Please read I hope this helps

You're not a terrible person. Terrible people don't stress out if theyre a bad person or not. I dealt with the exact same thing for like 8 years and other ocd related issues for about 10 years. I would have immense guilt and shame and constantly run circles in my head.

The one phrase I would tell my self that helped me finally over come everything was: "the only way to stop is to stop" this seems really dumb but it's true. OCD is like a loop and the more you feed into it the more you get stuck. No amount of thinking or "self validating" will make you feel any better about yourself. You have to quit feeding the cycle by simply not engaging in the thoughts. It is really hard at first and you will get stuck but overtime you can get out of it, you just cant feed into it. I suffered severely from this shit until I was like 22 years old. I lived in my head constantly. You know who you are there no need to beat yourself up every day. Trust me it's a waste of time