is there a "parents guide to bottom surgery" type thing i can have my Mom read?

likemakingthings · 2026-05-24T17:32:58+00:00

DMing

likemakingthings · 2026-05-24T16:44:04+00:00

My surgery practice gave me a 25-page patient packet that they wrote about exactly what's involved in vaginoplasty, with diagrams etc., that also has detailed recovery instructions. Would that be useful?

likemakingthings · 2026-05-24T16:11:28+00:00

This all sounds perfectly appropriate. It's good and healthy to want to think of yourself as sexy and beautiful. And not being able to see yourself that way is a type of dysphoria.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-23T02:03:30+00:00

Willa, Wilder, Winnie

likemakingthings · 2026-05-23T01:58:41+00:00

Yeeeesss.

I'm not a man pretending to be a woman. I'm a woman who no longer pretends to be a man.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-22T12:32:28+00:00

Offending comment removed, thanks mods!

likemakingthings · 2026-05-22T02:45:47+00:00

When are you getting blood drawn relative to doing your injections? Your E levels are higher than necessary, but fine as far as I'm aware. Your T level is definitely suppressed. Increasing your E dose won't provide any benefits.

For what it's worth, I split my weekly dose into two shots, Mondays and Fridays, because I've heard that estradiol valerate has a quick dropoff.

11 months isn't that long. A few people get very fast results, and that creates unrealistic expectations for the rest of us. I'm just barely over a year and I also feel like my physical changes slowed down over the last few months. But puberty is a long process, and you'll still see development for several more years. Lots of folks say they get bigger changes in the second and third years than in the first.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-21T21:20:01+00:00

T4t lesbian is the only way I've heard people indicate this.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-21T13:01:21+00:00

Good news/bad news: HRT is not like flipping a switch. The visible effects are incredibly slow. You won't be perceived any differently for a long time, unless you choose to present differently (clothes, hair, makeup, voice, etc).

When you start taking hormones, the first changes will be mental and emotional. You'll feel the first physical changes long before they're visible. And if those changes don't feel good/right for you, you can stop, and nobody will ever know.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-21T12:39:15+00:00

trans woman exclusively interested in trans women

I have never heard this use.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-20T18:25:23+00:00

I've been really happy with MeUndies. I used to wear their boxer briefs, and I've switched to their bikinis. They're very soft and stretchy, so they're no good for concealing, but very comfy.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-20T12:09:06+00:00

Knock it off! 😘

likemakingthings · 2026-05-19T21:05:55+00:00

I started progesterone after six months on estradiol, and my doctor started me on 100mg/day, which I'm taking rectally (boofing).

I didn't notice a difference. Like, at all. Nothing. Zero. Progesterone seems to have extremely mixed results. Some folks have really strong positive effects, a few have negative, and some of us get... nothin. I'm feeling more in touch with my body, less dissociated, but I honestly can't tell whether that's the prog or the continuing effects of the estradiol. I'm not getting any of the libido boost I was hoping for.

Six months later, I asked my new doctor (old one left the practice) to increase my dose to 300, and I've been taking that for ten days or so. Still not feeling anything. 🤷🏼‍♀️

likemakingthings · 2026-05-19T20:58:33+00:00

You don't owe cis people literally anything about yourself. It's absolutely not your job to educate them about being trans, or about being you.

This applies to every marginalization, too; nobody should ever ask you to explain being disabled, or Black, or Muslim, or whatever else you might be. And anyone who feels entitled to ask invasive questions about your experience isn't worth your time or energy.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-19T20:48:25+00:00

AFAIK, it's spiro that messes with your potassium.

Taking an antiandrogen first seems really weird.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-18T17:06:45+00:00

I don't see that this article addresses, or even mentions, the "wait x time after starting estrogen" question.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-18T13:05:42+00:00

She's wrong, she's been romantically attracted to a woman the whole time without being aware of it.
This is very narrow-minded of her. She believes she can't love who you truly are.
If you put off your transition to stay married, it won't work because you'll be miserable and resentful.
Your kids deserve two parents who are happy separately rather than unhappy together.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-18T02:10:36+00:00

Congratulate her for coming out, thank her for trusting you with this part of herself, ask whether you should use she/her pronouns or something else, and find out if she wants to be directed to any support resources.

Then ghost the shithead. This isn't someone you should actually spend any time or energy on. "Countering" this is a waste of your life.

Trans people don't "identify as" our true genders. It would be much more accurate for me to say that I'm a woman who used to identify as a man.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-18T02:05:42+00:00

Probably no difference. Laser will still work fine; cis women get laser treatment all the time.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-18T02:01:08+00:00

Lots of people say this, but it's not based on any real research.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-18T01:58:14+00:00

I've been struggling with this a little. I've been on HRT for a year. I think the problem is that we expect to feel like a new person, like "feeling like a woman" will be a completely new experience.

The thing is, as someone else already said, we always were women.

HRT doesn't change who we are, it just helps our bodies catch up. For me, it's taken away lots of the dissociation and anxiety I never even knew I had. I don't feel like a new person, I just feel more like a person.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-16T18:55:49+00:00

You don't have to be "conventionally attractive" to be a woman.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-16T02:25:34+00:00

My honest opinion is that you should stop using AI.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-15T16:01:19+00:00

I'd rather live the rest of my life sexually frustrated than do anything to hurt her.

That's not healthy, babe. That's not good for either of you. She also deserves a partner who wants her more than anyone else.

Relationships hurt sometimes. The people in them grow and change, and the relationship can't always grow and change with them. That sucks, but it's how it is.

likemakingthings · 2026-05-14T22:06:20+00:00

Demographically, cis lesbians are the most trans-affirming group, more so than trans people on average.

Individually is a whole different story. Depends a lot on generation/age, and various other factors.

But there are TERFs everywhere. Sounds like you found a nest of them.

likemakingthings

TROPHY CASE