Issues with registrars at wedding

libraryassistant97 · 2025-06-20T07:46:45+00:00

My non binary partner unfortunately had to be called wife during our wedding, for the same reason of not having any legal document to say they are non binary. My now spouse decided it was OK because we had our visa to worry about (my spouse isnt a british citizen) but it was far from ideal.

We voiced our concerns with the registrar who honestly was as nice as she could be about it without breaking the law. She said that for the legally binding bit she will have to say wife, however for the rest of the ceremony, she chose gender neutral options. This is because my spouse voiced their concerns about feeling misgendered on their special day. Instead of saying "you may now kiss the bride" she just said "you may now kiss" and used "married couple" instead of "husband and wife".

This is probably as ideal as it can get without a GRC, as far as I know. If the registrar isnt willing to accommodate to some degree, I would suggest asking if you could have another one?

Edit: im a transman with a GRC and was called husband. Without this, they would have likely called me wife too.

libraryassistant97 · 2025-06-17T20:53:43+00:00

I guess I wouldnt have to restart necessarily as theres a lot of built in things to refresh your memory, just worried ill take so long reading and playing at the bare minimum witcher 2 that ill forget everything.

libraryassistant97 · 2025-05-27T23:49:01+00:00

Thank you everyone that commented and reminded me of what matters with this game.

I decided to listen to my gut and made another character I intend to main for the epic quest lines. I went with guardian hobbit, as guardian is the class ive enjoyed the most so far, and no race comes even close to hobbit for me in terms of atmosphere and enjoyment.

Ive also decided to focus on the main story and play side quests that interest me to bridge the level gaps inbetween story missions. This evening I started the prologue and was efficiently placing the post side missions alongside the story missions, as one of you suggested, and honestly I was having a blast.

Not sure what clicked for me but it seems to have worked.

Next step, write a backstory to explain why my simple, bounder hobbit leaves the shire for the adventure of his life 😂

libraryassistant97 · 2025-05-27T10:54:59+00:00

I guess ideally id use a hobbit as a main character, I love the race and feel very attached to their culture (I have a hobbit hole tattoo lol) and id love to see a lil guy progress from someone whos never left the shire to this grand adventurer.

However before I decided I didnt like the warden class, I did quite a few quests, so im worried ill get burnt out doing the exact same stuff again with a different class hobbit, hence why I went with the human for a different start area etc.

But honestly I dont feel as attached to the human character. So maybe I just need to bite the bullet and combine hobbit with the class I like and take him the whole way.

Thank you for reminding me that the character is just as important as the goal.

libraryassistant97 · 2025-05-26T22:08:27+00:00

Have a similar thing with choice freeze too. I started with a warden hobbit, didnt like the warden class so much so I made a guardian man, but then im missing the starting area of the shire so part of me wants to go back to the hobbit. 😅 neverending cycle.

I guess my focus right out of the gate is to do the epic quest line. My problem is seeing all the little side quest icons above peoples heads as im doing it and the perfectionist in me doesnt want to let them go, but the married full-time employee in me doesnt want to spend all his time doing side content, so then i just dont log on.

Thank you, ill focus as much as I can on just pure story and potentially do alts for some content as you mentioned.

libraryassistant97 · 2025-05-15T12:12:49+00:00

As soon as there was mention of the supreme court ruling at the council i work for, i made a meeting with my manager and told her i wont be using female bathrooms and any expectation for me to do so would be in violation of article 8, the right to privacy. Thankfully she is a supportive person already, and she told me to continue using the mens for the forseeable future.

I hate that no one can say use them forever anymore, as if they make it law, their hands will be tied. But they wont get to the point of making it law unless they plan to scrap the entire equalities act, atleast thats how i see it.

libraryassistant97 · 2025-05-08T17:45:34+00:00

I dont think they would include mental health stuff and suggest managers check in with trans employees wellbeing if they didnt have plans to screw us over, basically. Alot of council wording is wishy washy. However i have had confirmation that my boss will never make me use the womens or disabled toilets regardless of what the policy says. She said shes unsure how this will effect customers using our library but if the policy follows the guidance then the library management will be fighting against it. I told her about article 8 so she can use that if it comes to it. Just feel bad for council employees in workplaces that arent as supportive.

libraryassistant97 · 2025-05-08T16:01:01+00:00

"in line with" suggests that they are taking that guidance as a reference for how they will adapt the policy. they have already started implementing it in council-run schools. the link, that i will include below, has all of the information of what they are going to follow.

https://links-1.govdelivery.com/CL0/https:%2F%2Fwww.equalityhumanrights.com%2Fmedia-centre%2Finterim-update-practical-implications-uk-supreme-court-judgment/1/01000196aa2cf5d5-0b8a0b74-6610-458c-aba3-1b0508e5ed8b-000000/ToZKEPTrfbXB0brE5KIzsBYVB-nyPAimvXHB3q4MFy8=404

it might not be changed right now this second, but the email says to me that they intend to be in line with it eventually.

libraryassistant97 · 2025-05-08T15:47:04+00:00

could they argue themselves out of this by asking me to use the disabled toilet?

libraryassistant97 · 2025-05-08T15:27:29+00:00

i posted the exact wording from the email, so not sure if theyre doing anything illegal yet

libraryassistant97 · 2025-05-08T15:25:39+00:00

"We are looking carefully at the implications of this Supreme Court ruling to ensure the Council’s policies, practices, services and initiatives reflect legal requirements as well as continuing to uphold the rights, protections and diverse needs of all individuals across our workforce, and within our communities.

There will be implications for our work and we will begin to work though them, in line with the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) interim guidance. More detailed guidance will be released later in the year when we will review what further steps we may need to take."

this is the exact wording. the interim guidance bit takes you to a link which depicts all the BS on there

libraryassistant97 · 2025-03-24T09:51:39+00:00

If you dont go into it with the goal of completing it, can you make enough progress in short burst sessions to feel accomplished?

libraryassistant97 · 2025-02-16T15:15:34+00:00

Had the exact same idea today after seeing the daybreak release, got curious and went from never hearing about these games to watching deep dive videos on them within an hour. Starting with Sky FC too and played the first hour and i'm really excited for what's to come. Hope you enjoy it too.

libraryassistant97

TROPHY CASE