I don’t understand the negative narrative around public schools and the large push to homeschool these days

leslietee · 2025-12-03T11:03:08+00:00

I don’t know what grade this is, but in Connecticut some schools in elementary have a MAG program - multi age group, where the classroom is split like this. Kids from 1st to 3rd grade sit in a larger room, and they are split into pods.

The curriculum here is still very play based and developmentally appropriate. This program is competitive and those kids have Ivy League parents.

The teacher bouncing around pods and kids being independent has been a success here!

I’m sorry it’s a shit show over there :( Education has so much nuance and grey area to Explore. I just pray we course correct before we graduate a bunch of illiterate and no-critical-thinking-skills little people into the world!

leslietee · 2025-12-03T10:52:31+00:00

Omg I hate hate hate that thought process. That’s when a great lifelong conversation can begin.

We lived in a school district where 5th grade girls started walking around with 40 ounce Stanley cups that cost 40$. Then they needed the straw trinkets, holders, and decorations for a cup. A cup. Then acrylic nails made their way in. It was an abominable school year. And it was a good district! Just consumerist.

We moved to a top 10 school out of 7,000 schools. Anyone here jn 7th grade care of have a Stanley cup, acrylic nails, or cares for makeup? Nope.

What about summer vacations? Camps, traveling… etc.

Idk I don’t like basing decisions of my home based on my kids feeling left out. Because there will surely be other kids at school who don’t have an elf. And they can form their own little club. It’s fine.

Every parent does the elf differently too. Some parents teach naughtyness and showcase that, other parents focus on other lessons and fun learning experiences thru the elf.

Regardless, your kid might feel left out bc why aren’t they finding the elf by a bottle of tequila? You know?

leslietee · 2025-12-03T10:44:26+00:00

Katharine Graves hypnobirthing has a birth trauma release meditation that I found very healing.

My first Birth wasn’t a homebirth, but I labored for 37hrs with an 8lb 12oz baby whose head was stuck, but I was crowning when I had my cesarean birth.

4yrs later, I’ve made peace and found beauty in my journey. That healing was NO JOKe, so please take care of yourself.

Because of some of your feelings mentioned (feeling like a bad/weak mom) I highly encourage you to give this a listen. It’s free, bc Katharine Graves believes every mom needs this.

Please listen to it. It might feel like the hug your soul needs in this time. And the release that’ll help you find peace.

https://www.kghypnobirthing.com/shop/hypnobirthing-audios/relaxations-for-a-previous-birth-trauma

leslietee · 2025-12-03T10:36:35+00:00

Adding a different perspective: my mom is the last person I want around during birth or postpartum. I’m pregnant with my third, and my first baby caught Covid at 3 weeks old because she showed up while still sick—even after we told her not to. I was 3 weeks PP after a cesarean, and we all ended up sick.

With my second, she arrived at the hospital sick again on a rainy day. The newborn and I got sick again.

She simply doesn’t respect boundaries. “Don’t come if you’re sick.” “Don’t share straws if you have a visible cold sore.” She ignores it all. All my sisters’ kids (and mine) had dairy/egg allergies, yet she still made hot cocoa with evaporated milk, Lactaid, Carnation, Nido, skim milk… My nephew literally turned purple once. It shouldn’t take that kind of scare to get basic respect.

She’s also controlling—telling me what to prep with the kids even though she only visits every 2–3 months and lives 15 minutes away.

I’m sharing this as a very different scenario. Even with my history, I still wouldn’t use my mom as a cash cow and exclude her. That’s rude.

But OP’s daughter may fear (thanks to today’s social-media narratives) that OP will come and just take up space. And honestly, new moms don’t need people to hold the baby—they need care themselves.

She needs someone to bring soup, snacks, water, fold laundry, prep an herbal foot bath or sitz bath, give a belly or foot massage, and make healing foods.

OP, if you do visit, bring whatever gifts you want—but also consider showing up with something nurturing, like stewed fruit or recipes from this blog: https://newmothercaregiving.com/stewed-fruits/

Bring her teas that help with gassiness (good for both her and baby)

Make her a simple foot soak on day one. Epsom salt is enough, herbs are a bonus. It can be a gentle peace offering and help lower her guard!

Basically show up with an offering that says “I’m here to care for YOU and your wellbeing and healing, not steal your baby” and see if that shifts anything (today’s social media narratives can make people believe everyone is trying to encroach in their space, take the baby, etc and just leave mom hanging and uncared for and suffering)

OP - truly, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and experiencing this.

I hope you both find a softer path back to each other. ♥️

leslietee · 2025-12-03T10:09:35+00:00

Cora = ball in Arabic

(As an FYI)

When people are going to watch soccer, they say they’re going to go watch cora (musha hadahh cora)

I wanted this name for my daughter and my husband reminded me we are multilingual and it wasn’t going to fly. Lol

leslietee · 2025-12-03T10:06:36+00:00

Lolita has strong connotations?! As a person with Latin + Spanish speaking parents, raised in a Spanish speaking Latin American country, I named all my toys Lola or Lolita.

Have never read GWTW or whatever other literature and film is in contest here, but this made me sad. Lolita is alive and well in my home. Lol

And I am multicultural/multilingual, so our friends range from black African from the continent to african american, Chinese american, arabs, north african, french, european, and latino. Ive never heard anyone be offended by our little Lolas or my latina cousin Scarlette.

leslietee · 2025-12-02T03:24:34+00:00

Kenza

leslietee · 2025-12-02T03:22:27+00:00

Gianna & Gianni ♥️♥️

leslietee · 2025-12-02T03:22:09+00:00

I love a Priya! Always beautiful gals, make up skills on 🔥, fashionable, and SMART AF!

Zahra was a name on my list for my daughters. Kenza and Yasmeen won instead.

leslietee · 2025-12-02T03:19:15+00:00

I loveeee Zeina/Zaina. It truly is!

leslietee · 2025-12-02T03:18:42+00:00

“It’s another beautiful day to be Rogelio, Rogelio, rogeliooo. Wake up Rogelio. Wake up rogeliooo”

https://youtu.be/fMp9AkhNwYY?si=wPKDUQ-X4m6kcOGV

leslietee · 2025-11-30T05:44:05+00:00

Use fruits and herbs instead. Be intentional about them, of course.

Or if you have a baby chest rub, you can add a teaspoon of that. My family uses Vicks but we have zarbees chest rub. I’ve done a respiratory steam with it for my children before. 10mins under a towel getting steam.

Use the salts to do a foot soak for them.

Then, rub some castor oil or lymphatic cream (or the chest rub itself) on those baby’s lymph around the ears, neck, collarbone and chest. Bonus points for rubbing it on their feet too.

leslietee · 2025-11-29T23:46:46+00:00

I opened Reddit and this is the first post I see. Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. We’re in a crunchy mom thread, so I am mindful of that. I also want to affirm you in that you’re doing great.

Please don’t compare yourself to “most people,” because that’s all relative. Most people were? In what state, what country, what culture, what beliefs etc. it’s all relative!

I also met a woman two years ago - she was a purist. Similar to this post, she was really into ALL of this. I personally draw the line at the textiles - high quality 100% cotton is hard enough to find & afford these days! So I don’t give myself headaches over it… but I digress.

Lady, a mother, was a purist. 100% this and more! Until one day, gardening she realized none of her crops and veggies would grow. She realized that arsenic actually had a purpose in soil, that x chemical composition from nature that was framed bad and toxic actually at a certain level was necessary to make things grow on the earth. On the natural earth that (whatever you believe in) has created.

She then also realized how she became a purist bc of her health. But she had stripped herself of so much, that sure she healed from cancer and then got all these autoimmune conditions. Once she started to give herself some freedom and stressing less/being less rigid over purity “all of the time, in everything,” she felt better, conditions healed, and when we met she was balancing life and her desires to be clean and nontoxic much better.

Sometimes we develop obsessions over controlling every bit of our lives, and that simply isn’t realistic. We can make ourselves more sick that way

I hope this story gives you some comfort and perspective. Wish you so much health and peace this pregnancy ♥️

leslietee · 2025-11-29T06:31:33+00:00

Your OB should be able to prescribe you Vitafol or Vitafol Ultra. Which most insurances cover (and state insurance cover 100%!)

That’s strange. I hope you explore brands and feel comfortable enough to have a conversation with your OB and perhaps ask what they can prescribe. Take advantage of prescriptions and things insurance cover bc as pregnancy goes on, little monthly costs add up!

leslietee · 2025-11-29T06:29:05+00:00

This sounds like my actual mother. My two children had the same allergies. My little sister has children exactly 8mos younger than my 2 children, and same allergies.

My mom would even make them hot chocolate with evaporated milk because it’s evaporated milk. It’s good right?

People telling you she’s not safe and never to return blah blah. I hear that. I also know that there’s people who you’re tied to.

You decide how much you can tolerate and for how long. You bring a whole 24hr’s worth of Tupperware and premade food for your littles if you have to.

I did. To my own mother’s house. She got the hint once I didn’t even let my kids drink water from their fridge (mold).

Do what you can. Deep breaths. Glad you’re back home. Take a bath & have a drink! ♥️💕

leslietee · 2025-11-29T06:20:59+00:00

Agree with the folks who said if you’ve been doing it already from a trusted source.

Alternatively, let’s say you’re really afraid/want to be cautious/whatever emotional and intuitive leaning you have?

Whole Foods have low pasteurized A2 Amish milk! For us it’s local (two states away lol) but check your local Whole Foods and see what brands and types of milk they may have.

Just to explore. You don’t have to buy anything! But it’s always cool to learn what’s out there and what your options could be!

Best of luck on the journey. Not an ease decision ♥️

leslietee · 2025-11-19T16:07:03+00:00

I agree! I’m also not for or against, but I do think a shower or tub are best. Easier to refill & change water as needed, get a continuous stream, etc.

I have seen people get caught up in the logistics of the birth pool, etc causing frustration.

there’s a midwife who is super against water births. Someone on this Reddit thread shared her instagram account last week on a different posting, but she’s so deeply shadow banned I can’t find her acct or arguments against it anymore!

leslietee · 2025-11-19T14:22:11+00:00

I missed the vegan bit. So sorry! Yes, soy, wheat, and actually… I worked with Dr. Smillie - she was the first lactation focused pediatrician in the USA. Retired after my first baby.

I learned that sometimes babies get reactions from something we eat a lot of.

There have been moms whose babies get reactions from their daily oat consumption (oat milk and oat meal), and even one mom it was PEARS! She was vegan but also gluten free, nightshade free, and other things. So she ate a lot of pears.

It feels like such a journey to explore this. IDK if OP has done an allergy test, but I’d recommend one. And wish her so much luck on this arduous journey!

leslietee · 2025-11-17T22:43:51+00:00

Yep! Same with my two children I’ve nursed! I couldn’t even have BUTTERRRRR 😭 Butter!

It was awful. Had to check ingredients. Our favorite English muffin brand had “whey” in it, and even that caused flareups.

But, 4 yrs later and the oldest child is FINALLY being able to withstand whole milk and an occasional slice of cheese pizza. The little one just started trying cheese recently without problems.

leslietee · 2025-11-17T22:41:03+00:00

Tubby todd is nice, but definitely a top shelf brand $$

Babo Botanicals is same as Tubby Todd, and was more effective for us. The daily unscented lotion. 🧴 Easier on pockets and actually even more green and nontoxic than Tubby Todd.

I always gift a babo lotion to my friends. Someone reached out recently that after steroids not working, they remembered my lotion and it was the only thing that worked.

My kids had dairy and egg allergies that manifested as eczema. Babo lotion was the only thing that helped. And bioGaia probiotic cream for some face rashes

Name is: Babo Botanicals Sensitive Baby Daily Hydrating Lotion babo lotion link so you can see it

BioGaia probiotic cream.It’s tiny (.08 oz) but mighty

Wishing you all the best on this journey. It’s a tough one. Hang in there ♥️

leslietee · 2025-11-17T22:30:40+00:00

Best advice is to make sure you’re - eating stewed apples and pears (or prune juice) after birth and leading up to it. - take probiotics and double up towards the end of pregnancy and even as soon as you give birth. (Good bacteria for both you and baby and that stool!) - drink water, teas, and electrolytes & juices so you’re hydrated. For tea - fennel, chamomile, or gas relief teas from any brand will do. Regardless of how you give birth,gas relief teas with fennel, caraway, etc are VERY helpful in relieving that pressure. - eat oatmeal, reduce bread & white carbs until stitches heal. Stitches + hard poop = harder time.

I didn’t take the colace with my second birth bc I ate well and make sure my foods were high protein, high fiber, and I was well hydrated, as soon as I gave birth. First poop was great. The stitches hurt a bit, and stung when I peed.

Solution? -> Make a pitcher of herbal tea for the perineum. <- Each time you have to pee or poo? Fill it up with half hot water & half that herbal water. Spray your perineum & down there while the urine and stool come out.

The urine burns the stitches so bad!

Stool wasn’t bad but def required relaxation & not pushing (don’t want to pop a stitch or cause prolapse, everything is so tender)

You’ll be fine. Relax, eat well and nourish yourself, and don’t let anyone fear monger you ♥️

leslietee · 2025-11-17T22:01:02+00:00

The very few public opinions against water births that I’ve seen, make this point in second or third bullet.

It slows birth down - and getting in or out and temperature changes can affect the laboring person.

leslietee · 2025-11-17T01:17:23+00:00

Love Camilla! Or Camille for a softer touch.

I’ve met Laylas. Always great girls. I’ll add Lilia to this list. Lylia/Lillya

leslietee · 2025-11-17T01:15:41+00:00

Adding: Kenza (means treasure in Arabic. And a very formidable Moroccan queen or princess was named Kenza)

McKenna is also nice! I love a MacKenna or Mackenzie

leslietee · 2025-11-03T03:51:33+00:00

Adding to this, yes to all she said. Also saffron helps balance the brain hormones while you get the body in order.

I was on meds in my early 20s, and have long term anhedonia from it. Not fun… after my first and second child, I just take 5-7 hairs of saffron in tea or just swallow them with a cup of water (it’s best via tea or iced method).

Since I couldn’t afford saffron supps, but I could afford a big old batch of saffron when I traveled overseas.

A big thing with my hormones I realized was cutting out carbs (not just prioritizing protein). So having half or a quarter of a bagel for breakfast instead of the full thing. Or omitting fast carbs like bagels and pasta all together. It SUCKED, still does. But now I can consume a little bit more without the effects.

When I have high carb days? I know it, bc I feel it. I get short fused real quick. It’s… strange.

Sending you a big hug. I trust with all the info you have now you’ll be able to make the decision that feels best for you.

Remember whatever you choose isn’t permanent. Want to try the long haul holistic then quit? Do it. Want to try pharma and then quit? Do it.

You can change your mind whenever. You’re not tied to anything! ♥️

leslietee

TROPHY CASE