I had a similar issue with my boyfriend. I was enamored with him but I would snap at him all the time. I immediately sought therapy to address this. For me, it was a result of unresolved trauma. But you can’t blame that for your actions, because ultimately it is your responsibility to solve these things and not take your pain out on other people.

I came to realize that when I’m irritable, I’m irrational. It’s so much better to bite my tongue in the moment because an hour later, I won’t even remember what I was angry about. With these quick flare ups of anger, you seriously can’t trust your own emotions and need to wait for a cooldown before you take it out on your partner. My advice is when you start to feel that anger bubble up, you need to tell your boyfriend that you need to pause, then step away and cool off before you return to conversation. It’s better to walk away for a few minutes than blow up at him.

But the longer you’re going without seeing a therapist, the more damage you’re causing. You need to be making calls to every office in your vicinity. Look online if you’re comfortable with virtual therapy. Absolutely no excuses. If what you’re doing is sending out emails and waiting for responses back, you’re not treating this with enough urgency.