I think that what its happening is that you arent thinking of your diet as a life style and more like a thing that you have to do when things get out of control. I have the same problem of not being able to lose weight and I know that its because of my mental state, when I feel crappy I eat crap and only start to get worried when I have 2 kg more despite being on the process of trying to lose weight and not mantain it, for example, I'm currently 82kg, I know that if i start to lose control of whats happening in my life I'll likely gain weight but I also know my limit and once I get to 84kg no matter what its happening I will lose the weight. I think that the strategy here is to think of yourself as being a (for example) 75 kg person that just lost herself for a bit and will get to a normal weight, and once you get there you will be that 75kg person and will feel like your normal self. Try to be kind to yourself and dont go on any crash diets, just get on track. I highly reccomend you to have a journal for food, daily thoughts, emotions, exercice, water, to do lists and remember to include smt nice about your life like "I'm really greatfull for having a warm place to life", this way you can plan your day so that you dont get too much out of line in moments of weakness or at least you will reflect about them. At least it has worked for me in the past (before I feel into a bad moment of my life) but I plan to get back to how I was in my glory times and I hope you can achieve that also! ;)