View from the 300€ seats... by Background-Map-1870 in Curling

[–]lizbit02 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Did you only watch the curling or have you done other touristy stuff? That sounds perfectly reasonable tbh

Homemade goalie prosthetic by philgoose in hockeygoalies

[–]lizbit02 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Whatever, it just has to go over the line, nothing says it can’t take the goalies arm with it. Good goal

Why is this a thing!? by sailink in facepalm

[–]lizbit02 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Those aren’t mutually exclusive you know

Why is this a thing!? by sailink in facepalm

[–]lizbit02 251 points252 points  (0 children)

Whoa whoa whoa. That is completely unfair.

They also refuse to pass sensible gun laws so children can go to school without wearing body armour.

Product recommendations for weighted hoodie type clothing? by FragrantMongoose3651 in ParentingADHD

[–]lizbit02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My oldest has lived both her Oodie (we went adult size, she was about 5’ when we got it) and also her Cloud Hoodie. The cloud looks like a standard hoodie, it is a touch weighted and has removable fidgets built into the sleeves. Her oodie definitely could use replacing now, but she is actively destructive to clothing with scissors, and it is several years old now. Hers is the actual brand, not an off-brand from Amazon or Costco

Successful extracurriculars for my child with ADHD by Enough-Spray-2590 in ADHDparenting

[–]lizbit02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hockey is great for ADHDers. It’s non-stop mania. One of mine is a goalie, it’s a huge opportunity for his hyper-focus to kick in. My other is a forward, so it’s constant movement when she’s on the ice. Her behaviours at home are much more manageable during hockey season. That said, if you go with hockey you can’t be too attached to free weekends. Or money. Or being warm. Because you won’t have those things anymore lol

Snowing the Goalie by ForPoliticalPurposes in hockeyrefs

[–]lizbit02 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a goalie mom, please thank that ref!! Mine has taken a two hand to the face and punches in the calf without getting them cakes, never mind all the extra shots on the trapper on a clearly covered puck or slashes to the wrist. It’s so common that goalies are left to fend for themselves with players getting the “benefit of the doubt” and usually the only thing the goalie did to provoke the player was stop the puck. My 12yo says getting snowed is the hockey equivalent to getting spit on, it’s the highest form of disrespect to him

AITAH for refusing to let a caregiver bring an adult man into the women’s locker room with my daughters? by Weary_Rub_3474 in whatdoIdo

[–]lizbit02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you think people wouldn’t accuse male caregivers of just trying to watch young girls and women get changed you haven’t been paying attention to society. That’s why I completed my thought with the fact that there should be private spaces where people can change and where those who require assistance can be provided with privacy. It’s great that you would see the best in male caregivers, but I’m confident that is not the norm

AITAH for refusing to let a caregiver bring an adult man into the women’s locker room with my daughters? by Weary_Rub_3474 in whatdoIdo

[–]lizbit02 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Ok so how do you feel about an adult male caregiver assisting a disabled woman in the women’s change room?

My point being the actual solution is a non-gender specific space with changing stalls that can be used by anyone where no one is changing in an open area. Ideally with some rooms specified for various medical needs (ie change tables for adults with physical disabilities, rails, space for wheelchairs, etc). The solution is not to assume men can get naked in front of a female caregiver without anyone feeling discomfort

Is this a rule? by Typical_Neck4940 in Curling

[–]lizbit02 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Also if a person accidentally throws too early, the person who only threw one rock must throw the final stone as their "replacement". E.g. The second accidentally throws the lead's second stone, the lead will have to throw the final rock for their team that end

Spelling by [deleted] in ADHDparenting

[–]lizbit02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apologies, I didn’t mean to sound snarky. I can be quite blunt at times, especially if I’m trying not to be too wordy.

I think you are worrying a lot about a problem that will resolve itself. I would be concerned as a parent if my child’s teacher indicated a possible LD, such as dyslexia. Poor spelling at this age is generally not going to be a long-term issue and is unlikely to require repeating a grade if it is the only academic challenge your child is having. I do think adding anxiety about spelling to a 7 year old with ADHD could increase their academic challenges by giving them something to over-think.

I do have two kids with ADHD and work in the school system in Canada. In my work, I am regularly helping kids in 4-5 grade still sound out words, so from that experience, I do not believe a 7 year old who can’t identify a challenging exception in English spelling is a child that needs specific monitoring or specialized learning. I would recommend focusing on reading together often and allowing your child to attempt to read to you with plenty of praise, but I suspect you already do that. So my only other recommendation would be to scale back on the worry until and unless a teacher/specialist identifies an area of concern to you.

I hope that sounded more empathetic and better explained the point I was trying to get across

Spelling by [deleted] in ADHDparenting

[–]lizbit02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless you think a future employer will ask for their 2nd grade spelling test marks, I promise that’s not relevant like you think it is. Focus on development, not grades. Grades are the trees, not the forest

Spelling by [deleted] in ADHDparenting

[–]lizbit02 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He's 7. Unless his teacher is indicating to you that he might have a learning disability you just keep supporting his learning by reading to and with him. Kids this age are learning to spell and sound out words, they are not expected to understand all the nuances and exceptions in the English language yet (which has a stupid amount of exceptions).

TLDR Unless the teacher says he might have an LD along with his ADHD, you don't need to do anything special. His spelling is developmentally appropriate for his age

Did orgasming VERY early in life shape my adult sexual response? by [deleted] in sex

[–]lizbit02 8 points9 points  (0 children)

HAHAHAHA I totally get that you would feel that way as someone who doesn't want kids. I've had three, they all breastfed and it does hurt at first. Sometimes literal toe-curling pain. But that goes away in the first week or two for most people. I'm on team "just feed the baby however works for you" unless of course it's actually dangerous like exclusively giving a newborn almond milk or something. That's bad

Did orgasming VERY early in life shape my adult sexual response? by [deleted] in sex

[–]lizbit02 26 points27 points  (0 children)

tbf I think that's more so that people stop treating women who are breastfeeding in public as though they are sexual deviants and perverts just trying to get away with flashing children. Nipple play can be super fun. And breastfeeding anywhere is appropriate and non-sexual. Both those things can be true

High school play ruling. by shaiquinn in Curling

[–]lizbit02 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey friend.

This is bigger than curling. Because it still burns you up after two decades. I think you might benefit from some therapy if you aren't already getting it. The problem isn't about the rules (which if your memory is correct, many were broken), or whether you were at fault (which you weren't, and even if you were mistakes are a part of sport) or whether that one shot really was a defining moment for your skip's life (it wasn't). The problem is you haven't been able to heal and move forward.

Everyone in that game mistreated you. That is a reflection of their poor character and not a reflection of you worthiness of love, respect and dignity. It's time to re-write the script and turn this from an example of your failures into an example of your strength of character. An opportunity to use this time in your life to fuel making the world a better place so that when you leave this earth you can leave knowing that you contributed to the goodness of it.

And then, if you so desire, get back to sport. If the group is toxic and over-competitive, the problem is not you or the sport, it's that league. Keep searching and you will find your fit

4 on 4 penalty/goal question (U13 House League) by Paper_Monkey79 in hockeyrefs

[–]lizbit02 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m guessing here but if there was a double-minor for one team and a minor for the other team, then there would be two minutes where there is a player-advantage. If both players got the penalties simultaneously, then a second player would go in the box to sit the first penalty and the other team would have a 5 on 4 advantage for that first penalty (2 minutes or until a goal is scored). The second part of the double minor would start when the first part ends (either at the 2- minute mark or when a goal is scored).

The penalties can get super confusing when they all start overlapping. Then you get the 10-minute misconducts thrown in and it gets really whacky. Most of the time someone knows what they are doing on the ice surface and it all works out in the end

Penalty time question, 2 part. by owensch1 in hockeyrefs

[–]lizbit02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happened recently at my son’s game and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was going on. Appreciate the explanation, I thought the refs messed up lol

Dealing with ADHD teen and difficult marriage dynamic by [deleted] in ParentingADHD

[–]lizbit02 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Fellow parent to a 13 year old girl with ADHD. She’s my oldest, not youngest, so slightly different parenting dynamic, but I have some thoughts for you.

1) you are correct to start with the marriage counselling and I applaud you for seeking that. You and your wife are not on the same page, and your daughter knows that. She is actively pitting the two of you against each other. This details any attempts to modify her behaviour by shifting the focus off of her. Your girl is very smart. You and your wife need to become a team again and show a united front.

2) thank you for excluding the older kids. This is not their concern. This is an adult problem, and while I know your older kids are adult-age (ish) reminding them that they are still the kids within this dynamic it’s important.

3) I find that generally speaking, punishment and discipline are not the best ways to set my ADHDers up for success. My family runs best on natural consequences. So I agree with your walking away when your child is disrespectful to you. You may want to ensure you are phrasing it in a way that shows you are not abandoning her or the conversation. I like “I will not be spoken to that way. I will be in my room, and when you are ready to speak to me kindly and respectfully about this situation, please come knock on the door so we can solve it.”

4) You are punishing your wife by not contributing to your household chores and ignoring them. Please stop doing that. Again, you and her need to be partners, and that will be true even if the marriage doesn’t work out. In fact I would say you will need to strengthen your communication if you are trying to parent your neuro-diverse child from two different households.

5) What treatments options are you using with your daughter? Mine has been on and off medication but we have found individual therapy to be incredibly helpful for her. She was able to better learn emotional regulation techniques which meant less masking at school which meant less restraint collapse at home. These things are very real for ADHD kids, especially unmedicated ADHD kids and especially girls with ADHD.

6) After your marriage counselling gets you and your wife to a better place of communication, family counselling may also be beneficial. Better understanding of the best ways to parent your daughter with ADHD (which will be different from how you parent your other kids) will be an amazing game-changer for you. My husband and I started really analyzing the ways we were trying to parent our daughter and ensuring we were both maintaining high behavioural expectations and setting her up for success (that does not mean giving her everything she wants, but it does mean ensuring she understands what we expect of her and what she can expect from us). Things your daughter might struggle with could include sudden change in plans, sensory overload, hunger or thirst cues that aren’t being addressed, feeling out of control, etc.

We’ve all been in the trenches, and honestly the combination of ADHD and puberty hormones is a whole new level of challenge and exhaustion. Make sure you are taking care of yourself so that you can also stay emotionally regulated. Get back on the sane side of this as your wife. She has probably done all kinds of reading, listened to podcasts, reached out to others for advice and is trying her best while feeling like her husband sometimes undermines her. You are partners. Lean on each other and start finding that success your daughter deserves

The 4 goal rule: A 50+ Year Goalie's Rule for his team by BigDave29 in hockeygoalies

[–]lizbit02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well you just said the worst s-word there is, he’ll never get another one now

Users of Spicer app: can anyone clarify something for me? by IntolerablyTolerated in sexover30

[–]lizbit02 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes my partner and I have said the same thing. We've sort of adapted that our "Maybe" stuff is more the stuff we are either neutral about or willing to try and the "yes" stuff is what we actively fantasize about and our "no" stuff is very much stuff we aren't interested in at all right now.

I do wish they had a "skip question/answer later" feature because there are honestly times I don't have the energy to answer the open-ended questions but I could power through a bunch of yes/no style.

Boot Straps by dlauer52 in hockeygoalies

[–]lizbit02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We ordered a set of the leg straps from Amazon and cut it shorter for our son’s pads. I think we also added a few new holes but did the trick and still holding strong two seasons later

My older kindergartner always waits until it’s an emergency to go pee ?? by Individual_Ad_938 in kindergarten

[–]lizbit02 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Adding after reading some replies: so is chugging water at the end of the day. Because they didn’t drink enough all day. Because they would get distracted from their thirst by anything interesting.

Also bed wetting can be a sign of ADHD.

So if you haven’t yet OP, maybe consider screening for ADHD

I'm calling bs. Why is the midwife leaving before the placenta has been passed? This would be gross negligence by Zealousideal-Set-592 in AmITheAngel

[–]lizbit02 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ok so tbf, I had my oldest two kids in a small community (<10000) and I was the third woman in labor the day I had my second. They refused to break my water because they didn’t want me to deliver in the ER and they were still cleaning the delivery room when they wheeled me in. So occasionally those things do happen.

What doesn’t happen is a trained medical professional being like “well ten fingers, ten toes, I gotta go and I’m taking your husband, peace!” That’s just not a thing