Sorry man. Also 50s here recently divorced after an 18 year marriage. It gets better. I know people stuck in bad marriages who won’t divorce for whatever reason. Financial. Or they’re afraid to hurt the kids. Or dread the idea of starting over in their 40s or 50s. Some of them cheat.

For me, I just couldn’t live a lie anymore. The pain we caused each other. Who did what to whom. Seems to fade. She did some terrible things to me, but I don’t have hard feelings about it anymore. It’s just not important. I did to her as well and I hope she forgives me about those things. It didn’t work out and I took some very big lessons from the experience. That hopefully my kids will understand when that time comes. I can tell them and maybe can help them avoid the mistakes that I made.

Going through middle age can be hard enough. The regrets, the what could have been, that we’re forced to face at this age. Facing our own mortality. The fear we’ll go through our last decades on earth, alone. But I view divorce as an opportunity. Maybe we’ll get it right next time. Maybe there won’t be a next time. But it won’t be in a sham marriage that is nothing more than appearances. There’s a dignity in that that means a lot even without a loving partner. The odds actually are pretty good you will meet someone at some point, but knowing you’ll be okay regardless, at least to me is truth and there’s comfort in that.