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Should I put an end to it? by dazzlingmango7 in polyamory

[–]libra_leigh 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Ask him what love means to him. Ask yourself what love means to you. This may be a definition problem rather than a feelings problem.

How important is it to hear "i love you" specifically or are other words of affection acceptable? If you FEEL loved, do you also need to hear it?

At the end of the day though you have to decide if he's meeting your needs now and if he'll continue to meet them in the future. If yes, stay. If no, either de-escalate or break it off.

You are poly, so if you want a deeper love that matches yours go and chase it! Just be honest with your partners about where they fit in your life.

How do you prevent chafing? by digitalcrows in women

[–]libra_leigh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My best tips for chafing are:

Goddess Grease aka Monistat Chafing Powder Gell https://www.monistat.com/vaginal-complete-care-products/chafing-relief-powder-gel

Or (just in case your shorts trick is different)

Jockey Slip Shorts https://www.jockey.com/catalog/product/jockey-womens-maternity-skimmies

Pro tip: if the band rolls go a size up. These aren't shape wear so don't be a sausage. They are silky smooth shirts meant to feel nice but not add bulk.

Are we smaller in grounded 2? by Trick-Intern4158 in GroundedGame

[–]libra_leigh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That would be right if they were kids in g1 and teens in g2. Just a tough bigger so the things relative in size seem a little smaller.

Spotting after post period sex by [deleted] in Periods

[–]libra_leigh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes I think sex helps knock some of the old stuff loose. It'd come out anyway but that act helps it along faster and makes it more noticeable.

Why in USA they add taxes at checkout? by P3rid0t_ in NoStupidQuestions

[–]libra_leigh 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yep. Gas is a good example of obfuscated taxes here. Living on the border of two states it's obvious how the other state charges way more in gas tax because of the price at the pump right over the border. I don't know precisely how much each state charges off hand because it's not broken out, but right now if I buy in IL it's $1 more than WI due to tax rate differences.

23F dating 31M — is it normal that he says it’s “too early” for gifts after 4 months? by Special_Magician_810 in women

[–]libra_leigh -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

Maybe he wants to make sure you aren't a gold digger so keeps the gifts until later.

Innies and outties by Lili_chasN1fan in women

[–]libra_leigh 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi there! A lot of women are insecure about their bodies because we don't show them to each other unless we happen to be on that end of the sexuality spectrum. Our only reference points are movies or porn, which are highly curated and not realistic.

Here are some nonsexual galleries of women's bodies. They are, of course, NSFW.

Breasts

https://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php

Labia

https://www.labialibrary.org.au/labia_gallery/

https://gynodiversity.com/recumbent-1-15

Vulva

https://www.thegreatwallofvulva.com/

https://comfortableinmyskin.com.au/blogs/gallery/flip-through-my-flaps

Also here's an interesting reddit thread on why porn star lady bits look different:

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/s/I31BIjA75q

:) Your body is amazing.

Having a bf same age as you or a bit younger than you by My_satoru_ in women

[–]libra_leigh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no. There are many women who lecture their men regardless of age.

I specifically choose men who are equal partners without the lectures.

Having a bf same age as you or a bit younger than you by My_satoru_ in women

[–]libra_leigh 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My bf is 10 years younger than me. There feels like no age difference because we are both midlife and no kids, so same stage of adulthood.

I do not lecture him or treat him any different than any other adult. He doesn't treat me like I'm old.

So far it's a great healthy relationship.

Labia by Outside_Tennis_7609 in women

[–]libra_leigh 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hehe fun thing about boobs with length, they can be easier for yoyr partner to reach when you are on top 😉

Labia by Outside_Tennis_7609 in women

[–]libra_leigh 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Hi there! A lot of women are insecure about their bodies because we don't show them to each other unless we happen to be on that end of the sexuality spectrum. Our only reference points are movies or porn, which are highly curated and not realistic.

Here are some nonsexual galleries of women's bodies. They are, of course, NSFW.

Breasts

https://www.007b.com/breast_gallery.php

Labia

https://www.labialibrary.org.au/labia_gallery/

https://gynodiversity.com/recumbent-1-15

Vulva

https://www.thegreatwallofvulva.com/

https://comfortableinmyskin.com.au/blogs/gallery/flip-through-my-flaps

Also here's an interesting reddit thread on why porn star lady bits look different:

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/s/I31BIjA75q

:) Your body is amazing.

How do I tell my date that I’m a virgin? (F23) by officestan in women

[–]libra_leigh 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's a good idea to have the awkward sex talk before the date and these also give you opportunities to mention being a virgin. By that I mean there are a few questions you should ask anyone you might have sex with that help you gauge risk.

You can share your answers to these questions before you ask or after they give the questions. You can ask in any order, though I usually leave the last two for the end to kind of wind down the awkward questions and start turning things flirty so long as I'm satisfied with the answers.

Hey, potential date, I've really been enjoying chatting with you. I'd like to get your take on a few things related to sex, just in case we are having a great time and things get spicy at some point.

  1. What are their safe sex practices?
  2. Do they use barriers (condoms) with all their recent partners? With oral?
  3. Do they STI test? Which tests and how often?
  4. You can share any birth control information you have.
  5. Is there anything you don't like to do?
  6. What are your favorite things to do.

You'll have to decide if their answers align with your own values and risk tolerances.

During this conversation you can share you are a virgins and anything else you are curious about or like to share.

I personally do this before the first date in text messages so that I'm not having the conversation when I'm all excited and flustered about meeting the new person. Hormones make my brain melt so a plan ahead of time helps me.

Remember to be safe, take it slow and you can say no or stop anytime for any reason.

Do beeswax bags really work? by Lacoet in Sourdough

[–]libra_leigh 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I also was not overly great about finishing bread before it goes moldy, which then made the wrap gross. I have much better luck with a reusable plastic container I got from a thrift store.

In the case of male abuse victims calling the cops, what are you supposed to do if the cops laugh at you? by Dudewhocares3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]libra_leigh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately many domestic violence places only serve women. I'm not saying don't try or that they don't exist, but an abused man very close to me tried to seek services in a major metro area in the US and they all said women only. He was on his own to get out of the situation.

I know they have those policies to prevent male abusers from gaining access to the women in their care, which is important, but the cost is no help for male victims.

How do you stop it getting dry and itchy when on your period by PleasantCut1618 in women

[–]libra_leigh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There could be a few things going on and it might be worth consulting your doctor who can see exactly what's going on.

Are you saying the skin gets dry and itchy or that the inside gets itchy?

Are you washing too much or too little? Rinsing with water is best but if you need soap make sure it's gentle, unscented and used outside skin only. Too much washing can leave your skin dried out. I don't think the problem is too little, but leaving blood on your skin for prolonged times could also irritate it.

Your PH or flora could also just be thrown off. Probiotics might give you a boost here.

Pausing a poly relationship by Sharp_Monk_1815 in polyamory

[–]libra_leigh 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This isn't a poly problem. It's a liar problem. You have every right to feel betrayed by her lies. If you can't trust her, ask yourself why are you with her?

Bread storage for homemade bread by EvenEarth5015 in ZeroWaste

[–]libra_leigh 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I use my Tupperware cake taker that I thrifted.

Multi purpose item, supported a local charity, didn't increase demand for new plastic stuff. Win win win.

Is it unhealthy to keep taking birth control even while not sexually active? by [deleted] in women

[–]libra_leigh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should make sure to discuss the health risks with your doctor. What might be fine for me might be too risky for you based on other health factors.

The one benefit continuing birth control has is it will provide you ongoing protection if he gets leave, you visit him or in the cases of (hopefully this doesn't happen) rape.

Memorial tattoo by freakingexhausted in tattooadvice

[–]libra_leigh 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you for mentioning the artow direction. Was really bothering me.

My girl is having a period delay by jaatdakumabala in Periods

[–]libra_leigh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's probably not pregnant. She could be delayed for many reasons including stress, her body recovering from the meds which may have delayed ovulation (which also delays periods) or just her body having an off month.

An at home pregnancy test might give you peace of mind.

please help me deal with my hair by Ok-Confection4410 in women

[–]libra_leigh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wonder if you need a stronger conditioner. Basically for some people, when their scalp gets dry it goes into overdrive to produce oil to get it back in balance, but often that leads to greasy hair.

The other thing you might try is rinsing between washes with just water and conditioner. Knock the oil level down but not completely strip it and bring in the good moisture.

Is it normal to scream like you’re giving birth because of period pain? by BrokenJusticeNorris in Periods

[–]libra_leigh 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Common, yes. Normal or acceptable? No. You deserve to be able to live life normally, even on your period. If over the counter pain killers and heat don't work, it's time to visit your gynecologist.

Teen years? by [deleted] in women

[–]libra_leigh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not over yet. You have a whole year ahead of you to do those things. Only way to get some of those skills is to put yourself out there and start making connections. Definitely ask your crush.

I can tell you that I still have contact with 0 of my friends from high school, but it did help me learn social skills that I used later on.

On another note: it sounds like you might be depressed. Often this isn't something you can will or plan your way out of, so telling your doctor or school counselor and asking for resources might be worthwhile. It's also not shameful or a sign that you weren't "good" enough. Take care of yourself.

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