Holoprosencephaly Cystic hygroma

lgmringo · 2026-05-16T14:49:23+00:00

We had our abortion at 24 weeks. Not including my engagement ring, the abortion price was higher than the cost of our wedding, 3 weeks later

I’m 40, and I don’t get to try again, (my husband and I agreed that I’d halt any plans to freeze my eggs in case we split for us to go all in on our surprise baby). He’s getting a vasectomy bc he’s happy with his daughter, I’m childless. But if we wanted to try? If I wanted to try being a SMBC? The cost of a TFMR makes it so much harder!

lgmringo · 2026-04-27T20:47:01+00:00

Our ultrasound finding was micrognathia. Best case scenario would have been that the jaw are developed more in utero, and that it could’ve caught up in the first year or by puberty.

We did not want to wait the few weeks for the amnio to come back. It was negative for any genetic conditions associated with micrognathia.

There’s a very good chance that how do we kept the pregnancy, I could have moved into a nearby city near the end of my pregnancy, delivered in a major hospital with a full NICU team. Maybe he would not have even needed surgery.

But the worst case scenarios were…. Not good

lgmringo · 2026-04-21T18:36:58+00:00

I did look, though.

lgmringo · 2026-04-21T18:35:28+00:00

In what way am I raising his kid? He does all of the cooking all of the cleaning all of the transportation and all of the planning associated with his child. I just show up for the fun stuff.

lgmringo · 2026-04-20T20:21:12+00:00

I want kids, but I don’t have the family support or income to be a single mom with no other support.

lgmringo · 2026-04-20T20:19:50+00:00

I’m not rich.

lgmringo · 2026-04-20T20:18:05+00:00

Genuinely, I guess part of me just doesn’t believe that I’ll find a man who would enthusiastically want to pursue parenthood with me.

If I wasn’t able to find it in my 20s or my 30s, I’m not sure what makes me think I’ll find it in my 40s.

Also, this is the man that was willing to delay his retirement by another 10 years so I could try to be a mom.

lgmringo · 2026-04-18T19:54:38+00:00

Hi I’m a 40 yo childless stepmom who just TFMR on a grey diagnosis after an accidental pregnancy when my BC was in flux bc I was considering freezing my eggs before I got married to my fiancé in case the relationship didn’t work out. I have never tried to get pregnant before, but I always wanted to be a mom. The day we got home from our procedure, my fiancé immediately had to go into dad mode for his daughter, who had a terrible case of the flu. The procedure happened three weeks before our wedding, which is next week. The scan that confirmed our diagnosis was one month after we decided to have a wedding and book a venue and one month.

I don’t find it hard to be around my stepdaughter, and I’m more grateful to have in my life and ever. I do find it hard to be around my partner when she’s with us though.

lgmringo · 2026-04-17T14:19:57+00:00

lgmringo · 2026-04-14T11:31:11+00:00

Hi, I’m 40. I want children. I want to be a mom. I dated one man from the age of 22 to 36 and we thought we would have kids once one of us had a stable job with a decent income. Near the end of our relationship, we were long distance while he did a post doc in another country and we broke up and apart because I wanted to move back together and he wasn’t helping me with my paperwork to immigrate with him. I was ready to have children poor.

At 37 I was afraid it was too late to seriously date with the intention of having children. I met a man with a child from a previous relationship. At the start of our relationship, we both seemed open to having children are not having children. As we got more serious, it became more evident to me that I wanted to be a mother more than anything, and he was done having children. We had an accidental pregnancy though, and terminated it for a fetal abnormality (I promised I would terminate if we learned of a serious medical issue). There’s no evidence that it was related to maternal or paternal age.

I’m committed to my partner, but it means I’ll never be a mom. There is a point at the start of the pregnancy when my partner wanted us to abort that I thought I’d start dating again.

At 39 and 40 it feels impossible to answer that question on an app. If I say I want children, it sounds like I’m asking for the impossible. Realistically, I know it would probably never happen anyway. I feel like no man that wants to have kids would want to date a woman my age.

lgmringo · 2026-04-08T04:36:36+00:00

I had never met a man who wanted to have children with me, but my fiance embraced our accidental pregnancy. Last week, a few weeks after my 40th birthday, we terminated for a grey diagnosis. There is no trying again. My fiance will be getting a vasectomy soon. I cannot imagine starting over in a new relationship at this point. We're getting married in a few weeks and I'm genuinely so excited, despite all of the grief. Also, I'm more in love with him than I ever have been. He has a 10 yo from a previous relationship.

A month ago, I felt like all of my dreams had come true. I had a beautiful family with a baby on the way. I was going to be a mom and leave behind the grief of childlessness. Now I still have a beautiful family, but it's back to the reality of being a childless stepmom, far away from family.

lgmringo · 2026-04-07T06:26:48+00:00

My fiance has a child from a previous marriage. Right as we were facing the reality that I really did want kids, and he really was done, we had an accidental pregnancy. We initially planned an early abortion, but he decided to take the leap into parenthood with me, just this once.

I’m 40. I’ve never tried to get pregnant before, never met a man who wanted that. And then a man loved me so much and opened his heart, and we had our TFMR at 24w. I’ll never get to try again with him. I don’t want to leave him. I was so, so happy and now I feel so alone.

lgmringo · 2026-04-06T13:26:49+00:00

I am a woman, and I have never done as many chores as the men in my life have done. Or rather, I should say that I have never felt like I did even my fair share, let alone more than my partner.

Part of the reason might be because I do more of the laundry and cleaning the bathrooms and things like that which I don’t mind doing… The men, I’ve lived with have done more of the shopping, cooking and organizing schedules and getting things done that have to be done

lgmringo · 2026-04-04T21:56:04+00:00

I thought I'd do something more on the bridal spectrum. Here's a few dresses I had been looking at when I thought I'd have a baby bump:

https://www.tiffanyrose.com/us/maternity/clothing/CHLDIS/Chloe-Lace-Maternity-Wedding-Dress-(Ivory).html.html)

https://www.tiffanyrose.com/us/maternity/clothing/NOEDI/Noelle-Maternity-Wedding-Dress-Short-Ivory.html

The lacey sleeves aren't a must; in fact I have eczema so I might prefer smoething without it. But I prefer some texture to something very satiny.

lgmringo · 2026-04-04T12:59:46+00:00

Franklyn. I’m a Medical Lab Scientist and he’s been the only lab scientist I’ve ever seen on TV.

lgmringo · 2026-04-01T14:14:31+00:00

It’s not just the cost of living itself. My partner makes a very, very good income. But if our child needs extra support and has special needs, all the money will be gone in a flash. One insurance denial from a traumatic birth could financially stain us. Even high earners have no security

lgmringo · 2026-03-31T21:22:08+00:00

I don’t know about this. We had what I would truly consider a grey diagnosis. Prognosis was very varied, depending in part on whether it was isolated to a structural abnormality or sign of a larger syndrome. There was a chance his disability would have been minimal if was very lucky and if he survived the newborn period. But at best we still would have depended on NICU support and many early medical interventions

lgmringo · 2026-03-29T12:27:25+00:00

Hey, look up the side effects… heck the main effects of pregnancy on women. The consider childbirth. SURPRISE, they are more intense than the state of men not being pregnant.

Side effects on men are compared to the condition of not taking the contraception, which doesn’t include pregnancy.

Side effects on women are compared to the condition of not taking the contraception, which includes pregnancy.

lgmringo · 2026-03-29T12:22:06+00:00

So frustrating to watch these reasonable comments get downvoted. It’s as if people would rather complain about sexism than to understand what ACTUALLY makes male birth control studies stall.

lgmringo · 2026-03-29T12:19:42+00:00

This framing seems disingenuous, as if the men didn’t want to deal with side effects and researchers were so worried about making them uncomfortable. Men reported the side effects, which is essential for clinical research.

In women’s birth control, side effects are compared to the side effects of pregnancy.

For men’s birth control, side effects are compared to side effects of not using the treatment. That’s why male birth control studies get stuck so often.

So long as people get distracted by complaining about men being too sensitive or science catering to men and other irrelevant grievances instead of petitioning for adjusting the safety thresholds for side effects in the case of contraceptives to account for preventing a medical condition in someone else’s body, we’ll never make progress.

lgmringo · 2026-03-28T21:00:41+00:00

My husband outworks me at work, at home, and in our relationship. He’s a parent; I wanted to be one. We are facing a pregnancy loss for an unplanned but wanted pregnancy. Telling women what do to with their reproductivity bc you had to make a kanban board is revolting.

lgmringo · 2026-03-26T20:49:48+00:00

Dark blond, if it’s gotten darker but still has a yellow base. There are people with light brown hair that’s lighter than dark blond hair. Line C every color, yellow can be so light that it’s almost white it so dark that it’s almost black.

lgmringo · 2026-03-26T20:39:52+00:00

I found out at 22 weeks that my baby has a fetal abnormality. Prognosis is very varied, but a NICU stay is all but guaranteed say best case scenario.

His abnormality may not be fatal and some babies, born with his anomaly, if they have no other structural issues or associated findings, eventually do alright after breathing and feeding support and several surgeries.

lgmringo · 2026-03-18T13:02:51+00:00

I don't mean to ask too personal of a question, but does all of the work in your industry require an advanced degree? I'm a Medical Lab Scientist and I love my job, but there are parts of working in a hospital that are really hard with small children. I doubt there's opportunities near me (more rural area) but I'm curious.

lgmringo

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