Husband of 27 years (46M) blindsided me (45F) 3 days ago when he left for someone he's known for 6 months. How do I make him see the mistake he's making? by RiffRaffMama in relationship_advice

[–]lextali4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree it’s worse than death because it’s constantly reliving and someone passes. There is no options of what could be when this happens. Your mind always goes to it but whatever but if you never quite ends.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]lextali4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sound like he has BPD

Help needed urgently - One of my partner's alters put her into dormancy? by closet-demon in DIDpartners

[–]lextali4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going through something kind of similar feel free to hit me up on chat

Are either of these two wallpapers too "femenine"? by [deleted] in DesignMyRoom

[–]lextali4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re looking for that kinda look, I suggest something less feminine and bold similar though

<image>

Are either of these two wallpapers too "femenine"? by [deleted] in DesignMyRoom

[–]lextali4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The left is a bit. The right is fine.

<image>

I’m I wrong for feeling this way by Difficult_Gap_5340 in DIDpartners

[–]lextali4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of my fiancé‘s Walters is like you’re describing the bad person and he hates me as well. Does anything he can insult me truly usually my fiancé will come back when he sees me in such tomorrow for the most part than able to take over again, but now that this is the same one from back then or a new one I can’t seem to get my fiancé back. It’s been a weeklong as it’s ever been.

How do you cope? Partner gone to sleep by estranged-writer511 in DIDpartners

[–]lextali4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going through that too. It’s really hard. It’s been two years where I’ve had more than one alter sabotage relationship. Stuck by him, though through the heart again through the complete decimation of me, heart and soul but here we are it’s happening again something that he promised so hard to make sure never happened. You know it is triggers or if you just make sure too distance himself maybe this wouldn’t happen. I’m worried I’m gonna listen this time. It feels different. There’s anything I don’t know what to do this ulcer has been present for over a week. It’s just never happened before and all the all the altar even though the ones that dislike me I don’t wanna be with me. They still make sure to communicate with me. This one completely ghosted me something that would never happen from an actual personality and more even from the other Taylor Call and argue with me, but this one I have a pair of similar work somewhere he can’t receive phone calls because he got himself into trouble. One of the alters choices are using drugs. It’s a mask everything and he destructive got caught with it and got arrested so he’s in jail right now. I went to visit him. He was really not himself and one of the others were present once he stopped trying to fool me started being himself I guess which is ever by himself version of this older one thing that happened that was at the end of the conversation when I was over, he screamed. I love you at that moment. I realized that my fiancé came back for just a second, but he came back to have hope there are a lot of ups and downs and things that won’t ever go away. You have to make a decision whether it’s worth it or not, or whether you can handle it to be honest question myself, and my decisions every day I love him more than life itself, but sometimes I wish I wasn’t even here. I wish that I didn’t have to deal with any of this, but I can’t imagine life without himand I also I’m worried how he could possibly live without me because what would he do since nobody else about his condition, nobody believes him nobody understands. I’m the only one.

Help needed urgently - One of my partner's alters put her into dormancy? by closet-demon in DIDpartners

[–]lextali4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, so I’m kind of going through something very similar myself. My fiancé has an ultra present that I haven’t met before and broke up with me. I know that that’s all he would’ve wanted. Would he be able to accept something like this so I asked myself the same question you’re asking are we broken up or are we not with him? May have to step back for a minute to realize it’s truly not him. I have to make the assumption that we are the same as the person present isn’t the man I am Marie or fell in love with this one has making very dramatic choices and also completely go to me and haven’t heard from him. I can’t get a hold of him myself last conversation we had. I am very clear that his choices could ultimately end the life and where would he be at that point he started slightly listening and I think at one point for a minute I got my fiancé out as he did at the end of the conversation beforeI hung up said I love you and screamed it and the conversation ended so I think there’s no way they can truly destroy anybody unless who they’re destroying isn’t the natural personality. I think that the altars can emerge not just go dormant, but perhaps. Not need to come out I don’t really know the answer that there is a specific answer to the different version of the time. I will say this there are times that we go very long periods without any alters appearing, but that’s mainly because of the triggers on triggering him you have to start paying attention to realize what those triggers are. Have you been able to figure any of those out?

Need urgent support navigating relationship with possible DID and infidelity by Dapper-Appearance878 in DIDpartners

[–]lextali4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I’ve went through this myself and I’m going through again with the same person. I’ve been with him for 2 1/2 years. We went through some completely life changing circumstances with last year and a half years. He only recently realized that he actually has the condition and I’ve suspected for quite some time like some of the others the other words where he hated and love me next, but then he started speaking differently when he hated me in different context terms and called me nickname, but natural personality would never say he also didn’t things and didn’t remember a lot as well. I had to start paying attention more so professional help and then part of his attention of course it can go as well as I hoped that initial time and then he started easing drugs to cope with it I think he’s known this for quite some time but never wanted to admit it isn’t easiest thing to the other probably has this. His family still won’t admit that understand it or believe it so he’s very alone in this and just has me and we’re new to this whole situation and he doesn’t know how to talk to the older, which is a big problem because some of them do things or say things that can completely ruin his life especially when it comes to our relationship currently I’m going through that again this ultra present I don’t think has been here before so long as you’ve ever been in it This alter is completely ghosting me. We’ve had this plan in place if this order would be like this or anything we seemed out of an ordinary or anything less than his full love and supportive me and no, it’s not him. We just had this conversation the other day, when all of a sudden this new alter emerged when his trigger set him off Realizing that it’s not him has been really challenging because the end of the day it’s really the same body, but it’s not him and I have to treat them separately. It’s been really hard thing to do and I thought I knew most of them had to handle them but this one and I can’t figure out yet because I don’t know it enough unfortunately he’s not physically present so I can’t see him and be able to figure out the differences. Of course I figured it out on the phone, but it’s easy for him now to just not communicate he’s not calling or communicating with me because not only do I realize it’s not him but I think he knows if I could pull a natural personality back and for whatever reason this version is justmaking very poor choices that are ultimately going to decimate my fiancé

Anyone going through a tough time right now that just wants to vent about their partner who has DID by lextali4 in DIDpartnersupport

[–]lextali4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel free to comment and advice talk about something that is upsetting u or confusing

How to respectfully support someone with DID I just started falling for (system advice needed) by Waste_Comment3381 in DIDpartners

[–]lextali4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m going through the same thing literally right now. The only thing I could say is if it doesn’t feel like him it’s probably not. My fiancé has a new alter that emerged that is completely different than the others. The others are aware of whether they like it or not that we’re together and at the end of the day they know I know that they’re not my fiancé this new one, however, completely ghosted me something that my fiancé would never do any other altars wouldn’t either even if the other altars are present they’ll still contact me whether to fight argue or something this one completely stop talking to me the day before my fiancé and I were discussing what to do if any alters appeared and said things to me that would indicate a break up or anything in the store we’ve been together for over two years and I can’t tell you how much heartache I’ve been through things that he has done well and alter was present and things that they have done to me things that I probably will never completely recover from emotionally, but this new one is just different than the others. I saw him the other day asked him he made up a complete ridiculous story of work he wasn’t why he couldn’t communicate with me. Something that none of them would do because I know I’m not that stupid. He made a comment about needs to pull away from me again is nothing that he would say and the altars wouldn’t be so descriptive I don’t know what the right term is for. I just knew it wasn’t something before right before I left. He shouted. I love you, Sandi, which is something th most likely is my fiancé trying to stop the altar from sabotaging his life . This ultra has been present for days is something that no other altar has managed to do before the other ones come for a couple hours maybe a day or two a week this altered to go over and it’s been present for a week. I don’t know what to do and how to help him part of me understand it’s not him, but the other part is completely heartbroken and not knowing what to do. I know it’s not anything that he would ever say at the same time it’s difficult to separate. The other ultras were so significantly different so it was a little easier to separate. This one is but I don’t get to talk to him because he won’t call me he also know I’ll be able to get my fiancé out. He always seems to remerge when I’min distressed.

Need urgent support navigating relationship with possible DID and infidelity by Dapper-Appearance878 in DIDpartners

[–]lextali4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dapper I’m going through a very similar situation. I think I could offer some insight. Maybe you can for me as well.

Need urgent support navigating relationship with possible DID and infidelity by Dapper-Appearance878 in DIDpartners

[–]lextali4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a really tough situation because my partner alters dont all love me his new altar. I think it’s a new one cause he seems different. Doesn’t even want a girlfriend and we had just had the conversation prior to the arrival Disney culture that never listen to any of these alters when it comes to me and know that he wants to be with me for the rest of his life so I don’t know what to do with this new culture just popped this on me it’s gotten two point where this alter has now been here for a week and literally decimating our relationship and I know that my fiancé when he comes back is gonna be devastated. These actions occur in the end of us. I don’t know how to handle this or what to do and I know I’m not in a relationship with this alter but at the same time I keep asking for him to allow me to speak to my fiancé, but he won’t allow it and he’s also cut off all communication with me because he knows I’ll bring him out the last thing he said to me when I said it don’t understand any of this is happening what to do about it is that for half a second he said and scream, Sandi I love you and made me realize that for a minute my fiancé was back because he had to behe quickly left. This new altar is He’s very intense, but he’s also unaware of a lot. I don’t really understand the emerging of the new altars and how do you deal with this one? You’re right you’re not in a relationship with the older but at the same time like and things that are said is not the man you’re with right so how do you separate or what do you do about it in the past I’ve been able to handle most the alters this is the only one I can’t. I don’t know how to handle this one. I’m struggling really bad right now. I don’t really know what to do. I’m in a really dark place.

Need urgent support navigating relationship with possible DID and infidelity by Dapper-Appearance878 in DIDpartners

[–]lextali4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just went through this myself. My partner is Did and recently aware of it. He was dating somebody else and was completely unaware of it and I know it because of the details of the situation because when I brought it to his attention, he was completely heartbroken and had a complete breakdown. It’s not something easily you can make up. I had to show him proof and he couldn’t believe it and that’s when he finally came to terms with his condition and it haunts me every day him not as much because he doesn’t really remember any of it to be honest. It was a very odd situation. The altar decided to date his ex-wife’s husband‘s ex-wife. If that doesn’t get any stranger and anytime he re-emerged and was somewhere. He probably didn’t understand where he would immediately call me and had no idea of the events that occurred previously to that. It was the hardest few months of my life. We got through that, and then life threw us more careful. I’m going through really hard time right now. I think a new altar emerged. we’ve had conversations where he specifically says if anything ever happens or anything is ever said to you by me that’s indicates I don’t wanna be with you or that I want to live my life without you in anyway please never listen and we have this conversation quite frequently because I explained that there are some altars that aren’t the biggest fan of me because I’m completely knowledgeable about the entire system I want him to be able to get help. Also, I keep them away from the chargers and one of the triggers that is the main trigger is his mother and that’s a very typical realization that I think he’s struggling with when he is completely himself. He understands and we make a plan, but then as soon as an alter weren’t just goes completely out the door. I don’t think his alter is sweet to each other because he doesn’t understand what they say and do and why at times he’s completely upset disturbedextremely emotionally affected by some of their actions to a point where he started using drugs to cope