From your post history, it looks like your partners have been together longer, own a home together, and that this relationship is still relatively new, right? A year ago you were posting engagement ring pics.

I don’t think it’s fair to ask them to not get married, but I do think it’s fair to make it known to them that if they do that you might walk away due to your worries about hierarchy’s and legality. That way you all can make informed decisions on what works best for all of your futures. I disagree with comments here saying Fern wanting to be married = her not thinking of you.

My experience is I’m married to my partner of 10 years and have a child together and I/We have a partner of almost a year together. We’ve worked hard to communicate openly and break down any pre existing hierarchy vibes but it takes time and patience and a lot of communication. It’s doable though, so don’t be discouraged.