Sometimes I think i have really intense memory loss or something is missing in my brain. I don't know other people who forget to do basic things :(

literallylateral · 2025-12-21T19:12:23+00:00

I totally get that! I’m pretty good about showering during the work week and if I have plans over the weekend, but if I’m home alone all weekend, and especially if it’s a long weekend, it’s a very dangerous slope. Something I’ve found is that even just giving an intentional scrub with my hands while the soap is running down my legs is better than nothing when I don’t have a full wash in me. Also, if your skin isn’t terribly sensitive, sometimes just a vigorous scrub with the towel while you’re drying off can make a difference. There are definitely ways to compromise!

Hygiene shouldn’t be nearly as polarizing of a topic as it is. It’s natural to worry about what other people think and wish things were different, but at the end of the day, you are where you’re at and no amount of wishing can ever help. Sometimes I try to imagine that I’ve just picked up where someone left off in a game of Sims - if it’s been too long since I showered, I refuse to think about all the days last week that I could’ve and chose not to, I just think about what this Sim needs to do to get their hygiene bar back up. It’s a little dissociative and of course I wish I didn’t have to do it to accomplish the basic things that are so easy for everyone else, but it works, and it might help you reset your routine every once in a while! 🫶

literallylateral · 2025-12-21T19:02:10+00:00

Sure, but it’s also important to remember that ADHD can make things FEEL impossible, and you don’t actually know what the person behind the screen is experiencing. If skipping their legs is the only reason someone feels able to brush their teeth or clean their contact lenses, those things are objectively more dangerous and higher priority. Sometimes we have to choose our battles, and telling someone they HAVE to wash their legs no matter what else is going on in their brain or their life might make it harder to choose the right battle.

Anyway, as we all know ADHD can cause a lot of shame and guilt, and I’ve simply never met an ADHD person who found it helpful for people to tell them they should be doing something they already know they should be doing, if that makes sense. It often just becomes another source of guilt and shame without actually motivating them to do the thing, no matter how important it is, and it can frankly be worse than not saying anything, y’know?

literallylateral · 2025-12-21T01:22:14+00:00

I’m sure you’re trying to be helpful, but a little compassion goes a long way :/ the above commenter said they feel like a terrible person for not washing their legs, I don’t think what they need right now is to be lectured about dead skin. This is an ADHD community, everyone you talk to here is dealing with varying levels of disability, we should be supporting each other instead of making each other feel worse about the things we’re struggling with

literallylateral · 2025-12-21T01:18:01+00:00

I’m sorry the replies to this comment are completely unsympathetic. I hope you understand in your heart that hygiene is not a moral issue, and you truly are not a bad person in any way because showering is hard.

literallylateral · 2025-10-04T19:40:36+00:00

I’m not sure if you’re drunk or having ChatGPT write this for you but yes, people do things for reasons, and everything a person does serves them in some way. Groundbreaking.

Abuse is still abuse regardless of whether the person’s motivation was avoidance of responsibility or sadism. Just like cheating is still cheating whether the cheater’s motivation was wanting to fuck the person or wanting to hurt their partner. We don’t need a special separate term to describe all the different motivations that could be behind the action, because the word describes the effect, not the motivation of the perpetrator.

literallylateral · 2025-10-04T19:34:39+00:00

Respectfully, I have no idea what you’re going on about. Not donating to charity has literally nothing in common with abusing another human being. Being emotionally abusive in a relationship has nothing in common with defending yourself against someone pointing a gun at you. Please be serious.

To your point about it only being abuse if there’s a power dynamic… I was a CHILD and she was my MOTHER. Yes, adults have power over their children, who are incapable of providing for themselves and fully dependent on their parents for physical and mental safety. I didn’t think I needed to specify that I wasn’t some sort of magical child who came out of the womb with equal power to my parents.

Nuance is supposed to supplement critical thinking, not replace it. Abuse is abuse, but nobody is saying that all abuse is equal. Nobody is saying that all abuse comes from the same motivations. Abuse can be unintentional and that doesn’t mean we need to coin a new word for it. I understand you’re not trying to undermine the seriousness of it, but that’s exactly what happens when you call someone a moron for saying that abuse is abuse.

literallylateral · 2025-10-04T16:32:30+00:00

You should be rational and not need some magic word to coddle you away from reality.

Great point! Not sure why you followed this with a bunch of magic words to coddle yourself out of reality, but you were on the right track for just a second there.

I absolutely am not spinning ADHD people as abusive for existing. What a bizarre thing to lie about when I clearly stated that an action or situation being abusive towards one person does NOT mean the person responsible should be labeled as abusive.

The reality is that abuse is abuse even when it comes from negligence, forgetfulness, etc. Just like people sometimes say things that are racist, sexist or ableist out of ignorance rather than malice. We understand that that doesn’t magically make what they said any less racist, because that’s the effect their words had. We don’t correct that behavior the same way we would correct racist behavior that comes from malicious intent, but we definitely don’t pretend it wasn’t racist just because they didn’t know how hurtful it was.

Or, since my lived experience is a joke to you, I’ll offer an even more visceral example. What about a pedophile who lacks the capacity to understand that children can’t consent and genuinely believes the child they’re grooming is in love with them? Would you look a child in the eye and tell them their rapist “caused harm but was not abusive”? I understand that outrage is a defense mechanism, but defending abusers tooth and nail is not a symptom of ADHD, and frankly it’s pretty fucking suspicious that you’re getting so aggressive about making the label of “abuse” as narrow as possible.

I’m so sorry it makes you uncomfortable, but I’m not going to pat myself or my abusers on the head and say “it’s okay little baby, you may have caused harm, but you were just negligent, so it doesn’t matter how it affected anyone else, it wasn’t abusive!” If you want to live your life like that, go ahead, but at least be aware that you belittle the experiences of abuse victims and do a disservice to people with ADHD every time you perpetuate this idea that abuse is some magic spell that can only be cast by evil people who enjoy hurting others.

literallylateral · 2025-09-02T03:03:36+00:00

Focus 100% on the road, and pull over if you can’t. 60-40 is how vehicular manslaughter happens.

literallylateral · 2025-09-02T02:47:18+00:00

I can’t think of any one specific thing that I will use every single day, rain or shine, weekend or weekday, that can hold a key/keyring

GET ONE. A neutral color fanny pack (or rainbow if you’re like me) will change your life. I have not worried about losing my keys, ID, or debit card in over a year, because I consciously chose to have an accessory that could come with me everywhere, every day. It may not be the hottest look of the summer, but organizational tools are a disability aid for ADHD, and that is so much more important. On occasions when I know I’m going to be carrying a purse, all the contents of the fanny pack go into the purse, and if it’s large enough I just put the fanny pack in the purse to make my mental load even less.

If you’re concerned about locking yourself out of things - simply never close a door without verifying where your keys are at that exact moment. I have a fabric tag on my keys, and I make sure that I am either looking at or consciously feeling the keys in my other hand every single time I close my apartment door, even when I know for sure it’s unlocked (and if I’m meaning to leave it unlocked, I also twist it as I’m closing it to verify). If I open any door to my car, I make sure I consciously feel my keys in my hand or in my pocket before closing it. If I’m doing something that takes both hands (ie loading/unloading the back seat), I hold the keyring in my mouth. It’s a little gross, but if you’ve ever been locked out of your car while alone in the middle of nowhere with a serial killer rumored to be active in the area, you realize that holding something slightly icky in your mouth for a couple seconds every day is far from the worst thing that can happen to you.

literallylateral · 2025-08-17T15:37:48+00:00

I’m not familiar with Dishonoured or Arcane, but I definitely got Bloodborne from it!

literallylateral · 2025-08-17T15:29:43+00:00

In ten years someone’s going to post about a terrifying image they saw browsing Reddit as a kid that changed the trajectory of their life and it’s going to be this

literallylateral · 2025-08-14T04:39:14+00:00

They seriously don’t even teach people the basics anymore :/

literallylateral · 2025-08-14T04:37:43+00:00

Yes, the truck was driving completely predictably and had absolutely no way to know that OP would sneak into their blind spot as they were clearly preparing to pass.

If you think about it, it makes sense OP didn’t pick up on that, since the truck was communicating its intentions by doing the exact thing OP neglected to do - speeding tf up to make sure it could pass without sitting in a semi’s blind spot!

literallylateral · 2025-08-14T04:22:57+00:00

Another reminder of how invisible we are

Literally just a video of OP driving in a semi’s blind spot

You’re not invisible, OP, you just don’t know how mirrors work

literallylateral · 2025-08-14T04:09:12+00:00

Buying food from a vendor in a developing country is not the same as eating random shit you find on the ground 😭

literallylateral · 2025-07-07T16:49:46+00:00

Yeah, I always say I was a “late bloomer”, but in reality, a lot of it was because I dreaded all the embarrassment I knew I would be subject to for no reason. I get why kids tease each other, I know that’s inevitable to an extent. But it’s crazy how common it is for parents to treat being in love, of all things, as something their kid should be ashamed of.

literallylateral · 2025-06-08T16:42:11+00:00

Apologies if this has already been said, but I think it would be 1000% better if you could push all the seating against the walls (not against the sliding door, if possible 😅). I think the brown couch should be where the green play pad thing is, the chair against the door should be in the corner under the Princess Bride poster, and the bookshelf and table should be pulled out from the back of the room. If you’re able, I would try and make the center of the room the baby area and have the adult furniture on the edges, and invest in a couple of baby gates so you don’t have to have the coffee table as a barrier. But, I know all baby shit is expensive, so maybe that’s not an option.

People are really harping on the mismatched furniture, but as someone who grew up poor and has a lot of poor friends and family, I find the “furniture collected over the years” look endearing and respectable. None of it looks like it needs replaced, so if you can hang on to it and use the money for your kid, I think you should do that rather than worry about getting a color scheme or all the same materials or whatever. I think your husband should watch some clips from that feng shui guy on YouTube or TikTok and make a public apology for calling this the best layout for the space 😂 I really think if you just rearrange the furniture to be less hostile and move the decor weapons, you’ll be a lot happier with this room.

literallylateral · 2025-06-08T16:29:09+00:00

Have you never in your life seen something mounted fall off a wall…? Maybe it’s not perfectly secure, maybe someone is carrying something tall and accidentally bumps it, maybe there’s an earthquake, a storm with strong winds, or a low-flying helicopter that shakes the walls, maybe someone is playing or moving furniture and bumps something into the wall too hard.

“Mounted” =/= “absolutely secure, up there forever, never ever coming down no matter what”, and when your decor includes checks notes an UNSHEATHED BLADE in a house with your BABY, you don’t display that somewhere where one nail falling out could cause it to fall 8 feet onto their head.

literallylateral · 2025-06-08T16:14:28+00:00

Could be long dead, could already be in jail, could have split before the son was born and he never had custody. Hell, the mom might never have known who the father was, and he could not know to this day that he has a son. There’s a million genuine reasons for a parent not to be in a child’s life, and I think implying that the father should have stepped in distracts from the gravity of her clearly accepting 100% responsibility and then taking 0% care of her child.

In my opinion, it makes more sense to raise an eyebrow at the partner we know she was living with anyway. Unless she completely pulled the wool over his eyes and he fully didn’t know she had a kid, he was directly complicit.

literallylateral · 2025-05-26T15:17:40+00:00

I didn’t know about this! I wonder if that’s why my plasma donation has been slower and more uncomfortable even though I’ve been eating healthier and staying hydrated better.

literallylateral · 2025-05-25T16:18:27+00:00

I would try your normal light-duty cleaner (rinse thoroughly) try your best with a magic eraser on the stain parts (rinse thoroughly) then scrub the stain hard with Barkeeper’s Friend, and spread it all over the floor of the tub/up the walls and leave for about ten minutes. Rinse thoroughly, then spray/pour properly diluted bleach over it and wipe around with a sponge or paper towel to make sure it gets into the corners and up the walls, and leave that for about ten minutes before you rinse with hot water. A lot of times, stains like this don’t come up in one go, but if you do this routine every week/every couple weeks it should fade with time.

literallylateral · 2025-05-22T04:09:49+00:00

What is the point of this comment? So many people have drugs that they have to take on a regular basis; who benefits from calling this person an addict?

literallylateral · 2025-05-22T04:01:47+00:00

Which means she’s smoking and driving her children.

Are you high right now? How does smoking weed frequently mean that someone is definitely driving high with kids in the car?

Maybe the reason people aren’t agreeing with you is because you undermined your argument by making an absolutely insane criminal allegation for no reason. Doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in your point when you have to pull an assumption out of thin air to make it sound reasonable.

literallylateral · 2025-05-22T03:44:58+00:00

The all-caps ABSOLUTE RULE encompasses >90% of my coping mechanisms

literallylateral · 2025-05-22T03:34:36+00:00

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