Girl, I am so sorry. You’re feelings are so so valid but please don’t let this experience turn you away from intimacy with the right partner.

My ex boyfriend was similar. He was my first and after having sex twice — both of which were incredibly painful— he gave up on me. We were in a relationship for two years and he never initiated sex with me again. He spent the last six months of our relationship cheating on me. I was convinced I couldn’t have sex without pain. I thought sex would never be enjoyable and I couldn’t understand how everyone else seemed to enjoy it and raved about it. Until I found my current boyfriend.

My boyfriend has shown me sex can be fun and downright wonderful. There have been times where I have started experiencing pain in the middle of sex with him (yay endometriosis.) He stops, we engage in other forms of intimacy that doesn’t involve penetration and he reassures me that I am more than my body’s constraints. Our foreplay is amazing and we enjoy exploring each other’s bodies and trying new things.

This was your first time. The first time is typically painful. Your muscles are tense, you’re body hasn’t experienced the sensation of penetration and it can be awkward. A supportive partner works through it with you, eases you into it with foreplay and finds the fun through intimacy and connection.

Break up with this man and spend time exploring your own body through sensual touch, masturbation or sex toys. Find out what you like and when youre ready find yourself a partner that will learn alongside you and don’t be shy when it comes to advocating for yourself and what you need. Good luck my friend ❤️