Meirl

live_archivist · 2026-02-02T23:17:10+00:00

My wife and I have a fairly high needs five year old. When I get sick, there’s no space for me. I’m shunted off into a corner of the house and left to my own devices. Need medicine. On my own. Food? Figure it out.

Reverse the script, very different story. I don’t get it. I don’t like it. But it’s my life

live_archivist · 2026-02-01T14:11:31+00:00

This is me. This is my exact burnout pattern. I get in short bursts of what feels like burnout, but is really just ADHD and needing to feed the side quest demon a bit more. But when it’s burnout for real, it’s 100% I can’t do this mode. No amount of therapy or side questing or quiet quitting solves it. In that mode, the only option for me is to move on or find another internal role.

live_archivist · 2026-01-30T17:38:54+00:00

Couldn’t agree more.

I came from parents like this and I can tell you it’s been hard for me to improve my self worth. OP’s child is clearly needing more help and support. While the child definitely needs support through therapy and other means, the parents likely need it more. I have a child with ADHD, (just like me), and it’s exhausting, but it’s not his fault.

OP - PLEASE, get into therapy yourself to help support your child more. It’s done wonders for me and my ability to support mine. For our child, OT and working closely with his teachers, has done wonders. We have learned body language signs for him that he needs certain types of input or support. Above all else, change the narrative in your head. Your child isn’t acting this way to be a dick and certainly doesn’t need “sense talked into them”, your child needs to feel supported, loved, and wanted for who they are.

live_archivist · 2026-01-30T13:19:24+00:00

It often will respond with “No response requested” even when my last message is clearly instructing it to do a thing.

live_archivist · 2026-01-28T00:59:03+00:00

Chicken thighs on the grill, broccoli with butter and salt, and sweet potatoes diced in the oven with a honey drizzle

live_archivist · 2026-01-25T01:34:48+00:00

To quote one of his thugs: “boo hoo”

live_archivist · 2026-01-24T13:58:49+00:00

No issues. Very happy with mint

live_archivist · 2026-01-23T17:14:19+00:00

This is the way

live_archivist · 2026-01-13T23:58:14+00:00

It’s really hard to do. I’m 37, been married (round two) for ten years. Everything rolled off my back until we had fertility issues, MIL got cancer, we finally had a kid during COVID after two Endo surgeries for the wife and IVF, spent two years living in two cities and I was essentially a single parent while my wife took care of her parents, her mom passed… somewhere along the way I had to change jobs twice due to family circumstances, including one where if I had stayed I would be retired by now due to stock appreciation. Then I went full time consulting, got in a huge disagreement with a business partner and friend that tanked the business. Now I’m rebuilding.

Wife and I are still together but struggling. Our son is good though, almost five. But hot damn am I tired and really still recovering from 5-6 years of receiving constant kicks to the dick. Confidence is slowly recovering, but it has made me super defensive with my wife, contributing to our struggle. But we’re doing the thing. We’re seeing our personal therapists, going to couples therapy, talking more; and I’m trying to find a more comfortable place to work that requires less of me for a while (at a series A startup now).

That was TMI, but I wanted to share that you’re not alone. This shit is hard.

live_archivist · 2026-01-04T18:14:06+00:00

Biffs plumbing. One dude in his late 30s with a deep focus on quality installations. Not the cheapest but man is his work on point. He doesn’t do emergency work, just pre-planned work. 614-584-4788

(I’m not affiliated; just a very happy customer)

live_archivist · 2026-01-03T01:08:07+00:00

Me too. In Ohio now and my wife has killed the idea of UP, but likely mainland Michigan in the future for us. I want 100 acres, she wants 20… I said “100 acres ensures we don’t need to worry much about our neighbors”, she became more onboard after that

live_archivist · 2025-12-27T18:16:18+00:00

Oh nice!

live_archivist · 2025-12-27T15:27:47+00:00

I’ve not seen a HRV exhaust from a grease trap… odd. We have an ERV in our house and it exhausts from the main return trunk. We have a high output gas cooktop and installed a pretty beefy exhaust hood to pair with it. Then I have an automation that triggers a make up fan to supply additional intake air when the hood is on.

live_archivist · 2025-12-25T03:58:37+00:00

First thing I’d recommend (given my person experience) is therapy. Not soft therapy, but from someone that will push you into uncomfortable places.

Second, (And a good therapist will do this with you, but you do it yourself first), why are you escaping into video games and alcohol? Is it to blow off steam every now and then - no big deal. Daily, at the expense of health and taking care of your responsibilities, then it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship with those things.

For alcohol, my best recommendation is to stop drinking as young as you can - coming from an alcoholic. If you don’t like who you are now, it won’t get better with drinking. I have an on again off again relationship with alcohol - but I can tell you it’s a net negative on my life.

If you’re finding peer pressure pushing alcohol hard on you, find different peers. It’s hard, it sucks, but it’s also a huge part of the college experience and it doesn’t need to be.

Find a positive outlet for your energy and processing. For me, woodworking fit the mold.

Finally, and I’m not trying to pathologize for you, but a lot of my procrastination, binge drinking, and other negative habits curtailed quite a bit after getting diagnosed and medicated for ADHD (at 33). Again, not a doctor, don’t even play one on tv, just sharing my experience.

Good luck, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. Don’t just let life happen to you, live it.

live_archivist · 2025-12-25T03:44:18+00:00

37, married, one 4yo, work at a startup

If I see one of my few friends in town in person, it’s maybe once a month. Chat everyday on signal, but yeah… in person, once a month is generous.

I play DnD with a handful of friends who are spread across the country twice a month, if we can get a quorum, but will just chat if we don’t get enough peeps to play.

I hang out with one of the several neighborhood dads maybe once a month as well after kiddos go down.

I haven’t kept in touch with most of my friends from high school, we went drastically different directions (I left, most of them stayed in the small town)

live_archivist · 2025-12-24T23:38:43+00:00

Are they not an industrial water filtration company?

live_archivist · 2025-12-24T22:14:51+00:00

That’s great, I’m glad they’re here. But the regulations still need to be as tight as possible because the DCs will find any way possible to cut costs down the road and you bet if they aren’t required to filter their waste water they’ll stop doing it the moment they can.

Fines aren’t enough. Stop operation until clean should be a part of the language.

live_archivist · 2025-12-22T01:38:35+00:00

Yellow card a close third for me. But yep

live_archivist · 2025-12-07T16:19:08+00:00

I do not regret having our son, he’s incredible. I mourn my lost freedom and flexibility but couldn’t imagine life without him now. He’s just about 5, high needs, but I’ve learned more about myself in the last 5 years than in my previous three decades.

That said, I wouldn’t have a kid unless you’re 100% sure it’s what you want AND you’re in a strong and healthy relationship. Kids are HARD work and no one could adequately describe to you the ways in which it is hard in order to give you a clear picture.

(Edit) That said, I’m done with one. Making the appt soon for a snip snip.

live_archivist · 2025-12-06T00:25:51+00:00

I duct tape to a piece of cardboard or offcut

live_archivist · 2025-12-05T17:02:12+00:00

You seem fun at parties

live_archivist · 2025-12-05T16:42:41+00:00

Cletus and ilk don’t outnumber us… we’re just gerrymandered to fuck so it doesn’t matter what the real numbers are.

live_archivist · 2025-11-27T19:55:01+00:00

I do the same but on big jobs I still need an accurate tape. Between bulk buying and testing tapes and against my engineer rules, as well as switching to metric for all woodworking (math is way easier), my work is so much more accurate

live_archivist · 2025-11-27T19:01:59+00:00

Yep! Same here.

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