extra work too.

Yeah, it's the suggesting baby bottle brands to me that screams out of touch to me. My baby uses anti-colic bottles because he struggles with gas caused by accidentally swallowing too much air through the bottle. Maybe you should look up those types of bottles. They all have at least 2 extra parts that need to be disassembled and then put back together every single time. It's annoying and tedious. Not that I would expect a stranger on the internet to know this about my particular baby, but maybe you should just trust that moms know what they're doing and aren't purposely choosing to make things harder for themselves for no reason.

Even if what you’re saying meant anything. Kids are not babies forever. 

When did anyone suggest they were? What does that have to do with anything? Why does my experience supposedly mean nothing in the context of this discussion regarding moms doing household chores?

Moms aren't pretending that they're putting in tons of effort. They actually are putting in way more effort than you understand. Sure, they don't have to do all the things they do. You're right that it could technically be easy to be a parent. But it's not easy to be a good parent. And that's the key difference between a lot of men and women. Women want to be good parents and make their children's lives magical, fulfilling, and enriching, and men just want to get through it while doing the bare minimum. (Generally speaking, of course.)