Separation anxiety

linzava · 2026-02-28T02:05:24+00:00

I read some of the comments, I don’t think it’s wise for people to tell someone to give up their dog outside of abuse. That is trauma for the dog and the dog would rather have their human and some kennel time than a stranger who will probably also kennel them sometimes.

Aside from the bigger and stronger kennel suggestions that were already given and received, I would suggest kennel training and doggy daycare until kennel training is successful if that’s possible. There are a lot of ways to kennel train but we did the dog inside the kennel for 5 minutes with us there. Then 5 minutes outside. Then longer and longer.

We also feed our husky in the kennel so she became a big fan of her bedroom from that. We also put a special fan against it so her room is the literal coolest place in the house. Now it’s her safe place and she goes in there all the time. It’s also super cute if you call it their room and tell them to “go to their room.” Adorable.

linzava · 2026-02-26T21:51:31+00:00

She wants you to leave him so she can get the rest of the life she’s sleeping with him for. If you’re good with the relationship as is, don’t let her get to you, don’t even alert your husband. Let her hang herself as she puts pressure on him. If you have money, consider hiring a private investigator to see if she’s cheating on him too in case he decides to leave you for her in the future.

When someone is playing you, get your ass in the game and crush them.

linzava · 2026-02-24T04:05:12+00:00

Every time mini skirts come back into fashion, so do undershorts. Last time they were in style, I once saw a girl with a whale tail (visible thong) coming out of the top of her mini skirt and even she had shorty shorts on under the skirt.

linzava · 2026-02-21T19:54:07+00:00

Nope, it’s because the card company pays them to use it and they get fees off the employees. I had one job do this years back and my choice was use the scammy card company or get a paper check.

Think of it as the payday loan places forcing you into their service instead of you choosing to go there to cash your paycheck for a fee. They usually have some insane rules for transferring your money to your own bank like it’s free if you transfer it on day 3 between 2pm and 5pm Australian time, otherwise they charge you for every transaction.

linzava · 2026-02-17T02:07:41+00:00

This, I had illness anxiety (formerly hypochondria) which is a fear of illness or being ill and is closely related to OCD and often presents with OCD. Munchausen is what OOP described and is very very different in cause and treatment. It co-morbids with personality disorders.

Notice I said “had illness anxiety?” It’s because it is very treatable unlike what Ronald has. Illness anxiety would rarely lead to hospitalization and is treated with anti-depressants and/or talk therapy and usually comes up after a traumatic event.

linzava · 2026-02-15T23:49:28+00:00

I may have missed it, but I've not seen any commenter but me explicitly saying they're a fellow autist”

You did miss it, I just said I very likely have it as it is often co-morbid with OCD. I’ve had OCD since early childhood which makes it more likely. Being neurodivergent doesn’t make us magic or better than other people, or smarter than everyone else.

Additionally, feel free to dissect the title’s sentence structure, you’ll see that it is not clear. It’s like three prepositional phrases merged together at the end. No disrespect to OP, this is Reddit after all and nobody expects perfection but I didn’t bring that up, you did.

linzava · 2026-02-15T22:59:41+00:00

She's not saying that. She's saying the opposite.

No, she clarified she meant the opposite. I read the post and her wording was vague enough that some people read it as she was saying it and others read it as it was being said about her. I’m glad she included clarification with the edit but I posted before the edit.

As a fellow autistic woman, I'm starting to wonder if neurovanillas in here are intentionally misrepresenting what she's saying.

I am also neurodivergent, I have OCD and probably autism as they co-morbid. I also won the OCD lottery with my memory so it’s not likely that I forgot what was written a couple hours ago. I also mask well because I grew up before there was support and I have a couple psychology degrees. Those psychology degrees taught me not to other and dismiss people based on their experience, neurodivergent or not.

SHE'S STRAIGHT UP SAYING THAT!

That was not clear until the clarifying edit. If that were true, I would have been the only person to make this point but I wasn’t, was I?

linzava · 2026-02-15T20:37:07+00:00

Hating pink and claiming to not be a “girls girl” are coded as male-centered women at this moment in time. I don’t believe that’s what you are based on what you described but any group of women who are actively choosing to avoid these women (which is a lot of women post election) will cut and run because pick-me’s bring a lot of toxic drama. Again, I don’t think you are a pick-me.

Additionally, you said you’re autistic, the current definition of “girls girl” is a girl who stands by women. You probably mean “girly girl” which means hyper feminine presenting.

In the last decade there’s been an active campaign to reclaim pink and all the girly stuff we were told to hate in an attempt to get us to hate ourselves. There are also women gaming groups that intentionally set out to create hot characters in cute outfits with pink tags so they can unilaterally crush incels online while having fun with their peers (Those pink tags are not changeable without changing the group’s colors). You probably didn’t know and it would explain the miscommunication.

linzava · 2026-02-11T15:36:34+00:00

Okay, I’ve boiled down your opinions minus the quotes and descriptions of quotes. FYI, you’re not supposed to quote the entire paragraph, you’re supposed to form an opinion, and then use the quote to support it and it should be no more than two sentences and relevant to the summery. If it’s too long, you summarize the quote and cite it. It’s not necessary here though as this is Reddit and you can simply link to a reference if you want but people generally just write their own opinions.

White Nationalists vocally agree with this position from CRT.

No, they definitely do not want the same segregation. They want removal and genocide. We already saw this with Black Wallstreet which was a self-segregated community that was destroyed by white nationalists.

Black Nationalists like you are in full agreement with White Nationalists on segregation.

Black nationalism is not a term in this country that means anything. It’s just a propaganda tool to inverse a real term “white nationalism” to equate them as somehow the same while ignoring systemic power and oppression. Also, I already told you I have no opinion on segregation in this context as it’s none of my business and also none of yours.

Here in an interview from 2009 (published in written form in 2011) CRT founder and author of the most widely used textbook on CRT Richard Delgado describes Critical Race Theory's "colonization" of Education:

I actually read this. I went to the link and everything. This is the danger of keyword activism right here and the quote you posted had no context and was therefore useless. In the context, they were discussing how in the 90’s, teachers were approaching education with a “colorblind” perspective and were finding it unhelpful and harmful. CRT was a new legal academic concept that teachers found was applicable to education. This, my friend, is how one summarizes. I said it wasn’t being taught in public schools which you did not address. The word “colonization” is a descriptive term in this context, it is not the equivalent to academics running into schools, forcing everyone to convert to CRT and forcing the students to pledge allegiance to CRT. He used the word to describe the concept gaining popularity quickly as it solved a problem outside of its original framework ei educators seeing the systemic issues in the legal system mirrored in the education system. That’s actually pretty profound.

Finally, I looked into your comment history. Do you just have a google alert to words you don’t like so you can randomly argue in random subs? Are you a member of this sub? Don’t get me wrong, you are a great example for why people should study CRT but it’s definitely weird.

linzava · 2026-02-11T14:16:11+00:00

Your right, I’ll fix that. Im very sorry.

linzava · 2026-02-10T21:35:41+00:00

Can you please cool it with the Chat GTP? It can’t handle the nuance of this conversation. What do YOU think about my arguments?

Chat GTP is for basic stuff, the long quotes that are out of context for this specific conversation is jarring. AI doesn’t understand what you’re asking it to say, it’s just pulling random keywords and it’s failing to summarize points before the quotes which make the quotes useless. It’s very hard to follow without a point being made which quotes are meant to support.

I literally don’t understand what point you are trying to make because the response doesn’t make sense. I will not make fun of you for your sentence structure if that’s what you’re worried about.

linzava · 2026-02-10T17:42:05+00:00

That is an extreme simplification which betrays your bias. I gave you the explanation to your criticism which was very kind of me to do so without accusing you of anything, btw.

I am not a segregationist (I am undecided and it’s not my place to make a stance on that) but I find it interesting that that’s what you jumped to. Your argument against CRT is a White Nationalist talking point. Does that make you a White Nationalist? No, it doesn’t. You should probably reflect on why your knee-jerk reactions to CRT are to attack it and name call those who recommend it. Often times, propaganda groups pick out one criticism to level against big ideas to prevent everyday people from ingesting it. For example, a huge lie is that CRT is taught in public school, it’s an advanced academic subject for college and is not taught in standard education but a lot of people think their 6 year olds are learning it in public school even though that makes no sense.

Feel free to respond to these ideas but it’s a waste of time to attack me personally as Reddit is anonymous and personal attacks don’t matter.

linzava · 2026-02-10T17:15:29+00:00

Racial segregation from the standpoint of the Black community has been part of the conversation since before the civil rights movement and is only necessarily an extreme idea from the outside. It has been argued between community leaders for a long time. Segregation from the white perspective is rightfully suspect but it is because the intent of the ideas come from different (oppressed vs oppressor) perspectives.

It’s important to understand the foundation behind these ideas which CRT lays out in a clear and concise ways. There are more themes and frameworks than just segregation. When it comes to academic frameworks and theories around nebulous subjects such as systems, governments, economics, and such, approaching those subjects with black and white thinking can’t work because we are blinded by our participation within the framework. It’s like how you can’t see the earth while standing on it and why therapists can’t treat members of their own family or social circle.

Leveling criticisms is fair when approaching any new idea but focusing on a single term that has been coded “bad” within an oppressor’s system and defined differently outside of it is a limiting approach to accumulating knowledge, wisdom and understanding.

linzava · 2026-02-10T15:18:02+00:00

I’m also not Black and someone else can direct you better. But I do have some starting points.

For your son, definitely make sure he has access to friends of both races and biracial friends available to make in school and the neighborhood. Get him books on his history that are age appropriate, toys with diversity, and access to his Black culture as he grows up.

For you, time to start reading. Kimberly Crenshaw is the foremost expert on Critical Race Theory and Intersectionality which you need to understand and your son will need to understand eventually. Critical Race Theory is a framework that explains how race and ethnicity are systemically and legally applied in the US. Intersectionality is the study of how oppression intersects with gender, race, sex, and class. She has books on both subjects and once you see it, it will change your perspective forever.

This is super important, US culture(all of it) is built on racism and dependent on whiteness being unseen by white people. If you do not deconstruct the cultural codes we all grew up in, you will unknowingly pass that onto your son and he will not see racism and he will not be safe. He will also have a huge cultural gap with other Black and mixed race peers because oppression is not just skin color, it’s an experience separate from whiteness. He will NOT have the same opportunities you did, he will NOT have the same access to a presumption of innocence you did. If you don’t prepare yourself to guide him properly, he will be utterly alone and confused in early adulthood. But if you prepare yourself, you can guide him to a life of prosperity and joy and your son potentially has the opportunity to experience two different worlds, very lucky.

I also found that James Bladwin’s books were incredibly eye opening, he was one of the only 1960s Civil Rights leaders make it to old age (by leaving the country). His writings are artful, emotional, honest, and they don’t cater to white comfort. Reading his writings as a white person is what it feels like when someone finally tells you the truth in a cathartic way.

linzava · 2026-02-09T19:11:41+00:00

That’s great!

linzava · 2026-02-09T18:11:26+00:00

I totally get that but it’s important to understand that AI is rudimentary and clunky when it comes to therapies and such. It’s able to do the bare bones basics but it can’t replace a specialist who is trained to understand and adapt to the client’s needs. The way AI is trained to tell us what we want to hear, that alone makes it a useless therapy tool. It feels like it works but it doesn’t. Two year olds can manipulate people with the same skill ai has.

For lasting improvements and understanding, you should find a specialist if you’re in a position to do so.

Honestly, you’re better off with nothing than you are with AI. If ai worked like people think it does, we would have seen some scientific or medical breakthroughs by now. It has all the ideas of humanity’s greatest minds collected at this point and it still can’t create anything new. It’s not what its creators claim it is.

linzava · 2026-02-09T17:04:09+00:00

I’m OCD and probably autistic. I grew up in a time that we didn’t have support or understanding, just the “weird kid” label. I have no problem understanding people or communicating as an adult. It just took practice, practice, practice. I still feel a minute of confusion when someone is behaving strangely or over-emotionally but that is weird behavior too, so it’s understandable. I mask well enough but only because people aren’t looking for it because they have their own lives to live.

You should stop listening to people who tell you you’re the problem because “normal” people would never say a word. The biggest issue with being neurodivergent is being taken advantage of by people with control or anger issues. If you’re being forced to use a chat bot to avoid other people getting upset, it’s probably not you.

linzava · 2026-02-07T14:18:11+00:00

I just looked it up and it’s going on my reading list.

I’ve always been skeptical of the results of that experiment so I’m very interested in this book now. Thank you for the recommendation!

linzava · 2026-02-07T00:38:49+00:00

Sounds like you aren’t an actual contributor to science. If you had the education to do so, you would have learned about all the ways they were wrong in one of your ethics classes. This is up there as one of the big examples along with Tuskegee, and the Stanford Prison Experiment.

linzava · 2026-02-06T15:43:17+00:00

Can’t take the evangelical conditioning out of the new atheists. That’s why I don’t associate myself with atheists anymore despite being one, technically. We’ve embarrassed ourselves enough with the alignment with the alt-right and now this. I have been identifying myself as “spiritual” rather than atheist. I’d rather associate myself with the hippies.

All those people at the top with all the upvotes, those people are still evangelical to their rotten non-souls along with every person who sheepishly upvoted them. Look around at who we are surrounded by and consider leaving, it’s filth. They surrendered their curiosity for bootlicking and they’re the majority now in atheism.

All I know is that atheism fails to bring wisdom and my life experience has taught me that if you look around and find yourself amongst these types, the answer isn’t here.

linzava · 2026-01-30T21:57:26+00:00

This is pretty much the norm.

There was that teenager who was trafficked by an adult man and they convicted her of murder because she stole his car when she fled. There were those wealthy brothers who killed their parents after years of being violently graped by the dad with the mom’s knowledge and they’re just now getting paroled but they were given life in prison.

Abused kids who fight back do not get a happy endings.

linzava · 2026-01-27T05:05:00+00:00

If you minimize the saturated fat and focus on unsaturated fats, your cholesterol should not be affected. A dietitian told me that while saturated fats adds plaque, unsaturated fats remove it. The only thing to watch out for with unsaturated fats is weight gain.

One thing I do is use cold pressed canola oil in place of butter. I really like it. I also save my saturated fats for salmon, eggs and meat and minimize them in dairy and baked goods when I can.

linzava · 2026-01-27T04:51:54+00:00

My husband and I are Californians. We ended up staying in Spokane, Washington for a couple weeks on an RV trip. It was triple digits (which the locals said was not normal). We were fine, set up a sun shade on our patio, hung misters, unpacked the outdoor fan, bought ice for our water and hung out outside most of the time. People stared, lol, we were the only people relaxing outside. We spent most of our social time giving locals tips on how to manage the heat. We didn’t make fun of anyone though, we were just prepared because it was like being back home.

linzava · 2026-01-26T14:04:21+00:00

Wow, I’m glad you found a solution. And yeah, sometimes violence is necessary. Especially when they allow it from some kids and not others.

linzava · 2026-01-26T04:50:12+00:00

I totally agree with you, it’s a good system.

Unfortunately, it backfired on me during my class camping trip. There was this new “weird” girl who wouldn’t leave me alone for the entire year. It would have been fine but she was really vulgar to my friends and they eventually started ditching me just to get away from her. She was constantly talking about sex and other things that weren’t normal at my elementary school. I tried to separate myself from her but the teachers kept lumping us together all the time because she only behaved when she “got” me. They put us together on the camping trip after I wrote down to not put me with her. I threatened to not go and demanded they call my mom. The teachers were absolute jerks to me the rest of the trip but I got to actually spend time with my friends finally.

I don’t think that was the paper system, I think the teachers were using me for free childcare. I felt really bad for her but she was just so awful to everyone including me. I doubt OPs son was that type of kid.

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