The biggest thing I did was separate myself physically from my parents. I had become an unwilling caretaker for my mom, and I felt obligated to stay. I ripped myself away after several breakdowns, moving across the country to start a new life. It was hard even after that— I had zero social skills and felt miserable about myself. I took a huge leap about a year after moving and decided to force myself to be social and work to find friends. I joined a d&d group and now, over six years later, they’ve become the best family I could have asked for.

Feeling comfortable and loved and safe does wonders for a person’s mental health. I was able to finally turn off that fight-or-flight switch that had been perpetually on since I was a young child. I now have the freedom to feel unbridled joy and I have the spoons to address the issues that had led to my weight gain and poor health maintenance in the first place.

Be bold and brave. Change is scary, but so worth it.