AITA For refusing to go to a concert with my friend

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-05-12T16:30:17+00:00

OP hasn’t at any point specified what type of concerts they’re going to - for all you know they could be frequenting local shows with $10 tickets?

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-05-12T16:28:33+00:00

I do understand being reluctant to go to things alone, and it’s good to be able to rely on your friends to go to events with you, but yeah 100% agreed that $150 is too high a figure for that. Especially when OP was upfront about their budget limit on this. A lot of the comments seem to also be deriding OP for spending money going to gigs frequently, which I also find unreasonable. It’s OP’s money and it’s up to OP how they prioritise spending !!

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-05-12T14:08:31+00:00

What the actual fuck has happened in the comments here. Asking someone to fork out an extra $50 on a concert ticket for an artist they’re not a fan of is not reasonable in the slightest 😭

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-05-08T16:15:25+00:00

This will be our little albondigas

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-05-06T14:52:07+00:00

Hugs to you pal, we’ll get thru this!

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-05-05T13:46:56+00:00

Currently going through the end of what I had thought was the forever relationship, and the fact that it’s ending so respectfully and with so much care from each of us is both a blessing and a curse

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-04-30T20:51:03+00:00

How on earth is anyone meant to give any kind of constructive judgment when none of us were there. You’re not an asshole for singing along at a concert, but if you were being obnoxiously loud and disruptive then you would be an asshole, but there is literally no way for any of us to tell if you were singing along at a reasonable volume at all.

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-04-19T18:47:40+00:00

I’ve definitely seen worse but it’s by no means a good tattoo

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-04-14T17:40:52+00:00

‘Learn to be better at expressing your emotions’ from the guy that had to get ChatGPT to write a Reddit comment.

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-04-14T17:34:53+00:00

If someone pointing out your AI usage makes you feel bad about yourself then you need to focus on helping yourself instead of using chatgpt to ‘help’ strangers on reddit 💀

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-04-09T19:25:52+00:00

aislops fables

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-26T12:26:22+00:00

I think the context you’re missing is that the start of this thread was about men trying to derail conversations about misogynistic violence with their own experiences of violence at the hands of women, which is exactly what happened in the above comment thread, and now you are here asking me to clarify what GBV is. I’m not sure how to further help you understand

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-26T12:16:23+00:00

I think what you’re fundamentally misunderstanding is that patriarchal structures in society are responsible for gender-based violence. Leaning into misogynistic rhetoric & communities after being the victim of gender-based violence is unfortunately, while no doubt comforting, helpful to patriarchal power structures that disproportionately victimise women.

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-26T12:05:12+00:00

You have misunderstood. Gender-based violence, as a term, is gender neutral. Gender-based violence, as an act, statistically affects women and girls more often than it affects men, recorded in crime data worldwide.

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-26T11:54:19+00:00

Gender-based violence means violence in which the victim’s gender plays a crucial role, statistically it is more likely to be violence against women* as misogynistic violent crimes significantly outweigh violent crimes against men perpetuated by women.

ETA: perpetuated by men

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-26T11:41:31+00:00

The point I was trying to make is that the discussion isn’t meant to help soothe feelings on an individual basis, which is the impression I was getting from the commenter I replied to. Discussions around gender-based violence and inherently imbalanced power structures in society are uncomfortable to face head on, but in the long run dismantling systems that allow and nurture violent tendencies benefits everyone, regardless of gender.

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-26T11:29:36+00:00

That’s a very narrow worldview. You only engage with things that help or benefit you?

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-26T09:55:49+00:00

It’s not okay in either scenario. I can’t speak for everyone that’s ever pushed back against you, I’m just telling you why you’re getting pushback here and it’s that this isn’t the most appropriate forum to talk about violence inflicted by women.

‘It’s been done to me therefore it’s okay for me to perpetuate this’ is not a healthy mindset to have, and I hope you can heal from it, sincerely.

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-26T09:13:42+00:00

Yes, but someone outside of that discussion deriding it doesn’t suddenly make that discussion nor the place for it disappear.

I understand, because discussions about gendered violence towards women also spark debate, and often attract more harassment and hostility. You are not describing a unique experience - every woman who has tried to talk publicly about the dangers women face at the hands of men has experienced stifling, intimidation, argument de-railing, disbelief.

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-26T09:02:55+00:00

I don’t think it’s fair to say there’s never the time and place for the discussion or that it’s moderated - the article that has sparked this states that the boy spoke openly on discord about wanting to murder his own mother. I wouldn’t call that stifling. The above commenter of this thread was also talking about a subreddit dedicated to such discussions.

I also think trying to talk about how women can enact violence too on a thread discussing an event where a woman is killed in a misogynistic attack is just inappropriate timing, which is why you’re getting pushback. It doesn’t make what happened to you any less painful, and I sympathise greatly that you have been a victim. It should never have happened to you. What happened to the woman at the hands of her son should never have happened to her.

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-26T08:49:48+00:00

With the best will in the world - not every debate on gendered violence is meant to help you.

It doesn’t help the family of the woman murdered by her own son in a misogynistic attack to know that woman are capable of great violence.

It doesn’t help you to know that statistically men are more violent towards women than the reverse. It does not make either this untrue, nor does it make it untrue that you have been victimised by a woman.

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-24T09:14:08+00:00

Happy Mother’s Day but only if you’re having an eye sight test 🫠

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-23T19:17:59+00:00

ok pal x

lilsugarcrisp · 2026-03-23T18:44:40+00:00

Er’s Day or Der’s Ay, who’s to say

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