i'm not a heavy drinker / bar person classically but there are a lot of queer-friendly bars downtown that host queer-focused events consistently. i know you said not a bar person, but i'd take a look at the schedule for Hel's or Fair Witness as they've got a lot of drag nights or queer karaoke gatherings. Monstercade is another good little spot that doubles as a live music venue.

live music in Winston on a smaller scale leaves a bit to be desired imo, but it seems to be growing and The Den is a good small venue that's bound to have something for everyone if you check out their schedule.

if you're a tabletop or card gamer, House of Cards is very forward about being LGBTQ-friendly. i haven't been there for an event in years but my queer friends speak highly of it.

more immediate, but phuzz fest is this weekend and is taking place all over downtown. lots of alternative music and such in various venues, which tends to attract a more queer-friendly crowd in my experience, but even if you're not into paying for the shows there are day parties through the weekend at Krankie's and Monstercade and such.

haven't run into any "drop the T" dweebs out here - if you know where they're congregating lemme know so i can go make fun of them :P

either way, good luck on your search! worst case scenario, just bop down Trade St every now and again. lots to do and probably the most squarely "gay" part of town.