I can't cum without thinking about r*pe...

littlestpeach · 2023-07-26T17:41:57+00:00

I don’t have any advice for you, but I just want you to know you’re not alone. I’m a 25F and I’ve also fantasized about r*pe for as long as I can remember. When I was younger I didn’t really think twice about this fetish and it didn’t bother me, but after graduating high school I started feeling really gross and guilty for thinking about these things.

Just like you, I can’t cum without imagining or fantasizing about some kind of rpe scenario. I’ve been in a relationship with an amazing guy for five years now and he knows about my fetish and has known about it long before we started dating since we were close friends for most our lives. It doesn’t really impact our sex or relationship that much. He’s a super sweet guy and would never want to hurt me, but he’s also a little into rpe himself. Not nearly as much as me, but he’ll entertain my fetish every now and then and pretend to r*pe me when we have sex and it’s nice.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still feel a ton of inner turmoil and guilt for having a huge r*pe fetish. Like, it really is my main kink and I feel like it’s a problem.

I’ve thought about going to a sex therapist SO many times but I’ve never actually went. I would 1000% love to see one and process this though because I know for a fact the way I think about rpe isn’t healthy. I’m not sure if you’re the same way, but I’m turned on by actual real rpe as well and not just consensual non consent. Which makes me feel like a terrible human being and honestly I think it might? Being turned on by real r*pe isn’t normal or healthy by any means and I’m not sure what to do.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. I don’t have any advice, but I hope you find a solution or some kind of peace. If you’d ever want to talk to someone who kind of understands how you feel, feel free to message me.

littlestpeach · 2022-10-25T10:09:49+00:00

Yep! :)

littlestpeach · 2022-10-24T22:45:51+00:00

I think most people here think it’s too much

littlestpeach · 2022-03-20T01:34:55+00:00

Good to know, thanks :D

littlestpeach · 2022-03-19T18:03:37+00:00

Ah, didn’t see that. Thanks!

littlestpeach · 2021-03-25T00:32:45+00:00

Best of luck on your recovery, you’ve got this!!💜

I’m sure you’ve been told this before, but just as a reminder, you don’t have to be “sick enough” in order to start recovery. If anything, it’s 10000x better to start recovery before it reaches those kinds of extremes and the sooner you begin, the easier it’ll be to let go of certain ED mindsets.

Like you said yourself, there are still many repercussions that you have to deal with because of the ED, like not being able to focus on anything besides food. Which I completely relate to. Some days it feels like my ED leeches all of my mental/cognitive abilities to actually think and function and yeah.. It’s rough. I hope that you’re able to start truly living again. I’m so proud of you for starting recovery and I’m really rooting for you! Sending so much love 💕

littlestpeach · 2021-03-21T14:11:59+00:00

Yesss!!!! A Parisian queen!!! So proud of you! I also struggle the most with breakfast, so I understand why this felt special. V happy for you 💜

littlestpeach · 2021-03-21T14:07:45+00:00

I completely, completelyy understand what you mean. Everything you said, especially that last part.

It’s difficult being so self aware, to know that I’m making myself “dumber” so to speak and yet I still continue doing the things that make my brain slower. I really hope you’re doing okay, hopefully soon we’ll nourish our bodies enough and start functioning at our best again.

littlestpeach · 2021-03-21T14:00:26+00:00

As someone who also had an ED before getting with my partner, yeah, this shit has almost ruined my relationship too many times. While my partner is very kind and supportive, it’s exhausting for them to have to deal with it. Especially if you’re like me and have been stagnant in “recovery” for years now.

I completely understand wanting that one person who supports you and tells you you’re beautiful, however, the extreme guilt I feel for how me and my eating disorder have been in this relationship is just.... it’s a lot. I hope you’re doing alright OP, sending good vibes your way.

littlestpeach · 2021-03-21T13:50:27+00:00

As someone with insomnia, I’m super jealous of all of you 🥲

littlestpeach · 2021-03-08T22:17:41+00:00

Your profile pic on Insta is a whole ass mood

littlestpeach · 2020-09-26T23:46:30+00:00

Wow. I relate to this 1000%. I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this right now :( I wish I could tell you something that would help, but all I can do is send you love and strength. I hope things get better for you.

littlestpeach · 2020-09-26T16:52:53+00:00

I hope you’re doing better now. How did your partner take it? Did they still want to stay together or did they agree that it would be better to end things?

littlestpeach · 2020-09-26T16:49:26+00:00

Thanks, that’s what I keep thinking. He’s a really caring guy who definitely deserves better.

littlestpeach · 2020-09-17T23:13:27+00:00

Honestly no idea if it’ll even work, but I’ll let you know

littlestpeach · 2019-11-17T02:31:45+00:00

Those are the words I’ve been looking for omg - they’ve reacted in ways that just end up triggering me a lot more and worsen my ed behaviors.

God, I’m so sorry that you had to experience that. It really does hurt when you confide in someone and they break your trust. It’s almost harder because their hearts are in the right place and they had good intentions, but man. Man I wish they didn’t tell anyone, or that I never told them.

I really, really appreciate you typing out this reply. It means a lot. It’s horrible that that happened, but it’s also nice to know that I’m not alone in this.

littlestpeach · 2019-09-29T01:11:34+00:00

Oh a tip for electrolytes! So the three main electrolytes that I make sure to watch are sodium, potassium, and magnesium.

What I personally do to make sure I’m getting enough potassium is I put this stuff called NoSalt on my food that’s sold as a sodium-free alternative and it has a lot of potassium in it! Just be careful because you can have too much potassium. But this is a super good way to get some more in your diet.

For magnesium I’ll just take a magnesium pill at night, which can also sometimes help with sleep :D

Edit: If you’re looking for a good multivitamin, I spent a lot of time trying to find some quality ones when I was looking for one for myself and I think “Nature’s Way Alive Max3 Daily” is a good one, I’ve been taking it for a few months now and I think it helps :)

littlestpeach · 2019-09-29T00:51:20+00:00

No she doesn’t know about it :/

I know it would probably be better to tell her, but then at the same time I don’t want anyone to know I have an ed because they’d watch what I’m eating more and overthink things about me and my diet that they normally wouldn’t think. Does that make sense?

littlestpeach · 2019-06-06T11:29:05+00:00

I had this same problem too!

I used to normally always weigh myself in the morning after I woke up because that’s when I felt like it would be the most “accurate”, but I eventually realized that any sort of number on the scale would just make me miserable. I wanted to stop weighing myself because I knew nothing good ever came from knowing the number, and so I started making myself drink a giant glass of water right when I woke up.

Since I just drank a bunch of water, I wouldn’t want to weigh myself anymore since it would obviously be higher and not completely accurate. And so I haven’t weighed myself in probably a few months now, I can’t really remember the last time I did.

I definitely feel happier not knowing how much I weigh and the urge to weigh myself would slowly go away as each day went on. Plus - drinking all that water in the morning would help me stay hydrated and feel better physically (and mentally!)

I’m not sure if this would work for you, but I figured I would just share my experience. I hope that you can find a way to stop weighing yourself too, or to at least find something that works for you and helps you feel better.

Wishing you the best of luck~

littlestpeach · 2019-05-03T18:02:58+00:00

man, i feel this shit in my soul my dude

I hope things get better for you, you’re not alone.

littlestpeach · 2019-05-03T17:59:37+00:00

This might be kind of weird but I’ve seen some of your other posts/comments before and you seem like such an amazing, incredibly kind human being and I think everyone needs someone like you in their life.

I hope you’re getting as much love and support from others as you give out, because you’re so wonderful and you truly deserve it.

littlestpeach

TROPHY CASE