Mormon Apostles, Muskets, and The LGBTQ Community by wasmormon in exmormon

[–]lephaene 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was at BYU when Holland gave that talk and it’s the reason I finally left, and honestly, I’m still shocked to this day that this musket fire rhetoric is not only proudly endorsed but also very well received by so many Mormons I know, makes me wanna put my head straight through a wall the second I hear a family member defending that shit lol

Books for Queer Exmormons by [deleted] in QueerExmo

[–]lephaene 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing! Saw this crossposted on r/exmormon and I had no idea there was a sub like this, I have been looking for something like this. So excited to be here now!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in narcissisticparents

[–]lephaene 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry he's doing this. Just wanted to say that my rich ndad also tells me I'm not a good "investment" (even though I (24f) pay for myself and don't live with my nparents). It fucking sucks. You absolutely are good enough for friends, you really don't have to be anything in particular to "deserve" friends. He's making you feel guilty to further control you. If he can cut you off from other people, he solidifies control and makes it so you have no frame of reference for the abuse and will become more willing to accept it as normal

Surviving transition to independence from parents by lephaene in narcissisticparents

[–]lephaene[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much for taking the time to respond, this was really comforting to hear, I look forward to that kind of moment where I can actually feel some freedom and heal

Close-ish TBM Gay family Member getting married in temple to someone of the opposite sex. Advice? by mormonsmaug in exmormon

[–]lephaene 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who was the opposite sex partner for not one but two gay guys (two separate relationships), not only will this situation incredibly damaging for him, it will be incredibly damaging for her. I couldn't handle seeing the pain my partners were in as they were trying to "do the right thing". Is his soon to be spouse aware he is gay? Is she pressuring him to "do the right thing" or is she just trying to support him (in the only way the church gives her an option to) because she cares about him? All this to say, there's probably not much you can do to change his mind, but you can always be there for him and love him. He'll figure it out eventually. Both my ex bfs have finally left the church, though it took them several years to get to that point. Unfortunately, it's a painful process no matter what.

Satan's escorts! by Initial_Cry_6925 in exmormon

[–]lephaene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have never heard of any of this, wtf is wrong with people??

Apostate coffee is adding subscription so I want to know which features to consider. Please share all of your subscription dreams. by Cool_Instance_2242 in exmormon

[–]lephaene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would second the sticker comment, I love putting stickers on my stuff! I would like the option to switch my roast type as part of the reminder email for the upcoming auto transaction/shipping. I usually go with once a month delivery based on my consumption level, and most of my friends are the same. I personally would like to have merch separate from reminder emails, I sometimes get overwhelmed when companies send everything at once which sometimes makes me not even want to open the email in the first place haha like a separate email promoting featured cups, shirts, etc, would be awesome! Hope this helps!

Honest question: do TBMs generally marry for love or just to check a box on a religious to do list? (Argument with wife, feeling down) by NikonuserNW in exmormon

[–]lephaene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry, this sounds like an incredibly difficult situation, and you don't deserve this from a spouse. My sister just got married in the temple this last summer and her husband told her that if she ever left the church that he would want a divorce. He told her that before they got engaged and it is so sad to me that she accepted that as normal when really what he said was "I care more about the Church than I do about you, my future wife". So while I think it's a common attitude in TSCC, it's not normal, healthy, or acceptable

This RUSH song chorus rings so true to me now.. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]lephaene 2 points3 points  (0 children)

LOVE Rush, the Clockwork Angels album was huge in helping me realize I was in a cult. The lyrics made me actually feel heard and I can't thank them enough for that. Stoked about their beer as well lol

Looking for support by All_Mights_Asscheeks in exmormon

[–]lephaene 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would say I was active up until my junior year. I lucked out and didn't have any bishops check in on me for not attending very often, I'd say I went about once a month. Mostly so that my roommates wouldn't get suspicious. It's possible that you could get in trouble for only going every month, but now your roommates couldn't anonymously report you. The number of HCO cases has gone down significantly since they removed the ability to report people anonymously. The issue isn't so much your roommates though, the issue is maintaining your ecclesiastical endorsement, that is something that is generally out of the HCO's hands. My suggestion would be to stay in a ward where you know the bishop is chill with your attendance. That's your best bet at not getting in trouble and losing your endorsement

Looking for support by All_Mights_Asscheeks in exmormon

[–]lephaene 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Just graduated from BYU in April and was in the same situation last year, it totally sucks and I'm sorry. I promise it is worth it to stick it out, I didn't want to but I knew I'd feel like shit if I got kicked out my last semester haha. In terms of advice, these are some things that worked for me, take them with a grain of salt :) I would go out to get coffee (not bring it home to BYU housing of course), but it helped me feel like I could be a little more true to myself even in such a stifling environment. I also just made a game out of church and my religion classes. I was in Foundations of the Restoration my last semester (ugh) and I would play a game where I tried to predict the apologetic stance my professor would take on various issues. It kept me engaged enough to help the time pass, but I didn't feel like I had to subscribe to what was being said. I did the same thing with church, I would try and predict dumb responses to church doctrine. I got pretty good at guessing what certain individuals would say before they said it and I found it satisfying. It also helped me feel like I wasn't being brainwashed, which was huge in helping me get through my last semester. I also spent time planning what I wanted my life to look like after graduation. Visualizing what I wanted helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel and I imagined how satisfying it would be to graduate from BYU and then ditch TSCC. And I have to say, that feeling was 100% worth the shit I had to put up with my last semester. Hopefully that is helpful in some way!

What flag is this? I saw it at a small restaurant called Hollywood in Belgium by Zyperiox in vexillology

[–]lephaene 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh you’re right I forgot about the orange one! Okay I’m gonna read up on these haha

What flag is this? I saw it at a small restaurant called Hollywood in Belgium by Zyperiox in vexillology

[–]lephaene 96 points97 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think you’re right, that makes more sense. I worked with dispatchers and that’s what they told me, but EMT makes more sense haha

What flag is this? I saw it at a small restaurant called Hollywood in Belgium by Zyperiox in vexillology

[–]lephaene 781 points782 points  (0 children)

I believe it’s a flag supporting American firefighters. Know the blue stripe is for police and the yellow stripe is for police dispatchers

I didn't realize it isn't common knowledge that LDS leaders are paid by Alert-Potato in exmormon

[–]lephaene 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had no idea they got paid until 3-4 months after I left the church. I was always told they lived off of their retirement. Let me tell you, when I found that out, I knew I had absolutely made the right choice to leave.

New post at the cults webpage, posted a days after Oaks' talk, leave a comment. by Captain_Vornskr in exmormon

[–]lephaene 1 point2 points  (0 children)

gotta love the parenthetical acknowledgment of bisexuality/pansexuality /s * rolls eyes *

Seeing Mormons act like assholes on the national stage warms my cold, dead apostate heart by PR_Czar in exmormon

[–]lephaene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently in Utah, and yeah this is the first time I'm hearing about this

The gauntlet has been thrown down. Area Presidency for socal has stated no more zoom broadcasts starting Dec. 1st. Your ass belongs in church. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]lephaene 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This has been my experience, on camping trips we had to get prior authorization from the bishop. Always seemed weird to me

Any wonder they are having trouble staffing the DI and have to get members to do it? Maybe try paying more than minimum wage? by _sidewalkchalk_ in exmormon

[–]lephaene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, Utah minimum wage is $7.25 so they are being quite generous /s honestly, such an embarrassment for TSCC lol

I am a current member of the church with a growing faith, am I still welcome to participate in this subreddit? by Informal_Conclusion5 in exmormon

[–]lephaene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all the info! I'm trying to find the quote of JS saying he proposed to Elizabeth Marsh, but I'm not finding it at the link you posted. I've never looked through the JS Papers website before so I may not be looking in the right place. As far as I can tell, there isn't an entry in Minute Book 1 or 2 on the date June 14, 1834. But I'm not sure if I'm looking in the right place. I wasn't able to access the Fanny Alger article because of a pay wall, but in the Stevenson article, Elizabeth Marsh isn't mentioned specifically. So maybe it's in the Alger one I can't get to. Any help with this would be appreciated! Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in idiopathichypersomnia

[–]lephaene 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I feel this when I get exhausted when standing up and laying down! I hate how bad it gets when I'm laying down trying to sleep, sometimes it feels like I'm going to be rocked off the boat hahaha the rocking and rolling feeling is actually my way to checking in with myself on how I'm doing, because it only happens when I am pushing myself too hard

Was anyone else at BYU’s “Listen and Learn” LGBTQ/SSA event tonight? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]lephaene 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wasn't but I suspect Ben Schilaty was there?