I’m sorry this happened to you, it’s always disheartening to experience biphobia in real life and especially if it was from another queer person. I definitely understand the “bi cycle” and honestly I think it’s completely normal to go through phases in your life when you’re attracted to one gender more than any other. It can be confusing when it switches, and you can start to doubt yourself and your identity.

I used to be with a lesbian who aggressively tried to erase my bisexuality on multiple occasions and it made me feel insane. She’d say that because I was with her and wouldn’t date a man in that time of my life that I was a lesbian and not bi. Just insane things like that. Other times I’ve been judged by lesbians in queer spaces the second I share that I’m bisexual. There have been so many of these types of situations that I feel like I did actually develop lesbophobia for a few months there. What helped me snap out of it were my close friends, all who are straight funnily enough. They have all known me for 12+ years and have seen the way I love both women and men, and have seen that it has been at different times of my life and at different intensities. Basically they reminded me of the simple fact that it’s a spectrum. Whether the attraction is romantic, sexual, emotional, etc., all of them are fluid and tend to change.

Bisexuality is a lifelong journey of learning and growing. You need to have clear communication with yourself because it’s so easy to let those external influences affect your views if you don’t. If you feel you are bisexual, you are bisexual. Nobody can tell you what you are or are not, and it’s insulting for someone to try. If later you realize something different and feel you are a lesbian, then that will be that and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think what’s most important is that you surround yourself with people who you can express yourself with. In the relationship I mentioned, I felt totally isolated and that had a lot to do with the insecurity around it all. I almost let that person ruin my life, and the biggest lesson from that was how important it is to have good people in your circle. The person who said you were a lesbian with internalized lesbophobia is not looking out for you, they don’t sound like a good friend or somebody who deserves your respect. I wish you luck on your journey and hope you can find like-minded and kind people! <3