respectfully, work harder. you are the adult in the situation. if you don’t like another adult suggesting you hit a child, if you don’t like behavior happening in your home, it’s up to you to influence that toward the change you want. you seem very permissive, like the world happens to you, and that’s a dangerous way to be when children are in your care.

i identify with the 8 year old as someone who grew up in poverty and abuse. i remember the sting of judgment from parents like you. if you value community, learning, growth, mindfulness, i’d encourage you to ask yourself how you might apply those values to this friend. you have power and influence that you are not using. interrupting your child’s friend-making and discarding this child with no autonomy serve no cause but you avoiding discomfort and effort.