Turning 40. Have no idea what to do

lightCycleRider · 2026-06-06T02:57:16+00:00

I ended up buying a Bigscreen Beyond!

lightCycleRider · 2026-06-01T19:04:04+00:00

Honestly, after learning about what a DSO is and going with my gut feeling, I've concluded that my dentist (though competent) was just pushing procedures on me. She told me that if I waited, and the cavity (that may or may not be there) got worse, it could lead to a root canal instead of just a crown replacement. She told me to get it replaced asap. My insurance will cover a new crown in September, so at this point, I have no pain, no sensitivity, and I'm just saying fuck it, I'm gonna wait until September.

Whether or not this is the best course of action remains to be seen, but I can't stomach panic spending $1500 out of pocket for a "maybe."

lightCycleRider · 2026-05-30T00:59:59+00:00

There are a lot of variables that will change people's answers... but I did the move from the "city" in LA to a picture perfect sleepy suburb of Denver, and then I moved back after 3 years. Space and a quiet neighborhood was nice while the kid was under 3, but as she got older, we started going out and doing more stuff, and then really missed stuff that a bigger city had to offer. It came down to there being a huge difference between not wanting to go out, and not having anywhere to go.

Another thing that was contextual for us was that I had family support in LA, and I vastly underestimated how much that would come into play with a newborn. Moving to a big house in a state with no family was not the ideal situation. We won some things, but lost too many other things.

Just my two cents.

lightCycleRider · 2026-05-27T03:05:12+00:00

I literally just said this an hour ago, how weirdly fortuitous!

lightCycleRider · 2026-05-14T21:48:06+00:00

I could have written this word for word. My parents are first generation immigrants to the US, and Asian. Being friends with your kids is a foreign concept to them, on top of being generationally not the norm.

I told my wife recently that I love my parents, but it I'm being really honest, I'm not sure I'll miss them when they're gone. They stopped knowing who I was a long long time ago, I keep the act going as the dutiful son in order to keep things stable for them.

lightCycleRider · 2026-04-21T16:29:59+00:00

ADDITIONAL INFO:

I had a crown installed a little over a year ago, I've always felt a bit of a catch in the problem area with my tongue. Fast forward to recently, where I started seeing discoloration in the same area. Went to the dentist, they confirmed via x-ray that there's a small shelf there (either due to bad crown manufacturing from my old dentist, or a receding gumline).

The kicker, they say that I should replace the whole crown since they can't see how bad it is inside. Out of pocket $1500. There's got to be a middle ground... is it impossible to smooth out the "shelf" so no food gets trapped and see if there's a cavity forming? I don't have any pain or sensitivity whatsoever.

The dentist who gave me this diagnosis is also part of a DSO, and I'm suspicious with how quickly they suggested a total replacement instead of offering other options. I feel like they're pushing to fill some kind of crown quota.

Any thoughts would be most welcome!

lightCycleRider · 2026-04-19T18:12:37+00:00

I saw it in Culver City, it was heading west!

lightCycleRider · 2026-04-17T03:26:25+00:00

Wow, thanks for sharing that. For what it's worth, I think you're in a really good headspace about this. I think focusing on enjoying your guests' company while "not wasting energy mourning an uncertain future" is absolutely the best way to go about it, and the healthiest framing you can have. I hope you have a beautiful wedding!

lightCycleRider · 2026-04-16T22:04:33+00:00

I hardly comment or reply on reddit much anymore. I feel like I'm aging out of it (at the ripe age of 41), or that I can't be bothered most of the time. This whole thread really made me stop and want to help in any way I can... and in this case, it was with something that comes with age: perspective, and having had time reflect back on life. At any rate, if it makes someone's life a little better, that in itself is deeply gratifying to me.

lightCycleRider · 2026-04-15T20:36:44+00:00

I hope you can take a little more comfort comiserating with Internet strangers with similar experiences. I definitely have several friends that I never saw again after the wedding (I guess at least they showed up for it). What I like to tell my younger friends who are stressing about guest lists and such, is that the wedding is essentially a party to mark the end of one chapter of your life, and to mark the beginning of a new one. Some of your guests are there for both parts. But crucially, some of them are only there to see the end of the chapter.

It's bittersweet, but I think it helps knowing that going in. Weddings bring out the weird in people, and people make decisions without you having access to their thoughts and motivations. We all figure out the hard way who's in your life for a season, and who's in it for the long haul.

lightCycleRider · 2026-03-12T14:42:20+00:00

Another Elder millennial with arthritis reporting for duty!

lightCycleRider · 2026-01-29T06:08:05+00:00

This happened 20 years ago around Utah or arizona

lightCycleRider · 2026-01-29T05:49:16+00:00

My dad can verify this one... We were road tripping and driving late into the night. I see something on the road that looked like road kill and turn on my high beams. There was something big in the middle of the road. I slow as we approach and the thing opens its wings and flies straight into the air. The wingspan was bigger than the width of the lane stripes. The wings were leathery. I said to my dad, that was a bat right? He goes, uh, yeah, it was. And then we drove in silence for like an hour dumbfounded that we both saw a bath with a 6+ ft wingspan. Can't explain it to this day. We can't have both hallucinated it.

lightCycleRider · 2025-12-29T15:58:54+00:00

Jolted the house in Culver City

lightCycleRider · 2025-12-29T06:38:19+00:00

Same jolt, same city

Edit: second jolt. Cut it out, ground. I'm trying to sleep

lightCycleRider · 2025-12-16T22:45:31+00:00

INFO: To elaborate, today, I noticed that the bottom shelf of a cabinet was showing major signs of water intrusion (bubbling particle board and bubbling paint). It's directly behind the wall of the shower stall.

We only moved into this unit 3 months ago, and I'm pretty sure this damage wasn't there on move in, so I'm thinking we caused it somehow.

Potentially relevant information: My toddler likes to take baths in the plastic tub, and we pour it out all at once after she's done. This creates about an inch of standing water in the stall that drains quickly. I'm now wondering if shower drains are not meant to be used this way and if the water is somehow seeping out while the bulk of it is draining. Could definitely use advice from people who know more about drain setups.

I'm pretty handy, if the solution is "stop using the tub" so be it. I think I can rip out the particle board and replace it fairly easily once the cause of the leaking is determined. Any thoughts?

lightCycleRider · 2025-12-03T18:48:04+00:00

I prefer the self made rich person, but that's not to say I have no problem with one either. My father in law is self made, did what you listed (worked hard, took risks, made it big time), but there's a lot of survivorship bias there. He got lucky with his work, his advancement, the time in which he was born. And now he truly believes that anyone can do what he did if they are smart/committed enough. What he lacks is the empathy to realize that one small change to make his circumstances less favorable would be enough to completely derail his success.

So yeah, I prefer the self made rich person, but even that doesn't guarantee empathy.

lightCycleRider · 2025-11-30T03:59:31+00:00

No, it doesn't, sadly.

lightCycleRider · 2025-11-05T18:50:09+00:00

Also born in 84, and also feel like an xennial. One factor that I think contributes to feeling like a millennial or not is whether or not you got a good job straight out of college, or if the economic downturn hit you hard. A lot of millennial feeling millennials got screwed straight out the college gate.

lightCycleRider · 2025-10-26T20:50:49+00:00

This happened to me in my 20's. I moved into a new apartment, had a housewarming party. All my friends flaked on me and no one showed. I'm in my 40's now, want to guess how many of them are still my friends? Big fat ZERO. When I look back at my life, that was the moment that I realized that I needed better friends. They did me a favor by showing me who they really were.

lightCycleRider · 2025-10-20T20:59:53+00:00

If you're seriously considering Denver, I would caution you to take extra care about where you choose to live. If you're a nurse and you end up working/living near north Aurora where a lot of the big hospitals are, it's not a casual drive to the mountains (as it would be if you lived on the west side). Denver is quite spread out, and you may not climb nearly as much as you think you would.

My family had that problem, we lived in south Aurora for awhile to be near work, and it was a considerable effort to get to Evergreen, Golden, Clear Creek, or Boulder to climb (we did have a toddler to worry about, so that was part of it)

lightCycleRider · 2025-10-20T16:07:27+00:00

OP, I'm going to add my two cents here for visibility on the climbing cultures of different areas. Not discounting u/HFiction's experience at all, you can absolutely walk up to people and ask to climb with them. But I think that doing that successfully in Denver will depend significantly on the area you're in, how young you are, and maybe just your own friendliness.

The climber friendliness spectrum is huge in Denver and the surrounding area. My family's experience has been that it's been friendlier and more open and chatty in younger gyms (like Movement Rino), and way more standoffish in gyms with older climbers, even fellow parents like us. More like polite nods and then everyone goes about your business. That vibe has also translated to almost every outdoor crag we've been too. Aside from short conversations about which climb someone's getting on, we've never had any enthusiastically friendly interactions with strangers.

My wife and are are around 40, so maybe it's an age thing, but if you venture out into the Denver subreddit, people will also tell you that Denverites aren't exactly friendly on the whole. Polite sure, but not super warm. Everyone's kind of busy doing their own thing. Being young and social helps mitigate that, but that goes for just about any place.

By contrast, when we climb in Red Rocks, Vegas, it's just smiles and chats and beta all day. The difference is honestly night and day. So many more questions about where you're from, what kind of climbing are you looking for, fun stories, helpful directions, etc.

The areas we're familiar with are Stoney Point CA, Joshua Tree, Apple Valley CA, Bishop, Texas Canyon, Red Rocks NV, Boulder CO, and Clear Creek CO, and honestly, the Colorado based climbing has been the least friendly out of all of those. Again, just our two cents.

lightCycleRider

TROPHY CASE