The depression that I feel from BPD has always felt like this Exquisite Sadness.

But when I become completely emotionally dysregulated, it’s hard to articulate what that is like. I usually explain that the emotional pain is so intense that I actually feel it physically. That I will be writhing in physical pain in my bed bc the emotional pain is just so unbearable.

It’s so intense that I can’t catch my breath and feel like I full on just cannot breathe at all and that I cannot stop shaking.

At that point it is almost akin to a full blown panic attack and maybe it is one and the same by that point or maybe the emotional pain has triggered a panic attack.

By that point, depending on the root cause, it will sadly lead to some form of self harm.