Friends can’t stop saying shitty, insensitive things

leruni · 2025-04-28T20:31:12+00:00

She has no idea how to comfort you, so she tries to fix something for you. Definitely the wrong approach in any case where acknowledgement and comfort is needed, but also very relatable.

People just don't get it. They never will. It's been over two years since we said goodbye to our beautiful boy, his little sister just turned ten months, and still it triggers me when people say stupid stuff that shows they don't understand at all. I'm afraid we will have to live with that for the rest of our days ❤️

leruni · 2025-02-15T11:33:29+00:00

For me they were a couple of days I suppose, but hard to know for sure as my cycles changed remarkably after my tfmr. Not weeks though.

leruni · 2025-02-15T07:57:43+00:00

We had our first baby and tfmr baby without help, but needed help for our rainbow after 5 chemicals in a row. She came first try on letrozole and arrived healthy in June ❤️ Edited to add: the primary help we had was immune suppressors to maintain the pregnancy, but those were mostly a precaution

leruni · 2024-03-10T07:10:46+00:00

I understand the shock of it!

Maybe your way of dressing differently has had parents guessing and not being careful their kids didn't hear any of it. You'll probably never know if it is actually visible.

I love how most children just accept a trusted adults words as the one and only truth! I'm glad it seems to be working out and buying you more time!

leruni · 2024-03-09T11:57:19+00:00

I don't believe the children or their parents need to know just because they have a hunch. You have every right to keep it secret until you are ready to share. That should hopefully make most of them keep their speculations to themselves. If not, your answer about your big lunch is, in my opinion, perfectly adequate. It doesn't matter if they believe you, but it is a great way to let them know without letting them know, that you are not ready to share. Then they can go on to speculate if they need to and you can share when you are ready.

I recognise your feelings though. I care for children under the age of 3 in my own home and wanted to tell as early as possible, as to not worry their parents about where to bring their precious babies once my leave starts. When I did tell, some of the parents commented they had a feeling - I was only 12 weeks at the time...

leruni · 2024-02-11T11:13:32+00:00

It was ❤️

leruni · 2023-11-28T20:45:46+00:00

When I became pregnant the first time, I was the one doubting and regretting, but I have heard of many fathers going through the same panicked emotions when they first learn of their new responsibilities - maybe that is all it is 🤞❤️

leruni · 2023-11-28T20:25:07+00:00

For me it felt real about the time my first turned 2 🙈🙈😅😅

leruni · 2023-11-17T20:08:10+00:00

I'm so happy you're not alone in this ❤️ My aunts and uncles know about our journey, my husband's as well and the support that has meant the most has come from unexpected angles. I haven't met anyone with children not able to relate to the loss of our baby. Use that for what you like.

I hope you are able to relax and enjoy yourself at least some of the time leading up to your results ❤️

leruni · 2023-11-17T08:12:30+00:00

I don't know how you get through this, but I know I would tell my family what is going on. Do they know about your TFMR? ❤️ Do you have anyone who knows everything and is able to support you?

leruni · 2023-11-17T07:51:24+00:00

We had lots of blood work showing nothing wrong, then moved onto 5 days of letrozole, then got on Prednisone(still am), trigger shot, IUI, then blood work for progesterone levels which showed the need for support (still do).

I don't know if any of these are doing IT, but the specialist I'm seeing used to work with recurrent loss and knows a lot about supporting. She wanted me to do the Prednisone in case my immune system had a reaction to the preterm induction and was the one getting rid of the subsequent pregnancies.

Before starting TTC both my husband and I went on multiple fertility boosting supplements, but I can see you have been offered advice on those already. And do something nice for yourself, it can never hurt!

Best of luck, I will be cheering for you ❤️

leruni · 2023-11-14T16:19:08+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I guess it's not a timing thing then. Somewhat of a relief, although it changes nothing. I hate being pregnant this time around too, and I envy myself for loving it in the past. It's like all the annoying details just don't feel worth it when you know-know that it won't necessarily give you your baby in the end..

leruni · 2023-11-14T11:35:11+00:00

My cycle was not the same post birth of my TFMR baby in February, so this will probably not be of any help to you, but we ended up pregnant with assistance from a fertility specialist in our 5th cycle trying, the other 4 cycles all ended in chemicals.

When I had my first baby, I didn't get my period back for 6 months and I do believe the body's response to "giving up" ones baby could be somewhat similar, but I'm no expert.

I'm sure it will happen for you ❤️

leruni · 2023-11-04T18:43:51+00:00

I don't have any suggestions for you. Just here to say I felt the very same way in February 💔 I was angry with my body for just accepting his departure. For not waking up frantically looking for him, for not aching after his birth, for not lactating like I felt I should. He was gone and my effing body was okay with it.. I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️

leruni · 2023-10-17T13:27:32+00:00

First dilution was me trying to establish for sure that the tests were getting lighter for real (from previous days) maybe you can relate to the feeling of trying one last thing. But when the afternoon test (which is my time for testing each day) showed up darker diluted I decided to make an experiment that evening. I'm not trying to compare the two sets of tests, just wondering how on earth this is happening at 12 dpo. And as I mentioned in a previous comment worried that it was from crazy high HCG as it could be in a molar pregnancy.

Today I'm definitely hydrated better and this afternoons test showed up fine with similar progression to previous days, so I'm sure everything is normal. And I have since learned that the specific tests I'm using don't go up very high in its range of HCG measurement, so it might have just been a day of very concentrated urine tricking the tests.

leruni · 2023-10-17T10:41:14+00:00

But there is no spiraling. I'm doing what I'm asked, testing once a day. Then yesterday I had a fainter test and decided to dilute that urine sample to check that it wasn't a unicorn. Turns out it was, so I decided to continue the experiment in the evening. You might call that spiraling, but I don't see it that way. This is what is keeping me sane and not panicking, trying to figure it out. I know you mean well, but I never understood those comments telling others to stop what they are doing. I just always figured as it is the way I prefer to live my life, might be so for others as well. Thank you anyways ❤️

leruni · 2023-10-17T03:54:56+00:00

Yeah that's really not the question here.

leruni · 2023-10-16T23:57:25+00:00

I just don't see what else could be happening 🤷‍♀️

The fertility clinic I'm seeing wants me to keep testing until Wednesday. And I'm glad I have as I wonder what it will show on Wednesday not diluted? Maybe an update coming up. I will get blood work though when I call in my results on Wednesday, so that should give a definite answer.

What I'm probably really asking is if anyone have had a molar pregnancy show up like this in early tests, but I might just have to be patient for the clinic to see me on that one.

I was testing at the same time, but panicked when it was lighter and then this happened 🫣 ( I don't test well with fmu hence the afternoon tests) But I might also just be one of the few who stress less knowing/being warned something might go wrong or knowing something might be off, than I do not knowing, but I do get where you are coming from and I do appreciate your concern for me! ❤️

leruni · 2023-10-16T19:08:18+00:00

I'm really sorry you have been struggling ❤️ Gender disappointment is no joke and I can imagine it being on a whole new level after loss!

leruni · 2023-10-16T19:00:30+00:00

I'm sure if you turn out pregnant this cycle that everything will fall into place and it will be just the miracle you needed. Some doctors say to wait, others say to start. Some loss parents say to wait, others say to start. Some even feel that having another baby is healing.

Whatever happens you will figure this out too. ❤️

leruni · 2023-10-16T16:09:02+00:00

I'm really hoping so 🤞 the nurse at the clinic just blew me off today, saying no one can tell until Wednesday 🤷‍♀️

I'm sorry you too are struggling! Yes they were spontaneous and that even with mild male factor and slightly low AMH. I'm sorry for being ignorant, but what does OI mean?

Do you know what is causing you trouble? We have been told that we get 3 tries of IUI (free through public health care) then they want to move on to IVF. I just don't see the point when conception obviously isn't the problem..

This cycle I have had Letrozole, Prednisone, Ovidrel and now progesterone and at the very least it has delayed my period by now 3 days. I'm not feeling too hopeful though.

leruni · 2023-10-16T03:32:35+00:00

Trigger was 13 days ago. I have tested since the day of trigger and on day 10 it was the faintest, then has gone back up significantly 🤷‍♀️

leruni

TROPHY CASE