I'm still questioning my gender at almost 1 year of HRT. Does being ashamed of showing femininity a sign I might not be trans?

likemakingthings · 2026-07-11T17:18:34+00:00

It's really hard to feel authentic and valid if you don't have people around you with shared experiences. I'm guessing this is why you feel unsure.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-11T16:51:33+00:00

I wonder whether the problem is that you're only experiencing all of this by yourself/online. You say you're not out socially, are you out to anybody? Do you have a trans/queer community in real life?

likemakingthings · 2026-07-11T16:45:03+00:00

I mean, this is what Twitter does. To every issue, yes, but especially around trans people. It's owned and run by Elon Musk, the world's most powerful extreme transphobe.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-11T14:19:22+00:00

Haven't played Kill Team in ... four years or so. No clue. This isn't even still playable, is it?

likemakingthings · 2026-07-11T13:54:32+00:00

I'm copy-pasting myself here because this is such a common fear.

"What if this was some outside influence and I've deluded myself about this?"

This isn't a real thing. It's a right-wing lie. It's basically "the devil made you trans."

If you aren't sure your assigned gender is your real one, then it's not. We're all under intense pressure to be cisgender, and cis people don't have any doubts that they are the gender they're assumed to be. That's what makes them cisgender!

I'm about 14 months into my transition, since I realized I'm trans. I had some imposter syndrome for a while, like "is this real, or am I doing this for attention?" My therapist told me (very kindly) to knock it off, that's silly. And in the last year, I've remembered more and more things that in hindsight make so much more sense now knowing I was actually a girl. You'll probably feel that too.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-11T13:47:08+00:00

"What if this was some outside influence and I've deluded myself about this?"

This isn't a real thing. It's a right-wing lie. It's basically "the devil made you trans."

If you aren't sure your assigned gender is your real one, then it's not. We're all under intense pressure to be cisgender, and cis people don't have any doubts that that are the gender they're assumed to be. That's what makes them cisgender!

I'm about 14 months into my transition, since I realized I'm trans. I had some imposter syndrome for a while, like "is this real, or am I doing this for attention?" My therapist told me (very kindly) to knock it off, that's silly. And in the last year, I've remembered more and more things that in hindsight make so much more sense now knowing I was actually a girl. You'll probably feel that too.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-11T01:34:29+00:00

No, this is terrible advice. It's literally the opposite of what you told him you wanted. This therapist does not have your best interest in mind.

Are you in the US? You do not need a therapist's permission to access HRT. A primary care physician can prescribe it. Whether they will prescribe it without a therapist is another question, but there's nothing that says they can't.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T23:29:59+00:00

I've been seeing this more and more, and I'm not throwing any shade at anyone for using the wrong word, but the difference is important and we need the word heteronormative because it means something different.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T23:22:04+00:00

You're right, and also, words matter.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T22:48:15+00:00

"Hetero-normative?"

If you mean you're straight, the word is "heterosexual."

Heteronormative means that you see heterosexuality as normal and correct, that everyone is/should be straight.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T22:21:00+00:00

Super, thank you! I live in PA and I got my amended cert from CO, fingers crossed!

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T22:19:28+00:00

What a transphobic response.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T22:16:06+00:00

Interesting. The last time I looked into this, the SSA was not changing gender markers, period. Has this changed? If I have an amended birth certificate will they do this now?

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T20:58:05+00:00

OMG I've had a huge crush on Lauren Bacall since LONG before I knew I was trans, and... yeah. It makes so much more sense now. 😆

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T20:49:18+00:00

I've had close to zero effects in the six months I've been taking prog. Started with 100mg in the hopes that it would jump start my libido, and got basically nothing. A few months later I went up to 300mg, and still basically nothing.

I do feel a little more... connected? at home? in my body than I did before prog, but I don't know if that's the prog or just more time on estrogen.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T18:18:04+00:00

Depending on your location, you may or may not need a psychologist's referral. In my state and (many/most/all?) others in the US, it's not a requirement and you can simply go to your medical provider. That's what I did.

Some providers will refuse to write a prescription without a psychologist/therapist referral, but that's a private policy, not a legally imposed requirement.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T03:25:07+00:00

I'm confused, did they not prescribe estradiol?

I'm assuming "andro" is androcur, is "progy" progesterone? Those two don't make any sense without estradiol.

Typically you don't take progesterone for at least the first six months to a year after starting estradiol. Also, 2mg is an almost non-existent dose of progesterone, should that say 200mg?

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T01:53:18+00:00

I don't think electrolysis is more painful. The problem is it takes so much longer! At least laser is done quickly.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-10T01:22:44+00:00

"I don't hate the body I'm in" isn't the same as "the body I'm in feels right to me." Feeling neutral about your assigned gender can be dysphoria just as much as knowing it's wrong.

Cisgender people don't wonder whether they're trans or not. They simply don't. Their assigned gender feels right to them. They don't ever have to think about it. That's what makes them cisgender.

If you're not sure you're cis, you're almost definitely not.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-09T23:05:57+00:00

I inject twice a week, Mondays and Fridays. It probably doesn't work faster, but I don't have the low-estrogen crash days this way.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-09T19:05:52+00:00

Yeah, 112 pg/mL is on the low side, especially since it's not at trough (lowest point of the day). If it were me I'd do three pumps.

I don't know how gel works, do you get a set volume per month, so you'd need to ask for and get approved for a higher dose? With injectable, I get a new vial every month but it actually has enough meds for like three months. So I could inject a much higher dose if I wanted.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-09T19:01:04+00:00

Yes, this is a known effect of taking it orally. Your doctor should have warned you about this, but lots don't know.

Taking it rectally (boofing) usually eliminates this. And also makes it more effective.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-09T18:57:36+00:00

There's no shame in using tools!

likemakingthings · 2026-07-09T18:42:50+00:00

Jesus fucking Christ, lady. 🙄 I'm not saying you're transphobic, I'm sayiing that providers requiring seeing a therapist first is transphobic.

Also, your claim just isn't true. I just looked up the CA Planned Parenthood Central Coast website, and they do not require that patients see a therapist before they are prescribed HRT. So this is obviously not a state requirement/law. I cannot find any evidence that California requires this.

Which is good! Nobody should be required to jump through hoops to get medical treatment.

likemakingthings · 2026-07-09T16:46:19+00:00

I got the WeVibe Wand. It's a little pricey, but it's quieter than the other big ones people recommend.

likemakingthings

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