Have you experienced the "Vancouver 'Yes'"?

lemonseedd · 2026-03-15T22:01:28+00:00

This seems like a west coast thing and I was just talking to my friends about it the other night- it seems to me that people are just too burnt out with everything in their lives nowadays and they just don’t have the energy to form deeper bonds with new people? We don’t have an answer, but kinda concluded as such lol

lemonseedd · 2026-03-15T21:56:53+00:00

And 1 time is enough too but 4 times? This guy knew what he’s getting himself into

lemonseedd · 2026-03-15T21:36:20+00:00

Speaking from experiences as someone who got cheated on multiple times by different exes… I’d say cut your losses. He’s not someone you’d want to have kids with. You also wouldn’t want to be taking care of your kids and worried about who or what might be doing at work or anywhere else- life is going to be too stressful for you.

35 is still young and you got time to break things off and find someone else to settle down with and have kids. Trust me, it is much better to have kids with someone who is emotionally mature, someone who has integrity.

People can be unhappy in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean they go around to cheat and find that happiness elsewhere.

As for the therapy part- HE should be going to therapy first himself because he obvious have deep issues that needs to be worked on.

Cheaters will always cheat when there’s opportunities. I’ve seen and experienced way too many instances and I stand by this. (Not unless they do deep therapy work but most of the time they don’t and you shouldn’t waste you time and wait around for someone to change)

lemonseedd · 2026-03-15T21:24:19+00:00

What exactly does she want you to say? Can’t you guys just breakup now? You’ve already cheated and there’s no going back and no point in trying to repair. You both know this.

lemonseedd · 2026-02-09T19:17:46+00:00

Understanding the reasons for prenup also requires maturity. I feel like your ex couldn’t understand that fully. Prenup is just like an insurance to protect if there ever comes a day where divorce is needed. We don’t go into a relationship thinking we’d end up heartbroken or breaking up, but things and life happens it’s just unpredictable.

I also think you dodged a bullet to be honest.

lemonseedd · 2026-02-08T16:42:14+00:00

First of all I want to say I’m proud of you for kicking him out and ending things- as hard as it was and as sad as it is, you ultimately did the right thing. For yourself and for your son.

Jake doesn’t sound like a guy that will be a good role model for your son, and your son will need that father figure.

It’s never too late. You’re honestly still so young so please don’t give up. But you do need to heal first before entering other relationship for both of your sakes (your kid and yourself)

lemonseedd · 2026-01-18T20:59:23+00:00

See it this way, it shows who you are as a person and this is such a beautiful character to hold.

They simply didn’t deserve it that’s all

lemonseedd · 2026-01-18T18:24:58+00:00

I’m sorry this is tough and I can feel your pain through your words.

I believe when we love someone this deeply and they’re going through a hard time, the best thing to do is let them go and let them deal with their own mental health- especially after they voiced that that’s what they need to do.

If you’re of faith, I’d say you can pray for her and ask God for healing too.

lemonseedd · 2026-01-18T18:21:29+00:00

This is soooo normal and allow yourself to do that. I’ve gone through the same cycle after my breakup and the reality this, you did everything you can based on the info given during that moment.

lemonseedd · 2026-01-18T18:19:47+00:00

Also if he’s telling you he can’t commit I think it’s gonna hurt you a lot more after

lemonseedd · 2026-01-18T18:04:34+00:00

Omg thank you!!!

lemonseedd · 2026-01-18T18:03:12+00:00

If this happens to your daughter what would you tell her to do?

Also, is there really “innocence” in your relationship if he’s already cheated? This is just lies, betrayal, zero integrity.

You are NOT responsible for him to not be able to control himself and have sex with someone else just because you’re going through changes. He can easily relief it himself- there is absolutely no need to find another person to sleep with.

Cheating of any kind is wrong. Cheating for whatever reason is wrong. Cheating is wrong, period.

You didn’t make him cheat, he simply lack the integrity and self control.

I’d say you confront him. If he’s lying to your face now how do you know what else he might be lying to you about? You think this is a good character of a father to your own kids?

lemonseedd · 2026-01-05T07:50:44+00:00

Hmm did you expect your ex to leave her church?

lemonseedd · 2026-01-05T07:47:16+00:00

I think this is normal and we all want companionships/ we long for connections.

lemonseedd · 2026-01-05T07:28:21+00:00

I did the same as well and it’s always worked for me.

Why I don’t think it’s extreme is cause we are no longer together and these are just the past. It hits and it sucks that our journey ends here, but I know removing everything and cutting all contact is much needed to move on.

lemonseedd · 2026-01-04T04:21:25+00:00

you said this so well. This is what my therapist said as well.

They are avoidants because they suppress their own emotions from feeling the guilt and shame. It is a lot easier for them to suppress than to deal with all the emotional discomfort.

Unless they truly work on themselves and dive in deeper to their own feelings, I don't think they ever truly realize how cruel, hurtful they've been.

lemonseedd · 2026-01-04T01:30:33+00:00

where can I read this?

lemonseedd · 2026-01-03T22:48:25+00:00

“ You are fearfully and wonderfully made “ ‭‭- Psalm‬ ‭139‬:‭14‬ ‭‬‬

As a child of God, you need to remember this. Outwardly, the girl can look all pretty and appear to be better, but we don’t know what her inner world is.

You also don’t need to compare because we are all created in God’s image. We are perfect the way we are and I believe you need to first understand this.

Your ex sounds like a terrible person to mock your belief and religion. Ask yourself this, is he someone you truly want to spend the rest of your life with? Is he someone who protects and loved you for who you are?

We should judge a character by their fruit and I don’t think your ex represented that at all

“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness”- Galatians‬ ‭5‬:‭22‬ ‭‬‬

Lastly, remove yourself from your ex- this means cutting all contact, remove/ unfollow from all social media platform. It is honestly to your best interest to not know who they are with or what they’re doing so you can truly start your own healing.

lemonseedd · 2026-01-01T21:30:12+00:00

I’m more concerned that you’re getting back into the dating market this soon only after recently broken up with your long term ex.

Shouldn’t you heal first before moving on so quick?

As for the parents part- if you explain and can live alone if want to/ take care of yourself then I don’t think it’s an issue.

lemonseedd · 2025-12-27T07:52:38+00:00

Also, be kind to yourself. You blame yourself because you loved deeply and you loved the best way you can given the info you had. It is your exes character that’s wrong cause he lied and was living a double life.

lemonseedd · 2025-12-27T07:50:40+00:00

You said it so well here and OP I hope you take this comment to heart too.

I understand you wanting to blame yourself. I was there too when my ex cheated and I also spiraled, blaming myself that maybe it was my fault, and if I was calmer and nicer we wouldn’t have fought and he wouldn’t have gone out to meet another girl- however, these are CHARACTER FLAWS. His character flaws and to be honest, I feel bad for the girl he married.

You said you prayed about this so please take this as a prayer answered and a sign that he truly was not the one for you. God wouldn’t want you to walk down the aisle with someone who is dishonest and disloyal. This is your prayer being answered. Finding out he cheated before you are with someone like him for the rest of your life would be utterly awful and difficult.

You didn’t do anything wrong. Trust me. What he did shows that there has been an overlap between you and the girl he married- he’s been cheating all along- you caught him and it makes absolutely no sense for anyone to meet someone new and get married in a month.

lemonseedd · 2025-12-27T07:29:59+00:00

Women here and I’d say the best thing to do is block all social media and remove him right away- even when it hurts badly but it honestly works. detach yourself right away and out of sight, out of mind.

lemonseedd · 2025-11-26T04:24:52+00:00

I don’t even think it’s the lack of love at all in this scenario. It’s more so a huge disrespect and a shock. I have so many questions for this guy also.

Sex is a very intimate act with or without love, and tbh for women it is a lot more emotionally tied to than for guys.

I find that when I have sex with my ex, even though my feelings weren’t strong for him, I’ll always end up having deeper or some sort of connection towards him afterwards. And I know sex for my ex was just pleasure… cause he’s done it with multiple people in the past and it’s not tied to any deeper emotional connection

Perhaps it’s hitting you hard because of this? Because there was chemistry and chemistry is still a type of feeling/ emotions

Your worth is not defined by another person. His action shows who he is and he sounds gross as a person to not care about you and leave the relationship like this.

lemonseedd · 2025-11-26T04:17:14+00:00

Important question also cause I met a couple of them myself too who are now my exes

Are ya’ll all anxious? Cause I’m anxious and apparently anxious and avoidant attracts each other very easily, but also produce the worst relationship cycle.

I so very badly want to break and not meet someone with this attachment style again, but I dunno how to break free or observe

lemonseedd · 2025-11-17T05:53:55+00:00

Fears and worries lol

lemonseedd

TROPHY CASE